Monday, November 27, 2023

Weekend Wrap - Porta-Potty Update Edition

Lots to cover, surprisingly including some actual golf.... Shall we lede with that?  Yanno, Just for a change of pace....

Let Him Cook? - It's hard to keep up with these kids, but this guy seems to be a comer:

BRISBANE, Australia — It's hard to know where Min Woo Lee does his best work. Tournament results this year suggest it's on golf's biggest stages. But one could argue it's on social media. There,
the younger brother of LPGA star Minjee Lee does everything from mobilize his 600,000-plus total followers with a catchphrase, "Let him cook," to obtaining Steph Curry's cell phone through Instagram DMs.

Lee, 25, fended off a field of stars from Australia, Europe and Asia to capture the first of two tournaments that make up the DP World Tour’s Down Under swing. Lee began the final day with a three-shot lead at Royal Queensland and a closing 68 gave him a 20-under-par 264 total. He defeated runner-up Rikuya Hoshino of Japan for his third career DP World Tour win. Lee is expected to rise to a career-high No. 38 on the Official World Golf Rankings when the next listing becomes is posted on Monday.

Australian Marc Leishman (64) was third at 16 under. Former U.S. Amateur champion Curtis Luck (69) was fourth, while LIV golfer Joaquin Niemann was fifth at 13 under, making an ace at the par-3 fourth. Adam Scott (sixth), Lucas Herbert and Cameron Davis were some of the names in the top 10.

What used to be the wonderful and meaningful Australian Championship Season has now been downsized to a 2-week Down Under Swing on the Euro Tour, but at least they're drawing some familiar names.  The hat is not a candidate for our ongoing coverage of bizarre tournament trophies and prizes, but rather a social media homage:

One of the more outgoing characters in the game, Lee put on a chef’s hat on the 17th green to celebrate with fans and honor his “Let him cook” social media mantra that took off during the Players Championship. Imagine having that kind of confidence with a hole still to play. That’s Min Woo Lee.

According to mythology, Lexi Thompson is a battle-hardened competitor by virtue of growing up with two athletic brothers, whereas the reality is far different for sure.  I just wonder in Min Woo's case if his big-game hunting capability is the predictable result of competing against his big sister....  Time will tell, but the kid could be great.

Golden Slumbers -  One under-appreciated aspect of D-Day (the 2023 version, it goes without saying) is the effect it can have on the USGA-R&A proposal to institute a Model Local Rule governing balls used in elite competition.  It's been quiet through the comment period, but the R&A's Martin Slumbers had some quite specific comments on this important subject:

Distance. Specifically, how far golf’s leading practitioners can these days propel balls with their turbo-charged equipment, is the aspect of the game that, surely more than any other, bonds the
regulatory bodies. Standing side-by-side, arm-in-arm and shoulder-to-shoulder, the R&A and the USGA are currently going head-to-head with a variety of interested parties in a battle for the future of the sport.

“Unequivocally, the ball is going further than it did 15 years ago,” says R&A CEO Martin Slumbers in an exclusive interview with Golf Digest. “And I see no reason to doubt it will not continue to do so. I’ve long been of this view. And for a long time, I had to keep it private. But once we published our distance report at the start of this process, I was very clear that, for the good of the game, we need to address this issue.

“From that point of view and from an environmental point of view, we have to do something,” he continues. “We have been very clear, as has [CEO] Mike Whan at the USGA. There are only three options: We can bifurcate; you change the whole game; or you do nothing. And doing nothing is not an option. We stand by that.”

Slumbers seems to be saying to the two PGA's, your ball is being rolled back, regardless of what happens to the great unwashed masses.  So, Patrick (just to pick a PGA Tour player at random), do you want your intransigence to affect Joe Sixpack?  More importantly, do you want that hissy fit to result in the shrinkage of the recreationally game, because that's what you tell us will happen.

And, yes, the question is better directed to Wally Uihlein.....

“The game was not happy with the Model Local Rule,” admits Slumbers. “There was a view that it would create a bifurcated game at the elite level. It was a very strong pushback against that. The PGA Tour was very public about it. So was the PGA of America. A number of players spoke out. And our job is to listen.

“But our responsibility is to the long-term future of the game. Along with the USGA, the R&A is a custodian of the game. We’re responsible for our period of time, something that has gone on for hundreds of years and will go on for hundreds more. So, we are listening. And we have made a decision about what we are going to do. We’re working that through at the moment and will make it public before the end of the year.”

