The days are blurring into each other, but this is a big one for your humble blogger. The great Bobby D. has been released into the general prison population, and today will be my first round with him. Of course, weather might prove to be a factor...
About Those Matches - You know that old saying, if you're gonna lay up, be sure to LAY UP!. Similarly, if you're gonna Big Foot the Big Cat, be sure to BIG FOOT the man.
PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla., (May 04, 2020) – The PGA TOUR, NBC Sports and Sky Sports today announced the return of televised golf with TaylorMade Driving Relief, centered around a $3 million charity skins match supported by UnitedHealth Group to raise money and awareness for the American Nurses Foundation and CDC Foundation, two organizations helping to lead COVID-19 relief efforts.
On Sunday, May 17, from Seminole Golf Club, TaylorMade Driving Relief will feature two-time FedExCup champion and World No. 1 Rory McIlroy and 20-time PGA TOUR winner Dustin Johnson, teaming up against two Oklahoma State University alumni: PGA TOUR superstar Rickie Fowler and 2019 first-time TOUR winner and 2019 NCAA National Champion Matthew Wolff. The competition will follow strict CDC social distancing guidelines, local mandates and will utilize appropriate testing measures to help protect the health and safety of the golfers, production crew and others on site.
The key word being.....Seminole.
Your humble blogger has had September 2021 circled on his calendar for some time, that being the date the USGA is taking the Walker Cup to the historical, never-seen Donald Ross classic. Ron Whitten, a man that knows a thing or two about golf architecture, explains why this rocks:
It might sound strange to describe a golf club with a crushed-rock parking lot as majestic, but Seminole Golf Club is that and more. Located hard against the Atlantic in Juno Beach, Fla., north of West Palm Beach, Seminole may well be the finest layout the legendary architect Donald Ross ever conceived. Currently ranked No. 12 on Golf Digest’s list of America’s 100 Greatest Golf Courses, it’s one of only a handful of courses that has made every published list since the rankings began in 1966. And it has never been out of the top 20.
Architecture experts marvel at Seminole’s compact yet complete routing. On a trapezoid of land of just 140 acres, Ross positioned his 18 so that golfers must contend with wind from a slightly different direction on nearly every shot. His remarkable layout lies on three levels. Closest to the seacoast is a lateral sand dune parallel to the beach, on which two greens (the 13th and 18th, the latter later added by Dick Wilson) and three tee complexes now rest. Inland is a wide, low basin, just a few feet above sea level, previously swampland that Ross’ crew drained and graded into eight holes now edged by palms, bunkers and lakes. On the far west edge of the site is a wide sand ridge some 40 feet higher than the basin. It contains three complete holes and the tees and greens for seven others. Its topography is reminiscent of Scotland’s Royal Dornoch, where Ross was born, raised and first took up the game.
Care for more detail? I thought you would:
Competitive players have long admired the subtle challenges of Seminole. Most fairways are comfortably wide, but deceptively so, because on windy days and when turf is firm and fast, drives can trundle off a fairway and into one of the more than 70 fairway bunkers or, on some holes, into a sandscape rough recently enhanced by the design team of Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw. The true test lies in shots onto the greens, putting surfaces that range from long and skinny to wide and shallow. Unless hole locations are toward the center, flag-hunting is risky, as the perimeters of most greens slope gently toward deep bunkers that frame most greens and encircle several. Once on the greens, most contours are imperceptible at first look and make for deceptive putts.
Any number of Seminole’s holes are classics of the craft. Crenshaw’s favorites are the sixth and 15th (above). No. 6 is a straightaway 390-yard par 4 that plays like a dogleg because of a diagonal string of bunkers that eat into the line of play from the right. The 15th is the second of back-to-back par 5s (a rarity for Ross) and features alternate fairways (also a rarity), a gambling right-hand route along a water hazard separated by bunkers and palms from the longer, safer left-hand one.
Seminole has long ranked high on my list of must-plays, for the simple reason that I'd like to understand whether South Florida golf can be made interesting.... I'm not a fan of sticky, hot weather grasses, and I find the lay there an endless succession of water, sand, rinse and repeat.... Of course, that's just me in insufferable purist mode. Your mileage might vary.
