Tuesday Tastings

Have you recovered yet from my modified limited defense of Commissioner Ratched yesterday?  Well, there's a reason it's a seven-step process, but I think today's post will help you along.

Because The FedEx Cup is So Rational - For those that have committed FedEx Cup pints reset protocols to memory, this will come as welcome news:

Nine years after the adoption of the FedEx Cup, the Champions Tour will start a playoff

system of its own in 2016, with the 50-and-over circuit adopting a three-event playoff to end its season – a move Golfweek reported in August. 

Now the Champions Tour has unveiled the first leg of the new playoff system: A new event in Los Angeles.

Be still my foolish heart... just think of the TV commercials!  But I hear you screaming for details:

For 2017 and 2018, a recently renovated Sherwood Country Club will host of the playoff opener, which will be known as the PowerShares QQQ Championship. However, the Oct. 24-30 event in 2016 will be at a course yet to be announced. The top 72 players in the Charles Schwab Cup points standings at regular-season's end will qualify for the PowerShares field. The top 54 after the Los Angeles event will move on to the second tournament in the three-event series. 

The PowerShares QQQ Championship will lead into the Dominion Charity Classic and the Charles Schwab Cup Championship. The latter event will conclude the playoffs and the season-long champion will be decided after that.

 I'm sorry, how does one pronounce QQQ?  Any, there's hilarity as well as one potential silver lining, so let's lead with the former.  Here's a screen shot of the Commish announcing the event, in which Shack appropriately busts the Commish for checking his notes (with Shack's take below):

Here is the PGATour.com clip of the Commish launching the news, while subtly looking at his cards to get the sponsor's name right. (Can't say I blame him with a name like The Powershares QQQ, which is almost as bad as LA's stop from the 80s: The American Golf Carta Blanca Johnny Mathis Classic. Yep, look it up.)

Thanks for the memories.... And then I caught his appearance on Morning Drive, and it was just electric.  No really, has this man ever smiled?  I'll just copy-and-paste Geoff''s take that covers the high points, but you really need to click through below and watch it for yourselves, because the cattle prods are completely hidden:

Now, if Ben Carson just isn't the Ambien replacement you were hoping for, I think this performance today on MD might do the trick despite the effort of Gary Williams to wake the Commish up. Note that the head guy from Invesco Powershares (Dan Draper) refers to the PGA twice, not the PGA Tour. The Fines Department might submit an invoice for that.

If we didn't already have the word "soporific", I'd have to invent it.   And Geoff performs a public service in posting the full job posting for the event's Executive Director, a modern classic of the genre.  Give Geoff a click and don't deny yourself the pleasure of reading it (as well as Shack's inserted snarky comments), as I'll just provide this one tease:

Serves as executive interface with Title Sponsor, the PGA TOUR and all other strategic partners to ensure a collaborative working relationship, fulfillment and transparency of contractual obligations and to ensure that all partners are receiving value as a result of the partnership

No MBA buzzwords were left unharmed.  But I did note the one silver lining:

But the kickoff year venue is even more intriguing, depending on a member vote: Bel-Air Country Club. There has been some buzz in LA golf circles about the possibility even though no one can fathom how it would work. The former George Thomas-Billy Bell design that's been much-mangled over the years and would provide a wildly fascinating locale for a tournament, albeit one with little room for spectators or hospitality. Members are scheduled to vote very soon on the 2016 date.

It's LA.... you won't have any of those pesky spectators. They'll all be at the Rams game....What?  Really, St. Louis?  Sheesh, what were they thinking?

Of Veej I Singh - Forgive the recycled title, but that might be my lifetime best....

So, are you excited about Olympic Golf?  Eagerly anticipating the first sight of plaid pants in the opening ceremonies?  I know, the wait is just agonizing... But I've got good news from The Jet (not to be confused with The Shark):

World champion Fijian golfer Vijay Singh has offered to represent Fiji at the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, when golf is re-introduced as an Olympic sport for the first time in 112 years. 

Singh’s participation is contingent on him making the top rankings on the PGA circuit in the lead-up to the Olympics. But if he repeats his performance this year, his selection is assured. 

The announcement that the Lautoka-born champion has made himself available to represent Fiji in Rio was warmly welcomed by the Prime Minister, Voreqe Bainimarama, who described it as great news for Fiji.

That is great news, and kudos to the Veej for "making himself available."   That's apparently Voreqe in the photo on the right, but you knew that...  And, Dear Reader, please swallow that sip of coffee before reading this excerpt:

The Prime Minister also revealed that Vijay Singh has agreed to mentor the Fijian Rugby Sevens team, which has already qualified for Rio, along with the Under 19s National Football team.

