Thursday Threads

Time is short, so just a few bits for y'all to gnaw upon....

Tanned, Rested & Ready - Yesterday I had this silly bit on golf mementos, and decided to go with Tiger and AK over a certain Aussie's Honolulu bar tab.  I know, but we all make foolish decisions in the heat of the moment.

But prayers are occasionally answered by our Great and Merciful God:

One month out from the Australian Open, Robert Allenby says he's on the cusp of a career renaissance after fending off legitimate intentions of retiring from golf this year.

His lines remain perfect.

The 46-year-old tees it up at this week's Sanderson Farms event on the US PGA Tour for his first tournament in almost two months. 

But the Victorian says he's glad to be playing at all after his most serious thoughts of quitting the regular men's tours. 

"I've been contemplating retiring a little bit. Slowing it down, maybe," Allenby said.

"I was thinking I'd take a couple years off (and) get ready for the Champions Tour at (age) 50. 

"But when golf has been your whole life, it's hard to stop."

Run, Forest, run!

It's certainly not his fault that he was abducted by aliens and left battered and bruised on that Honolulu street corner....  That kind of thing can happen to anyone.

That's a Thing Now? - We built a few too many golf courses, so I get that they have to be repurposed.  But who knew?

Agri-hoods are a hot trend. There are about 150 so-called farm-to-fork neighborhoods

around the U.S., says Ed McMahon, a senior resident fellow at the Urban Land Institute. They’re as close as Rancho Mission Viejo in Orange County and The Cannery in Davis near Sacramento, and as far-flung as Serenbe in Chattahoochee Hills, Ga.; Willowsford in the rolling hills of Loudoun County, Va., and Kukui’ula in Hawaii, where Kaua’i residents can harvest guava, papaya and pineapples. 

“It’s a concept whose time has come,” said Paul Habibi, professor of real estate at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management. “We’re increasingly looking to sustainability as an important objective in real estate development.”

Agri-hoods?   But this may be my favorite bit:

The Olive Oil Times, which touts itself as “the world’s No. 1 source for the latest olive oil news,” recently devoted a spread to the planned olive oasis. “Golf courses require a lot of water to stay lush and playable,” the story noted.

The Olive Oil Times?  That's some serious targeting..... Though amusingly we have good frineds in that very business.  They import oil made from their family property in Greece, and it's awfully good.

We'll Need Names - DJ was asked about the shot clock to be used on the Euro Tour, and he's in favor:

The European tour will debut the Shot Clock Masters in Austria next year in hopes of speeding up the pace of play, but will a shot clock come to the PGA Tour anytime soon? 

World No. 1 Dustin Johnson is all for it. 

"Yeah, absolutely," he said on Wednesday, prior to the WGC-HSBC Champions in Shanghai, when asked if he would like to see a shot clock on the PGA Tour. "I think it would be very interesting. You'd see a lot of guys getting penalties on our Tour. Yeah, that would be quite fun, actually. I'd have plenty of time but there's a lot of guys that wouldn't. They would be getting a penalty on every hole."

 Every hole?  Even though they're leaving their balls unmarked because that would slow down play?

I'm more confident than DJ in mankind's ability to continue to adapt....  And if I'm wrong, Ben Crane's career is a small price to pay...

Alan, Asked - Mostly about Tiger, unfortunately.  From this week's mailbag:

"Over/under that 80% of the questions here will be Big Cat related? #askalan” -Jackson (@BiggieSchmahlz) 

Take the under, but just.

See what I mean? 

"How many times have you watched Tiger hit the stinger?" -Steve (@_SMisner) 

Five or six. That's about average, right? It's an intriguing swing, but what made the post so epic was how out-of-character it was. Tiger has no game on social media so to drop it in slo-mo, with a jaunty hashtag, well, no wonder the Internet melted.

OK, he's got a point about the jauntiness and slow-mo, but perhaps he's just toying with our emotions?

"In Dec '15 a buddy bet me $1K that Tiger would win on Tour in the next two years. I took the bet. After his latest video am I safe ? #AskAlan” -Rob (@robsausa) 

Put it this way: If I were you, I would proceed directly to the nearest champagne room.

That sound you hear is the fat lady warming her pipes....

