Friday Frisson

Shall we clear the decks before heading into a golf-filled weekend?  I thought you'd say so....

Rio Loco, An Ongoing Series - Matthew Rudy has been to Rio, and it's shockingly not ready for its close-up:

It's dangerous to walk around. The water is essentially untreated sewage. The threat from 

Zika is small but real. Brazil is in the middle of its worst economic downturn in 30 years, and the people just impeached their president for corruption. 

But, hey, the exchange rate is terrific. And the golf course? A work of art, transformed from a swampy waste pit by a hundred determined workers trained from scratch by superintendent Neil Cleverly. 

It will look amazing on television. Stay home and watch.

Now you've done it, pal, you can kiss that Peter Dawson Christmas card goodbye....

Most damning to this reader is that he basically sweeps away the "Z" word, yet still feels compelled to warn us off:

The Zika virus has been the most popular "scary Rio" story leading up to the Olympics—and it's certainly something to be cautious about. But you can buy 100-percent DEET bug spray (thank you, Bass Pro Shops) and lay off most of that risk. 

It's the less-sexy "scary Rio" stories—traffic, infrastructure, street crime (serious and petty)—that could make it a nightmare for anybody who decides to visit in August.

Though he admits that the games will likely be visually stunning as per the photos included.  But as for those assurances about Zika.... well, we're really not a moment in time where our governing institutions have earned our trust, are we?  So, how to react to this letter from 200 doctors recommending the cancellation or relocation of the games:

It is indisputable that holding the Games as scheduled has a greater risk of accelerating the spread of the Brazilian viral strain than the alternatives. Postponing and/or moving the Games also mitigates other risks brought on by historic turbulence in Brazil’s economy, governance, and society at large—which are not isolated problems, but context that makes the Zika problem all but impossible to solve with the Games fast approaching. 

We are concerned that WHO is rejecting these alternatives because of a conflict of interest. Specifically, WHO entered into an official partnership with the International Olympic Committee, in a Memorandum of Understanding that remains secret.18 There is no good reason for WHO not to disclose this Memorandum of Understanding, as is standard practice for conflicts of interest. Not doing so casts doubt on WHO’s neutrality, for reasons described further in the Appendix.

This political writer, from whom I found out about the letter (nary a word of it in the golf press), captures my reaction to the letter:

Most of the doctors signing the petition are medical school professors, infectious disease researchers, molecular biologists — the sort of people who would seem to know a thing or two about the potential risks of Zika. The heightened risk seems common sense; in August, more then 10,500 athletes and their coaches and trainers will come to Rio; separately, about a half million foreign tourists are expected to fly into Rio… exposing themselves to Zika-carrying mosquitos for a few days or weeks, then flying back to their home countries. if you were trying to expose as many people as possible, you would probably come up with a plan like this. 

Dr. João Grangeiro, Rio 2016’s chief medical officer, told a news conference that “the incidence of the mosquito that transmits the virus is extremely low in August and September, which is winter in Brazil and the period in which the Rio 2016 Games will take place.” Better hope there’s no heat wave. 

If the doctors affiliated with the Olympic organizers say the risk of infection to athletes and visitors is low, but the doctors not affiliated with the Olympics say the risk is significant… who do you trust?

Who ya gonna call trust?

Fox, Hen House - Fox held it's obligatory pre-Open conference call and Joe Buck went passive aggressive on us:

Buck, on the other hand, lived through it and said he “has never been more proud of an

event that we’ve covered at Fox.” The network, in his mind, tackled a new sport, one of the most difficult to produce because of its massive playing field, got through it and learned from the experience.

“I refuse to come on here and apologize for 2015,” Buck said. “That’s ridiculous. The critics were unkind; that’s not a news flash. That’s the way of the world. When you start, you’ve got to earn your position, and until you’ve done it, you have no idea what it takes to do that. . . . 

“Whatever we did in 2015 will be markedly better in 2016.”