But wassup with that format? They've said two seemingly contradictory things, that it's DJ-Rory v. Rickie-Wolff, but also that it's a Skins game. Not sure how to square that circle, but that former pairing had been in the works for another venue:
If you're associated with the Zurich Classic, you might not want to read on. That's because in addition to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic canceling this year's event, italso kept the most star-studded tandem in the tournament's history from competing.
Rory McIlroy and Dustin Johnson will team up against Rickie Fowler and Matthew Wolf in the TaylorMade Driving Relief event May 17, but the two had apparently agreed to join forces first for the Zurich Classic. It just never happened.
Of course, this is far closer to standard operating procedure than folks will realize:
The pair of World No. 1s who have a combined 38 PGA Tour titles and five major championships between them shared this during an interview with NBC/Golf Channel's Mike Tirico on Tuesday. Tirico, by the way, will provide play-by-play for the TaylorMade event from his Michigan home.
Really? Governor Whitless will actually allow him to do that?
But I say it's close to normal because they can't actually see much, even from their towers. They're mostly just watching monitors like the rest of us...
That other match will follow a week later, and Gray Van Sickle seems very excited:
Proposition bets give Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson sequel a better-than-even chance of outperforming the original snoozefest
Even in this day of diminished expectations, "outperforming the original" is a low bar indeed.
But it's his admissions against interest that amuse most:
But because the first match, which paid Mickelson $9 million, was a total snoozefest,they’re trying to spice this one up by adding two Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks: the retired Peyton Manning as Woods’ partner and Tom Brady to team with Mickelson.
I don’t see how adding two jocks who can’t play dead at golf is going to add to the entertainment value. Manning can be funny on “Saturday Night Live” or in commercials when he has a script, but I don’t anticipate much in the way of ad-libs from him during the match. Brady rarely says anything interesting unless it’s not true.
Hmmm...as I recall, Gary is a Pittsburgh guy....Perhaps a little scar tissue revealed. But, as per Gary, these two additions can't be any worse than the original.
Gary goes on to cite a laundry list of prop bets, such as this:
Will any player say “Omaha”?: Yes +215; No -325. “Omaha” was the odd word Manning used when he called audibles at the line of scrimmage for the Denver Broncos. That word was trendy for a while, just like Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s brief use of “Dilly dilly!” but now it’s in the discarded pile of extinct pop-culture phrases that includes “Dy-no-mite!” and “I love you, man.” Which is why “No” is the heavy favorite.
Perhaps Gary needs to get out of the house more.... OK, strike that "perhaps".
About That Restart - Shack has a post up about the Tour's restart at Colonial, and it's chock full of howlers. First, I assume that everyone knows that Geoff is a SoCal boy, so his contempt for the Lone Star State is required by statute:
Five weeks from attempting to restart the 2019-20 PGA Tour season in Fort Worth, Texas, the state still requires a 14-day quarantine for travelers from California;Connecticut; New York; New Jersey; Washington; Atlanta, Georgia; Chicago, Illinois; Detroit, Michigan, and Miami, Florida. International travel quarantining is unclear.Logic would say the PGA Tour needs to have things buttoned up soon given that players coming from so many locations have just three weeks to get tested and then in place in Texas.
How about travelers from Wuhan?
More importantly, does anyone think these guys are going to self-quarantine for two weeks? Anyone, that is, besides Geoff? Obviously the plan is to create a bubble around the event, and to test everyone at the beginning of the week.
Adding to the situation in the Lone Star State, as Governor Greg Abbott reopens his state, he’s been heard on tape this week admitting that it’s “almost ipso facto” that reopening the state for business “will lead to an increase” in COVID-19 spread.
Welcome to the great state of Texas boys!
Geoff, you might want to turn off MSNBC. How can we be this dee into the crisis and have folks like Geoff still not understand that the number of cases is a red herring. It's actually a positive, but with hospitalizations and deaths on a significant downward arc, it's the only statistic available to the media to keep us in the fetal position.
