Tiger, The Hangover

What to lede with today?  Give me a moment, I'll come up with something.

Regrets, I've had a few....  Including yesterday's post, in which I got TMZ'd.  More on that in a bit, first let's cover some of the more basic facts:

The report of Woods's Memorial Day DUI arrest was released by the Jupiter Police Department Tuesday, and it details an alarmingly dangerous string of events for Woods,

who last played professional golf in February. 

According to the report, Officer Palladino saw Woods's black Mercedes stopped in the right lane with the vehicle running, brake lights on and right blinker flashing at 4:22 a.m. The officer reported that Woods was alone in the car, had his seat belt on and was found asleep at the wheel. 

"Woods had extremely slow and slurred speech," according to the report, which listed Woods's attitude as "sluggish, sleepy, unable to walk alone."

So, the reports of the car bobbing and weaving were inaccurate, did they get anything else wrong?

Woods, 41, blew a 0.000 in two breathalyzer tests. He said in his statement Monday night that alcohol was not a factor, instead that it was "an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications." According to the report, Woods said he was taking Solarex, Vicodin, Torix and Vioxx (but that Vioxx hadn't been taken this year). 

Woods told the officer he was "coming from LA California from golfing" and that he "did not know where he was. Woods had changed his story of where he was going and where he was coming from. Woods asked how far from his house he was."

He blew a 0.0000?  I just have to think that there's a better way of expressing that....

But, credit where do, his statement appears to substantively accurate, at least as far as the absence of alcohol and his cooperation with the police are concerned, and those are not small things in the present instance.

This TMZ timeline of inaccurate reports is pretty damn funny, or it would be if they had any self-awareness.  Here's the first entry:

5/30 -- Contrary to what law enforcement sources told us Monday, according to the police report Tiger did not have alcohol in his system and did not refuse a breathalyzer. He also was found stopped on the side of the road and not weaving. 

And, according to the police report, Tiger was cooperative.

Other than that, you really nailed the story.... But did that same "law enforcement source" give you this little tidbit as well:

1:00 PM PT -- We've learned Tiger's girlfriend, Kristin Smith, learned about the arrest while shopping at a Neiman Marcus store in Dallas. Someone called her and, according to several eyewitnesses, "she went crazy" and said "I knew it, I knew it." We're told she began crying, then bought $5k worth of merchandise and left.

She was just upset that he didn't use his one phone call to check in with her.....

This guy seems to be barking up the wrong tree:

Woods does not appear interested in a legal battle over the incident. In his statement, Woods writes, "I understand the severity of what I did and I take full responsibility for my actions." Although this statement does not constitute an express admission to breaking the law, it signals that Woods accepts blame.

If Woods still elected to defend himself from the DUI charge, he could invoke several types of defenses. For instance, Woods might contend that his performance in the field sobriety test was far better than is depicted in the police report and that the police lacked probable cause to charge him. He could also stress that his car was stopped the whole time while it was in the view of police officers. Although the car engine was running, Woods might argue the car was not going anywhere while he was impaired.

More likely, Woods, who is scheduled to appear in court on July 5, will work out a plea deal with prosecutors. In such a deal, Woods would plead guilty or no contest to a lesser charge, such as reckless driving. Under Florida law, a first time conviction for DUI can lead to several kinds of penalties, including: loss of a driver's license for 180 days to a 1 year; a fine of $1,000; probation of up to a year; 50 hours of community service; and an ignition interlock device installed in any car driven by the defendant. Penalties for reckless driving are similar, though less severe.

Not a lot of folks have thought that Tiger would do a perp walk....  

Even this is a secondary issue:

HOW THE DUI MATTER COULD IMPACT WOODS'S ENDORSEMENT DEALS AND MORALS CLAUSES

Woods's incentive to direct publication attention away from the incident as quickly as possible relates to his endorsement deals. As Woods knows from the aftermath of his 2009-10 marital infidelity scandal, companies with which he signs endorsement deals can likely exit those deals upon a finding he engaged in "immoral" conduct. Indeed, endorsement deals normally contain "morals clauses," which authorize the endorsed company to cut ties with the endorsing athlete if that athlete brings himself/herself or the company into public disrepute. Morals clauses are normally worded in vague verbiage that supplies the company with wide discretion. Back in 2009-10, Woods lost millions of dollars in endorsement deals with several companies, including AT&T and Accenture, due to public outcry over his cheating on his then-wife, Elin Nordegren.

The author covers this issue competently, explaining the typically-vague nature of morals clauses in such contracts.  He does tease us with the image of dash-cam video being released, but let's agree that monetary issues are secondary at this moment....  

Rex Hoggard assesses the state of the matter as follows:

Only time and an ongoing police investigation will tell if Woods’ version of the events on Monday dovetail with reality, but the mountain of evidence released on Tuesday suggests that Woods made a mistake – a terrible mistake, but a mistake, nonetheless. And not only did he do so, but in a complete break from the norm it appears he has owned that miscue, no excuses, no qualifiers, no subterfuge. 

“I understand the severity of what I did and take full responsibility for my actions,” Woods said in a statement. “What happened was an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications. I didn't realize the mix of medications had affected me so strongly.”

No doubt it is to Tiger's credit that the critical facts in his post-incident statement are proving accurate, but it's awfully early to credit him with taking full responsibility based only on that one statement.