We'll see how it all plays out, but apparently we should be hoarding golf balls, at least according to Geoff:

This was the second report quoting Slumbers suggesting the “Model Local Rule” bifurcation concept may be jettisoned after excessive whining by the PGA Tour and PGA of America. The first dropped November 10th from Golf Monthly. But the Digest report was the first to get widespread notice and, my oh my has it been fun reading predictions of mass quitting, hoarding of (current golf) balls, and other petulant social media displays of ignorance oblivious to the fact that (A) the Rules of Golf are 100% optional to abide by for golfers and manufacturers, (B) companies could continue to sell non-conforming equipment for those who prefer to buy their skill, and (C) very few of these softies have the clubhead speed to notice a distance decrease as presented in the Model Local Rule proposal. But let’s just see the details first, shall we?

It's not so much a preference as a necessity, Geoff, but we take your point all the same.

In the aftermath of that D-Day shock, I spent some time thinking through the impact of that "merger" on the USGA-R&A initiative, which seemed tricky for the governing bodies, though perhaps manageable with three of the four majors committed.

But it took longer for us to understand the paralyzing uncertainty of that effort, which has already consumed to comment period and makes for unprecedented uncertainty for the governing bodies and tours.  

Did Someone Mention Uncertainty? - For the Chinese, living in interesting times is a curse, which only now makes complete sense to me....  Because...well, you'll not need me to explain.

It's supposed to be the quiet se4ason, but it's been anything but.  First, the payoffs:

The PGA Tour gives mega-millions to its stars. Some pros hate it

Some fans, as well..... And don't get me started on bloggers....

But, as many times as you've heard me call out headers, this one gets it so very right, specifically with that first verb.  Oh, they're trying to convince us that it's earned, not given, but boy is that weak tea:

But the popularity of the PGA Tour, the ratings its TV partners receive, the people who will travel to Charlotte for the Wells Fargo and buy tickets in Los Angeles for the Genesis Invitational — these things are not necessarily tied to where players finish on the leaderboards. That is what the PGA Tour has earmarked millions of bonus dollars for. A payout for players who have the stardom to impact those aforementioned things that matter to the PGA Tour. Players who have weight in the golf world. Players who can impact the Tour’s bottom line simply by existing. That’s why it’s called the Player Impact Program.

Oh, that makes perfect sense..... We're paying Tiger for existing but, gee, other guys exist as well, no?  

In year’s past, the PIP rankings have been shared by the Tour itself, and sometimes even leaked through golf media. But one thing was different this year: The rankings came via Instagram. And via one Instagram account in particular. Nate Lashley’s Instagram.

Lashley is the 187th-ranked player in the world. He just finished 96th in the FedEx Cup Fall standings, which means he won’t be playing in any signature events to begin the 2024 season. He has full status, which is job security. You’ll see his name on leaderboards next year. But for the moment Lashley is upset.

“How many golf fans actually know what the PIP on the PGA Tour is?” he wrote in his IG caption. “Would love to hear from golf/PGA fans if they think this $100 million was spent well? There’s 150-200 members of the PGA Tour and they just spent $100 million on 20 players. Seems a little ridiculous. Time for new leadership on the PGA Tour. This is an absolute kick in the face to the rest of the PGA Tour players.”

A kick in the face! That’s how Lashley feels. He wants that sum of $100 million redistributed to tournament purses, which he made clear in subsequent comments, and you can’t blame him for feeling that way. That gives him the best chance to grab a share of that money. Because Lashley is not going to finish anywhere near the top of the PIP rankings, barring a massive change in ability. And if the entire structure of the PGA Tour’s profits and losses hinged on those tournaments and their leaderboards, he might have a decent case.

Right.  But Jay needed a slush fund to pay off Tiger, who isn't able to earn purses any longer.  So many lazy sports journalists have written as if this is a battle between the players and the "owners", whereas the battle lines are among these players and the rest of professional golf:

1. Rory McIlroy — $15 million
2. Tiger Woods — $12 million
3. Jon Rahm — $9 million
4. Jordan Spieth — $7.5 million
5. Scottie Scheffler — $6 million
6. Rickie Fowler — $5.5 million
7. Viktor Hovland — $5 million
8. Justin Thomas — $5 million
9. Tommy Fleetwood — $5 million
10. Max Homa — $5 million
11. Xander Schauffele — $3 million
12. Jason Day — $3 million
13. Tony Finau — $3 million
14. Collin Morikawa — $3 million
15. Matt Fitzpatrick — $3 million
16. Wyndham Clark — $2 million
17. Cameron Young — $2 million
18. Justin Rose — $2 million
19. Patrick Cantlay — $2 million
20. Brian Harman — $2 million

That's $100 million diverted from purses to allow Jay to pay off the guys he thinks he needs... Based upon opaque measurement criteria that exactly no one understands.