Geoff links to this Brendon Todd interview, in which he discussed his understanding of the testing protocols and touches (heh) on issues of rakes and pins... But here's a snippet that I thought would excite our Shack:
It is unclear at this point if clubhouses or locker rooms will be open. Todd said the latter would not be a problem.
"You're talking to a guy who played 20 Monday qualifiers two years ago and probably 10 last year,'' he said. "I'm all too used to changing my shoes in the parking lot. Even when you play the Desert Classic in Palm Springs we have different courses, you're in a parking lot. As funny as that may sound, it's not that big of a deal.''
Pampered Tour pros changing shoes in the car park? I told you some good would come out of this....
Compare and contrast to Adam Hadwin, who doesn't know if he can bring himself to compete if they can't remove the pin...Not that that was remotely credible, but the whining over the conditions under which one plays for seven-figure purses is not a great look. I just pray there are cameras in the parking lot to watch the guys change shoes.
Geoff also links to this Ron Green, Jr. item from the Global Golf Post, the business end of which is this disturbing prediction:
Multiple leaders within the game believe some form of consolidation between the PGATour and the European Tour is coming. The European Tour needs it. The PGA Tour can benefit from it.It’s important for the PGA Tour, according to multiple sources, that the European Tour emerges intact from its current uncertainty. Different, but still here. At professional golf tours around the world, a forced reimagining is underway.Of immediate importance to the PGA Tour is getting through what will be at least a three-month suspension of tournament competition. Each week the tour sits idle, it costs the organization millions of dollars.
The Euro Tour is in a world of hurt, but the concept of it being controlled by the soul-crushing PGA Tour should disturb us all. There are precious few outlets for innovation in our calcified game, but the scrappy Pelleyites have been a welcome exception. And their social media game is top drawer.
But perhaps this should be taken with a large grain of salt. I can't tell whether Ron's nose is actually growing as he types this, located deep within the inner sanctum of Jay Monahan's anus:
Remind me, Ron, how many encores did the Chainsmokers play? If that's leadership, then I'm Genghis Khan.
Lastly, I'll link you to this point-counter-point:
Should the PGA Tour return without caddies?
Not gonna happen, and perhaps it really shouldn't happen. The Tour understandably has to be about elite golf at its best, otherwise there's really no point.
But, how great would be if one or both of those silly made-for-TV matches coming up featured players with pushcarts? Yanno. solidarity with how the masses are playing the game these days....A unique opportunity to shed our elitist image.
About That Golf Industry - The National Golf Foundation, an organization whose purpose has long eluded many of us, has seized an opportunity and is the source on the current state of play. This graphic shows progress indeed:
Let my people go!
This includes some well-known properties:
Bandon Dunes, Pebble Beach announce their re-opening, with most courses projected to be opened by mid-May
As for why they were closed in the first place? I can only remind you that Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia.
Alan Shipnuck milk his first round at Pebble for a column, with a Journalism 101 lede:
PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. — At first blush, Monday felt like any other day around Pebble Beach Golf Links — the staff was gracious and welcoming, the emerald golf course perfectly manicured, the ocean glittering. But the first sign of the times was tucked into the plastic bag that every golfer received upon check-in: along with a snazzy metal bag tag and logo’d pencil there was a baby-blue facemask.
With a Pebble logo one presumes.
This is the new normal, and even Pebble Beach is not immune. On Monday, play finally resumed on America’s grandest golf course, after six weeks of eerie emptiness. This was cause for both celebration and concern. The masked-and-gloved staff was a stark reminder that there would be no respite from the changes that Covid has wrought. The practice putting green and pro shop are closed (payment has to be done electronically in advance), rakes removed from the golf course, and flagsticks remain in at all times, with an attached pool-noodle recessed into the cups. Carts cannot be shared, making the most social of games less so. Masks are encouraged whilst milling around the first tee or placing an order at the halfway house but otherwise it’s okay not to wear them.
A pool noodle? Surely you jest:
OK, I'll stop calling you Shirley...