Ian O'Connor files this mostly off-putting piece, though he looks hard for a silver lining:

No, the Tiger Woods you met in that Jupiter, Florida, police report is not the Tiger Woods 

presented to you by Tiger, his sponsors and his reps. That Woods was a new and improved human being since his extramarital sex scandal from hell, a better father and friend, with or without golf in his life. 

This Woods was found asleep in his damaged Mercedes in the dead of night, with his brake lights on, his right blinker flashing, his bumpers banged up, and his two driver-side tires flat. He could have accidentally killed himself. He could have accidentally killed a perfectly innocent motorist or pedestrian who happened to be on the wrong street at the wrong time. 

The good news? Woods had his seat belt fastened. The bad news? He was lost in every literal and figurative way.

Good news indeed....  Though the condition of the car remains one of the unexplained aspects of the story, as well as his movements for the evening.  Everyone has assumed that he was at his restaurant, though I've not seen that confirmed, and anyone he was with would seem to have some 'splainin' to do about letting him get behind the wheel.

O'Connor pays lip service to the issue of the man's children, but this is how he closes:

But we all get into the business of watching and caring about sports for a simple reason: We want to see athletes do things physically that were once thought impossible. Their warmth and generosity of spirit along the way is merely a bonus, not a prerequisite. 

So yeah, I'd like to see Woods find his way home sooner rather than later. So what if he has spent most of his career as a taker instead of a giver. I just want to fully appreciate the artist at work one last time, in one last tournament, on one last Sunday.

Any volunteers to break the news to Ian that it's not about him?  The judges give that one a perfect ten for tone deafness....  

We've all heard of emergency golf lessons and I've played many an emergency nine in my day, but this must truly be end days for Golf.com to convene an emergency Tour Confidential panel midweek.  Opening query: the most alarming part of the story:

Michael Bamberger: I think the most disturbing aspect of the story is what it could mean for his future as a father. There are courts that would restrict his ability to be with his children in an unsupervised setting with a DUI conviction. I don't know a thing about Tiger's private life but it's obvious that being a father to his children is his highest priority now. He slipped. He has to figure out for himself how and why. Being a public person will only make it harder.

I credit Mike for looking at the bigger picture, though I'm skeptical that this is actually that major an issue.  He might have to hire a driver for sure, but if he's half the father he presents himself to be this will work out.

To me, this from the excerpt above is the shocker:

According to the report, Woods said he was taking Solarex, Vicodin, Torix and Vioxx (but that Vioxx hadn't been taken this year).

For a man who told us a mere week ago that he's pain-free, that's quite the tasting menu....

The gang is then asked to compare this with 2009:

Shipnuck: Well, that was the biggest sex scandal in the Internet age, driven not only by the endless salacious details but also the sheer shock of how different the real Woods was from his public image. Nobody is shocked now. Really, the overriding emotion is sadness.

Bamberger: No sentient person could have any sense of schadenfreude for what he is enduring now. In 2009, many mean-spirited people did.

I don'y have any strong quibbles with these answers, though I should confess that I chose these two answers because the arc of Tiger's life has continued to track their roman a clef.  For those like Ian O'Connor desperately hoping for a happy ending, the book ends with a successful comeback.

But while we all had fun with the stream of prurient details from his sex scandal, it showed us man pretty hollow at the core, and one not terribly consumed by fatherhood.  Not a pretty picture for sure, and we hope the more recent image is also the more accurate.  The guys take a quick shot at the future of Tiger Woods, professional golfer:

Sens: Right. The injuries and surgeries are just part of Tiger's tangle of problems. His decline has always seemed almost as much psychological as physical, and this is a new low. But maybe it will be the bottoming-out moment the experts talk about. The point that pushes him toward the positive change he needs. 

Ritter: There is absolutely no way the DUI helps him on the course. But if this episode forces Woods to face a problem he may be battling, that would be the one silver lining.

Given how far removed he currently is from golf-related activities, that seems like a very secondary problem.  In an earlier piece, Mike Bamberger might have hit on a more pressing issue:

Every chance he gets, Woods talks about the role he plays in his the life of his son and daughter and what it means to him. It's moving and telling. But few 41-year-old men want to be a fulltime dad and nothing else. Woods used to have golf to fill his time, to give him drive, to let him exercise his vast competitive urge. For now, anyway, he doesn't. Still, the time must be filled. Tiger Woods faces the challenge we all do: how to fill that time productively. The answer to that difficult question for him now seems more pressing.

Call of Duty?  We've seen many a professional athlete stumble when their playing days have ended, though golf, because of the longer playing careers and senior tour, has been somewhat immune from this phenomenon.

I've been accused of hating Tiger, which is actually quite far from the truth.  I've never been the biggest fan of Tiger the man, but like just about all I was a huge fan of Tiger the golfer.  But back in the day, Tiger the man wasn't of great importance to golf fans.... 

I've not like the Tiger of the last few years much, though, as readers of this blog might have noticed.  The complete lack of candor about his physical condition and the abuse of sponsors and tournament organizers has, in my opinion, been self-destructive and unnecessary.  I got it when he was bestriding the planet, but I've found his attempts to be one of the guys unconvincing....

Let's give him time and see how he deals with what appears to be an abuse of prescription meds....  I'd be encouraged if he cleaned house of the sycophants surrounding him, and some honesty about his use of painkillers would be refreshing.  I could even find my way to some excitement about a 2018 comeback, but show us some character in the near-term please.  If only for the children....