Yanno, I now realize that I've been completely wrong about this Olympic Golf thing... I do apologize.

Another Course Lost - Golf course closures are dog bites man stories, excepting perhaps this one:

Monday night at Petco Park concluded with over 1600 rounds having been played inside

the Padres home stadium. What turned out as a semi-publicity stunt/goodwill effort to share Petco with golfing baseball fans turned into something much larger. ESPN sent Kenny Mayne for a post-MNF feature, local newscasts around the United States showed footage and Golf Channel covered the madness.

Shack attempts to explain the popularity of it all, and he seems to me to be grasping for profundity in vain.  I mean, stifle a yawn as he explains how golf and baseball share an architectural ethos...Really?  So, what's the golf equivalent of Three Rivers Stadium?  It would have to be a TPC I'm guessing...

But why does this need an explanation?  Callaway and the Padres did something that was fun, they did it well and, SPOILER ALERT, people like golf.  Well, golfers in any event... but there's quite a few of them, and they tend to really like golf.

As Shack notes, we've all seen the 450 foot sign in center field and thought that that's just a wee 8-iron, but until Clayton Kershaw Jacob DeGrom (that's for you, Wally) throws ProV1's, it's not really a terribly interesting thought...  But watch Geoff's video to see the fun involved, and also to see him channel his inner Sergio.  And the Kenny Mayne video is fun as well, though Robert Allenby could pick up a few pointers on caddie abuse.

You Know It's a Slow Week When... - This is the opening graph from Shack's Forward Press column, you know the one that previews the week ahead in golf:

Residual check earners Cheech Marin and Don Johnson may want to scale back their dining plans this week as Tin Cup gets squeezed from Golf Channel’s schedule to make room for the fresh-from-theaters debut of…The Squeeze. 

While a movie debuting on television is hardly newsworthy, the paucity of golf films makes this Terry Jastrow-envisioned film a bit of an event. Debuting Tuesday at 8 p.m. ET on Golf Channel, The Squeeze stars Jeremy Sumpter and Christopher McDonald in a story that sounds something like The Sting meetsThe Color Of Money in the vein of, oh what the heck, Tin Cup.

Really, that's your lede?  And while everyone from Jack Nicklaus to Phil Mickelson have been favorably blurbed, this seems more likely:

Described as the faith-based story of “a young man with uncommon golf skills (who) becomes caught up in a deadly high-stakes golf match between big-time gamblers,” the film saw a brief theatrical release in April. Variety’s Bill Edelstein wrote that The Squeeze is “so handicapped by prosaic dialogue and the earnest young couple at its core that the ingenious “based on actual events” twist at the end feels more like an impossible lie.”

And these are current headlines at Golfweek, that somehow I resisted the impulse to click on:

Let's make this simple.  Russell Knox won and everybody else lost.  Next subject:

What's worse than the wraparound season?  A wraparound season with off-field events opposite the limited field moneygrabs...Oh, and what's a Malnati?

Repeat after me, only five months until Augusta.

New Data - Even in a week as boring as this one picks up bits that are new...  In honor of Russell Knox's win at the HSBC as an alternate, the Tour Confidential gang was asked to name their most improbable Tour win.  OK, silly question as the use of the word alternate creates a Pavlovian response that triggered the obvious answer from most of the panelists.  But, while the answers were predictable, Gary Van Sickle added a little detail that made me take notice:

VAN SICKLE: Nothing beats John Daly getting into the 1991 PGA Championship as the ninth alternate and then winning it after arriving in Indianapolis at the last minute. It's hard to imagine two eligible players skipping a major these days, much less eight. Still, the first guy who passed on that '91 PGA was Gene Sarazen, who had a lifetime exemption. He started the dominoes falling for Daly. Brad Bryant was the final dropout that got Daly into the field. With bigger purses and world ranking points now, I don't think anything like Daly happens again in a major.

Gene Sarazan and John Daly forever linked...who woulda thunk it?

Other Strange Connections -  Here was the quote on Shack's site yesterday:

If we have never had a bad lie we are not likely to appreciate a good one, moreover, the ability to play from a bad lie differentiates between a good player and a bad one. We might also remark that good and bad lies differentiate between good sportsmen and bad.

ALISTER MACKENZIE

Now, Dr. Mackenzie died in 1934, and yet, Nostradamus-like, he correctly anticipated Schrager (apologies to non-Willow Ridge members).