In case you were worried as to how Alan played:
Fatigued? Try coming to our yard and we'll see how rubbery your legs get on the Khyber Pass Hole.
Ireland will apparently reopen on May 18th, and we got news today from Elsie and John that the UK might open next month (!) for golf, fishing and tennis (with gloves on, whatever that means). Adam Hadwin won't play with flagsticks in, and your humble blogger draws the line at requiring me to putt with even one glove on.
The only politician that I'm aware has explained the ban on golf was NY Governor Andrew Cuomo. Il Duce explained that golf was undermining their "messaging"....You might expect me to respond to that snarkily, but it makes every bit as much sense as responding to a pandemic by quarantining the healthy....
But this is officially my new hero:
Report: Massachusetts golf course owner plans to open two courses in defiance of banViva La Resistance!
About That Blimp - This is an amusing bit:
Can you name golf's most famous courses from these satellite images? Take our quiz
A bunch are child's play, though a few will challenge you. I'll just share this one, mostly because of confirmation bias. To wit, it confirms one of my repetitive rants:
Anyone get it? This is TPC Scottsdale, the renovation of which seemed highly misguided for many reasons, including the laughable replicas of the Coffin and Church Pew bunkers. But for years I've also been on Weiskopf for his choice of blindingly white sand in the bunkers, and I might have even noted that they were visible from low Earth orbit... Note the contrast with the naturally sandy areas....Just don't get it.
About Those Long Reads - As always, we're here for you, first with this timeless feature:
Quite possibly the rudest club in the world?
From the archive (July 1992): Want to play Muirfield? Be prepared to grovel
Possibly? More like a Lifetime Achievement Award... Here's a brief precis of their qualifications:
—The Prince of Wales, more famous later at the Duke of Windsor, once tried to play at Muirfield and was denied.
—Newly crowned U.S. Open champion Payne Stewart, in Great Britain to prepare for playing in the British Open, was denied permission to play because the course wasalready too crowded with members. Stewart played the nearby No. 1 course in Gullane, and from the seventh tee, he could look down and see Muirfield. It was flat empty.
—Tom Watson, winner of the 1980 British Open at Muirfield, was thrown off the same grounds where he had secured the third of his five British Open victories a few hours earlier. The reason: Braced with a celebratory drink, he was flailing at a ball with an old wood-shafted club. Chucked along with Watson were Ben Crenshaw, Tom Weiskopf and their wives.
—The women of the American Curtis Cup team were denied use of the facilities at Muirfield and were told to use the bathroom at a nearby hotel.
—Years later, a woman was thrown out of the dining room at the same hotel because Muirfield was using it as a temporary clubhouse, and the Muirfield dining room is for men only.
—The Edinburgh Press Club had a small golf outing, but when a few of their members failed to appear for the dinner afterward, the group was told not to come back again.
Other worthy contenders would include Royal County Down and Swinley Forest, but The Honourable Company has long since retired the Champions Belt. Fact is, they've been this way since 1744, and old habits die hard.
Ever hear of the Fat Man?
Martin “The Fat Man” Stanovich didn’t look like he could play a lick.
He was squatty, with a barrel chest, a bulging belly and dray-horse thighs.He looked so unathletic, and so did his unorthodox swing.
“It certainly wasn’t a swing you wanted to copy,” the late Ken Venturi once told this writer. “It was a crazy swing, and I don’t think you’ll ever see a swing like it again.”Stanovich lunged at the ball like a man trying to kill a cockroach with a crowbar. That’s how author Tom LeCompte described the Fat Man’s swing in his biography of Bobby Riggs.
You've probably not heard of him, for the soundest of reasons:
“My dad considered himself a gambler, not a hustler,” says his son, Martin Stanovich Jr., who still lives in South Florida, as does his brother, Paul. “He loved to gamble.”
That’s why the Fat Man never tried to play the PGA Tour. He told his sons he didn’t want to take a pay cut. An average PGA Tour pro was lucky to make $20,000 in a year in Tour winnings in the ’50s. Stanovich told his boys he could make that in a good week on his own.
This is a portal back to a different world.
Catch y'all down the road.
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