Let's not mince words here, the reason the critics were so brutal is that the Fox crew, especially Norman but including Joe, were so full of themselves.  So while I'm not looking for an apology for the broadcast quality, it would be nice if he could recognize that his own cockiness was off-putting....

That said, I have a fair amount of sympathy for the undertaking, especially given last year's talent deficit in the both and on course as well as te uniquely challenging venue....Before our deep dive into Joe Buck's id, there was this detail on Fox's technological plans:

Oakmont’s greens inevitably will be a major story, just as they are whenever the USGA brings an event to the suburban Pittsburgh course (No. 6, Golfweek’s Best Classic Courses). Fox will use a graphic that shades greens to illustrate the slopes. 

“We will tell a really good story with the greens and the shading technology,” said Mark Loomis, Fox’s coordinating producer. “And I think Fox always has done such a good job with the audio.” 

One area where Fox excelled in its first year was in picking up on-course audio of players and caddies. At Oakmont, Fox will have microphones on all 18 holes to capture audio on the greens. 

Protracer will be set up on 13 tee boxes, and Loomis plans to use it whenever possible. Trackman technology will be on holes 4 and 12 to capture data on clubhead speed, ball speed, launch angle, spin rate and carry figures. New this year are radio-frequency mobile rangefinders to provide yardages and tracers for approach shots.

That's all good stuff, I only wish Billy Payne were reading along with us....  I think Azinger will be a major upgrade over Norman, though they'll need some time to get comfortable with each other.  But while Scott the blogger loves having Fox to dump on, Scott the golf fan has to watch them for the next eleven U.S. Opens, so we want this to work.

For those that have a few minutes and watch lots of televised sports, you'll want to read this longish Bryan Curtis profile of Buck.  Here's a sample, but no excerpt can do the piece justice:

To

To understand Buck, you have to understand he’s working in the school of Pat Summerall. Over beers and lunch at his country club, Buck described his style as “minimalist.” He wants to narrate a play with the fewest possible words and then go silent. Should he blab too much, he hears something like a bell ringing in his head — it’s that old internal censor. “You’re going on too long,” it tells him. 

“If there was something he learned from his dad, it’s when to shut up,” said Rudd. “He understands the innate drama of the game, and when it kicks in, it doesn’t need to be enhanced by any kind of commentary.” Rudd added, “For him, the best moments are probably right after the calls when he lets the drama unfold and he doesn’t say anything.”

I certainly didn't find him a minimalist on the broadcast of last year's Open, but I also get that he had no shortage of issues to control.  The question is whether, over time, Buck will become a competent host of golf telecasts.

The good news is that he's himself a good stick and passionately loves our game.  That is necessary though hardly sufficient....  The concern is that in having covered football and baseball extensively, that his instincts have developed in a manner ill-suited to a golf telecast.  I, for one, find his booming voice grating on a golf broadcast, but we can only hope he's more comfortable this time around.  I would be more optimistic, however, if he showed a little more humility in the face of a daunting challenge.

 WGC, Tough Love - Alan Shipnuck tells us what we already know about the WGC events:

For an outfit obsessed with marketing, the PGA Tour has never seemed to grasp the concept of the World Golf Championships it created. During the better part of a decade, two of the WGCs were parked in the metropolises of Akron and Tucson. A third was also marooned in the U.S., but at least it was in South Florida, the gateway to Latin America. Yet the WGCs ruined that, too. 

The Tour stop at Doral dates to 1962, and for years it was a lively good time. All that fun mojo was drained away by the vampire squid that is the WGC, with its faux seriousness and blatant corporatism. The Cadillac Championship cannibalized the Doral event in 2007 and then gave us Donald Trump, who bought the host venue and two years ago turned it from a rollicking birdiefest into a joyless slog. Since settling in China in 2009, the WGC-HSBC Champions has anchored the fall schedule and given Asia the big-time event it deserved, but for years now the Stateside WGCs seemed to have no point other than helping Tour players buy third homes.

