Friday Frisson

Unplayable Lies management generously gave me Thursday off, so I hope that your Thursday was enjoyable despite the absence of my typically trenchant observations.  You say because of, I say despite, but let's not quibble....

Ladies Daze - The fair sex, on an unusual Wednesday-Saturday schedule, have the stage, and they're hamming it up.  More on that in a bit, but first the game story:

American Stacy Lewis hasn’t won in more than two years, a winless streak in a position to fall by virtue of the eight-under par 63 she shot in the second round of the women’s Olympic golf competition on Thursday. 

Lewis completed 36 holes on the Olympic Golf Course in Rio de Janeiro at nine-under par 133 and trails leader Inbee Park of Korea by a stroke. Two strokes back of Park are Great Britain’s Charley Hull and Canadian Brooke Henderson.

Except for the absence of Lydia, that's about as strong a leaderboard as one could imagine.  And first round leader Ariya Jutanagarn is only four back.

Loyal readers will recall that I've been forced to take the recently-married Lewis to the woodshed on more than one occasion recently, mostly for excessive whining.  It's therefore nice to see her go low, but perhaps more importantly demonstrate that she hasn't lost her sense of humor:

Unfortunately, her outfit had people thinking more about bronzer than bronze. 

Lewis wore a tank top during her red-hot round, which showed off quite the golfer's tan.

Afterward, Lewis was asked about her play -- as well as her not-so-subtle tan lines. 

"I never wear sleeveless," a laughing Lewis said. "And I won't wear sleeveless again."

Well played, young lady.  Here's what triggered the discussion:

Good call, Stace....But if it makes you feel any better, this is yet another example of how the women aren't up to the standards of the men (that's a reference to her whining above).  Submitted for your approval is Stewart Cink's is Stewart Cink's bad golf tan:

Sleeves aren't gonna help him much....

But the talk of the event thus far is the dreadfully slow play of the ladies, with Shack filling in the details:

The opening round of Olympic women’s golf did not get off to the most energizing start.

The final group of Lydia Ko, Anna Nordqvist and Charley Hull took five hours, 35 minutes on a sunny, warm and breezy day. That’s about 30 minutes longer than the males took a week ago. 

In defense of the women, who averaged 71.8 in the first round compared to the men’s opening day 70.7 one week ago, they are playing a course that was noticeably faster and firmer than when the men’s competition started. The increased speed is not an intentional ploy, but instead a byproduct of daily tournament mowings and rollings of the greens. Couple that with fairways that are firming and speeding up thanks to daily cuttings during warm, dry days, and the course has more teeth.

Still, Stacy Lewis was left perplexed at the tepid pace. 

“I don't know why it took so long,” she said after an opening 70. “It's a lot of golf course to walk and takes some time, but I didn't expect it to be that slow.”

That's pretty darn dreadful....  Apparently pace of play improved yesterday, though we did have a first for the host country:

Well done to the International Golf Federation for having the guts to hand out a slow-

play penalty to Victoria Lovelady in the second round of the Olympic women’s golf competition. Let’s hope other bodies take notice. 

Lovelady became the first player in the Olympic Games to be penalized for slow play when she was assessed a one-shot penalty on the 15th hole during the second round of the first Olympic women’s golf tournament in 116 years. 

Lovelady, playing in the company of Tiffany Chan of Hong Kong and Swiss amateur Fabienne In-Albon, already had been warned for wasting time on the 10th hole. She was adjudged to have picked up a second bad time for taking too long on the par-4 15th, turning what should have been a par into a bogey.

Let's deal with the most important issues first.... Is Victoria Lovelady a great name, or what?

I'm glad to see them on the case though, as Shack notes, she must have been REALLY slow to make a rules official tag her.  But as we've discussed way too often, the only thing that will get the attention of our pampered tortoises is penalty strokes.

The alliteratively-named Aditi Ashok has been getting lots of airtime on Golf Channel, and it's a pretty good story:

Her name, which means “boundless,” is appropriate given her eagerness to learn and desire to improve. 