The only good news is that Tour is appearing sheepish about this.  Why do I say that?  First, there's the bit above about not announcing it.  Secondly, there's this:

The Tour’s only problem in acknowledging its most impactful stars? It’s that Lashley is not alone. James Hahn has made a stink about this same issue in the past — millions in funds going to a select few instead of the membership at large. Lanto Griffin just bemoaned the difference between the Tour’s haves and have-nots a week ago in Georgia. A divide exists now more than ever before. And the PIP isn’t going anywhere. Players received a memo with the results Wednesday, but along with it they received a note on how the program would exist and change in 2024. $50 million to the top 10 players, a slight change from $100 million to the top 20. Lashley now has a full year to get comfortable with that.

So, let me see if I follow.  The PIP program is necessary to continue to promote the Tour's growth, but we're gonna chop it in half in 2024....   OK, who doesn't love a clown show?

I've long been a Mad-Lib fan, so this might be podcast to give a listen:

I've mostly gone with slush fund, but I'm guessing their listeners will have some better bon mots.

Among the many reasons to hate PIP is this gnarly issue of what social media engagement is actually positive.  For instance, this sourpuss seemingly got his $2 million for being an a*****e:

Why not?  Phil got $200 million for the same....

But wait, we're not done coddling these overly-entitled game growers.  The Tour has sent a memo to sponsors dramatically upping the care-and-feeding of these delicate warriors:

The requirements are:

• All tournaments now must provide complimentary courtesy cars during the week.

• Tournaments will have amenities for players’ families on the course, including a private restroom on each nine, with flushable toilets, water and dry snacks. Additionally, four restroom stations on each nine will be provided for the players.

• Cold plunge tubs, which have become popular to the players, will be provided by the tour, with tournament directors needing to find a place to put them and keep them maintained during the week.

• The memo states that tour players are focused on their nutrition and wellness, and that the tour is “encouraging” events to re-evaluate the meals that players and their families are receiving in player dining.

I was under the impression that golf had been played for hundreds of years without cold water plunges, but I stand corrected.  But I hope you've kept some outrage in reserve, because you'll be shocked to know that the Tour is only worried about the diets of those twenty guys:

The enhancements get nicer for the tour’s Signature and Playoff events. Among the requirements for those tournaments are reserved parking for the players’ families, agents and coaches; organic food options; complimentary dry cleaning for players and caddies, and free picture yardage books.

The Tour seems perfectly happy to allow Nate Lashley to poison himself with non-organic food, which seems a human rights violation.

The funny part of this is that the Ports-Potty thing apparently originates with comments from Jon Rahm back in August, and we all understand that when you gotta go..... But Mr. Rahm has been subject of many recent rumors, so this seems a fair trade-off:

If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the answer is quite obvious, although organic food is way down the list.

Just to amuse us further, we have Phil and Alan Shipnuck getting into it again:

I have no idea whether Rahm is really in play, though he at least seems willing to allow the rumors to stand:

Meanwhile, Rahm’s reps scoffed at the notion during his recent Dubai appearance and yet the Masters champion has yet to get on social media to calm Global Home nerves. You know, the way he did after bailing from the TGL before the ceiling caved in. Rahm could just be leveraging a few millions more out of the Tour’s private equity bonus pool expected for top non-LIV defectors. Or, he’s talking with the Saudis and is merely negotiating final details on a Fireflies ownership takeover from Sergio. Or he just doesn’t care about refuting the possibility of a jump to LIV, which, no disrespect to Cam Smith, would be a monumental twist in the LIV v. PGA Tour saga.

Although Phil saying that he doesn't know anything is quite precious..... He usually embraces being a lightning rod, so it's amusing and perhaps meaningful that he's ducking here.  I'm having trouble understanding how Rahm could jump at this juncture, given that sad state of all things LIV, but no doubt $500 million is hard to decline.  But funny that someone should mention Cam Smith, because:

Obviously we shouldn't draw too many conclusions from a mere 36 holes of golf, tough let's remember that Cam told us he signed to spend more time in his homeland, though he didn't specify that he'd be stinking up the joint.

I and many others have noted that LIV can't be good for a players long-term competitiveness.  Of course, the LIVsters fet that 2023's major season vindicated them, not without some favorable data points to cite.  Obviously we're all reacting to small sample sizes, but it's not like any of us thought these guys would lose their skills completely.  Still, Cam seems like he doesn't much care anymore, so remind me why we should.

I'm going to leave you here, Dear Reader, and hit the hero World Challenge and other bits over the next few days.  Nothing too taxing but, we do have Tiger to watch this weekend.  Have a great week.

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