"You get to pick Tiger's pre-Masters schedule. Assuming he's healthy enough, what events do you tell him to play?” -@Tildaddy 

That's a massive assumption, but I'll play along. If he can piece together a workable swing, the biggest challenge for Tiger is going to be scraping together some confidence, given the on-course horrors he's lived through over the last three years. So I'd go heavy on places where he has good memories: Torrey, Pebble, Riv. He needs another start ahead of Bay Hill, so why not a goodwill journey to Puerto Rico, if, in fact, that tournament goes forward. And I'd like to see him play Houston the week before the Masters—tournament reps are the most important thing right now.

OK, here's where our paths part.  I think Torrey and the West Coast swing (perhaps excluding Phoenix) are bad news because of the cold mornings.   But I like his PR thought, though I'd also like it if he dropped in on a warm weather Web.com event as well.

This guy needs to get a life for sure:

"Would Sergio putting the green jacket on Tiger be the greatest "trophy” ceremony of all time? -Matt (@M_Sand09) 

Well, given their twisted history, I'm actually thinking it might be a little awkward. But, were Tiger to win the Masters, it would be the greatest achievement in sports history. I mean, think how far he's fallen—all the surgeries, the public humiliations, the awful golf he's played since 2013…if he were to win the Puerto Rico Open at 41 it would be a crowning achievement. To win the Masters a decade removed from his last major championship triumph and do it as an average-length hitter with a deteriorating putting stroke and the chip yips lurking, well, that would be absolutely mind-boggling.

A little awkward?  But Tiger had to put the jacket on Phil in '06, and he survived.  sergio will put the jacket on somebody, but it's madness to think Tiger will be the one.

More Tiger:

"If Tiger never really makes any sort of comeback what role could he play going forward for the greatest benefit of the game? #askalan” -@wordofmouth_tv 

For the game, or humanity? I recently read that opioid overdoses have now surpassed car accidents as a cause of death in this country. The victims are mostly nameless and faceless. What if Tiger made this his signature cause, and used his considerable influence and energy and charisma to advocate for change? He's been to the precipice and stared into the void. He knows what havoc can be wrought by painkillers and prescription meds. Who better to talk honestly and openly about it? Obviously this would take Tiger out of his comfort zone, but that's how you know it's a good idea. Otherwise, he's just gonna keep building fancy golf courses and hanging out at Cups, which is of marginal help to the sport.

That's a good thought from Alan, but as I hinted at above, on a smaller scale I'd like to see him use his comeback to spread some goodwill within the game.  In that manner, if his play disappoints it'll be less....well, disappointing.  I know, you may call me a dreamer....

Will Tiger play in the Hero?” -Todd (@scottbrown198) 

Gawd, you people won't quit. My answer is, I hope not. A few weeks ago he was practically on bedrest. Why rush back to play, and potentially shatter what little confidence he has left? Of course, judging by this #AskAlan, there remains an insane amount of interest in the guy. So, selfishly, maybe Tiger should play, because that will certainly liven up the holiday season.

I assume Alan's reaction is to the timing, because it's actually not a bad set-up for him....  No early morning tee times and easy to make a bunch of birdies, as we saw a year ago.  

On non-Big Cat queries, there was this:

"As a fan, not a writer, do you care about the Fall Series?” -@tildaddy

I care more as a fan than a writer. It's nice to have some golf to watch whilst plopped on my couch, and I enjoy the live night-time action from Asia. But the tournaments are largely meaningless, and this lack of dramatic tension means they hold no appeal to write about.

I think he missed the correct answer, which is that the old Fall Finish was of greater interest.  Lesser names for sure, but playing for their careers and status, and that's far more compelling.

And lastly, this curiosity:

"Besides your published books, what is required reading for golf fiction? Top 5?” -Todd (@Titleist_TB) 

Solid brown-nosing! My five: 

1. Dead Solid Perfect, by Dan Jenkins

2. Golf in the Kingdom, by Michael Murphy

3. The Match, by Mark Frost

4. Missing Links, by Rick Reilly

5. Tommy's Honor, by Kevin Cook

Alan, what part of fiction do you not get?

Sorry folks, but gotta get on with my day....