“Golf every day is different,” she said. “You never hit the same show twice. So every day is a new experience, and you can’t really come with any expectations. The game is bigger than all of us, so that’s what I like about it.” 

Four years ago her mother, a former radio disk jockey, realized there was a chance Aditi could qualify for the Olympics, so they focused their energies and schedule toward that.

She took up golf because her family had a meal next to a driving range, which reminds me of Employee No. 2's introduction to our game.  But what to make of this?

This week, Aditi and her mother have Skyped every night. Their conversations last about an hour.

“Sometimes we’re both talking,” she said, “and then we can’t hear each other.”

Funny, she doesn't look Jewish.

Math Is Hard -  This exchange between Tom Watson and looper Neil Oxman from last week's Senior Open at Scioto is just priceless:

I love the old traditions of stepping off yardage from sprinkler heads as much as the next guy, but would it be so terrible if we let them use rangefinders?  Especially when we're hoping they'll get themselves around the course a little more quickly....

I Should Have Gotten It A Card - In honor of its twentieth anniversary, Tin Cup has been taking something of a victory lap.  I've always considered it a poor man's Bull Durham, the common thread being Ron Shelton and Kevin Costner.  Though perhaps that's because Renee Russo never did it for me like Susan Sarandon can....

But there's little doubt that it carved out a place in the golfing zeitgeist.... in fact, we had our own little Tin Cup moment on Monday at Glen Oaks.  Never one to pass up an opportunity to have fun with our game, Alex Myers lists the five most authentic golf moments in the film, as well as the five least.

Shall we start with the former?

4. Players staying in motor homes during tournaments.This was a big part of McAvoy's rags-to-riches persona, but there are big-name golfers like Jason Day and Jimmy Walker who do the same thing on a regular basis. Of course, they also have professional drivers and they don't share the space with Cheech Marin.

OK, and the winner is....Hmmm, how topical:

1. A player firing his caddie mid-round. (Cough) Robert Allenby. (Cough)

But of course, with any work of fiction there are inevitably going to be some parts that ring hollow. Our list of the movie's five-most unrealistic moments:

And the least?

1. Spinning back a 3-wood. Again, the movie took things a step (or two) too far. It wasn't enough that Tin Cup foolishly went for the closing par 5 in two seven times, knocking six in a pond ("A little gust from the gods") before miraculously holing a seventh attempt for a mythical 12. No, they had to have McAvoy hole the shot by spinning back a 3-wood into the cup. Guys, it's called physics.

Let's go to the videotape:

Did I mention that I love having Frank Chirkinian in the film?  Especially now that we've lost him.

But Alex, a list of the least authentic moments in the film has to start with Kevin Costner's golf swing, no?

Elsewhere, Alex provides a Phil story from the set:

But this one, courtesy of Golf Magazine's terrific oral history of "Tin Cup," takes the cake. It occurred during the filming of the movie, which turns 20 August 16. Here's Cheech Marin, who played Kevin Costner's caddie in the classic golf flick, describing what happened: 

"We were between scenes, standing around, and someone came up with a bet," Marin said. "There was this really tall pine tree, and someone said to Phil Mickelson, ‘I bet you can't put your shoulder against the tree, drop a ball and hit it over the tree.' The shot basically had to go straight up. Everybody threw in a hundred bucks. I think there was $1,200 in the pot. And he did it! When the ball was still in the air, Mickelson bent over, picked up the money, and put it in his pocket." 

This story has three fantastic elements to it. 1.) The shot -- It sounds remarkable, if not impossible; 2.) The size of the pot -- 12 people threw in $100 in cash?! 3.) The reaction -- Can you be any cockier?

That's our Phil.

Cheap Shots - In which we scan recent headlines to snark at:

How long is that in dog years? - REMINDER: Just a year ago, Tiger Woods was still doing awesome things on the golf course

His shoulders must be awfully tired - VIDEO: Retired fire marshal holds man at gunpoint over stolen golf clubs

No, didn't hurt me a bit - This failed trick shot looks like it hurt...

I don't think you're using the word 'drama" correctly - FedEx Points Bring Drama to Wyndham Championship