The WGC's were never intended to promote golf around the world, they were intended to forestall Greg Norman's plans to create a world tour.  You can't know whether a strategy succeeded without understanding its objectives....  It's controlled out of Ponte Vedra Beach, and that's what's mot important.

But while Commissioner Ratched can be maddeningly opaque for the most part, here he gives it to us very clearly:

As for the jobs at stake, PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem made it perfectly clear where his loyalties lie: "We value dollars for our players. We have a strong sense of fiduciary responsibility. So we make decisions that are in the best interests of our players, short term and long term."

To be fair, that is his job..... Of course, many of us see his players' long-term interests differently than he does, but he's made it clear that it's all about the Benjamins.

Alan touches on it, but to me the crime is sacrificing the history of the Tour, here it's Doral but we've previously discussed at length his ritual sacrifice of the Western Open, to his latest money-grabbing scheme.  As long as there's a sponsor willing to pony up, there's no event that won't be sold down the river...

The only constraint is the sponsors, though we've seen him continually pull rabbits out of hats when prospects seemed dire.  For instance:

Aaron Reiss of the Houston Chronicle with a report on Shell ending a 25-year run next

April, with only AT&T and Honda having been sponsors of tour events longer. 

Negotiations had been ongoing but appear to have broken down with the tough financial times for the oil industry. This leaves the Houston Golf Association and tournament director Steve Timms looking for a new tournament backer.

No pint clicking through, as it's behind the paywall.  Shack had this excerpt:

Timms said negotiations for a sponsorship extension with Shell began last fall. He said the HGA "remained optimistic through the process." 

"We know that (the declining oil economy) has an effect locally," Timms said. "Today is the culmination of a lot of people working really hard to try to make it work. You do also kind of get to a point where there's a decision path that has to be culminated. That's where we are today."

I'm guessing that Commissioner Monahan is going to have many such issues to occupy him, though my track record on this subject isn't sterling.

Mean Girls, Outed - We've got a new twist on the Undercover Tour Pro thing today, namely that the cover is a skort.  here's her lede:

If more golf fans made an effort to follow us, I think they'd quickly get over the fact our shots aren't always as far and fantastic as the men. We have a more diverse cast of characters. The LPGA Tour is quite the scene once you get to know it.

If by "always" you mean "ever", then I'm with you.....So, what about those crazy Korean girls?

The Koreans are, clearly, the biggest presence. They always stay in the same houses and eat together and are always sharing things. A lot travel with their parents, and it can get crazy. Moms and dads hovering, giving their daughters candy when they make a birdie, accusations of hand signals from the gallery, like what club another girl hit on a par 3. They root for each other to win more than any other nationality. Some of it is corporate-conditioned, too. A club company, for example, has a one-month retreat every winter where its players practice all day and eat meals and spend virtually every waking second with one another. 

The devout Koreans who attend Christian Bible study are another contingent. I could name a few who don't practice as well as they preach. When it comes to women who throw fits and curse at their caddie or the occasional volunteer, this clique is well-represented.

I didn't realize that Korean in Christian Bible study was a thing, but they have bad caddies just like the rest of us.... And, not to be misogynist, are there mean girls?

The mean girls? They're all pretty, almost exclusively blonde, and usually diehard Republicans. These mean girls are nice to your face but then make a comment about you as soon as you leave. If you're not wearing the right designer brands, watch out. Very few women have clothing deals with fully scripted outfits, so only in our locker room will you ever hear, "Can you believe she paired that top with that skirt?" I always considered Cristie Kerr the queen bee. If she doesn't know you, she won't greet you. 

Funny, though, just the other week I was sneaking off the back nine for a practice round and there she was. Oh, no, I thought, Cristie Kerr. My stomach went into my throat. We ended up playing together, and she was actually very funny. We had a great time, so maybe I'm on her good side now.

I'll be scanning photos from Bernie Sanders rallies to see if I can identify an LPGA pro....  Maybe there's other reasons why Christie ignores you.... Though as I watched the golf last night and saw Paula Creamer and Morgan Pressel, I was wondering whether she meant natural blondes....