Masters Mishegoss

The next two weeks are a golf wasteland, mitigated perhaps only by the Dinah Shore Kraft Nabisco whatever they're calling it these days where putts all break towards Indio... And since it's never too early to discuss the Masters, shall we?

The Last Loop - Many are deservedly noting that this will be the last year of the Ben Crenshaw - Carl Jackson pairing at the Masters:

It was 1983 when Augusta National began to allow Masters participants to bring their

own caddies, rather than use the clubs. Ben Crenshaw had already played in the event since 1972, and started using local caddie Carl Jackson as his annual bagman in 1976. Crenshaw decided to keep Carl on his bag, while others started bringing their own men, saying it was "a pretty easy decision for me." The merits of the move bore out when Crenshaw won the 1984 and 1995 Masters. The image of Jackson leaning over an emotional Crenshaw following his second victory, just after mentor Harvey Penick's death, has become an indelible Masters moment.

There was also this from the Augusta Chronicle:

“To go through this experience with Carl, he’s such a friend and helped me so much,” Crenshaw said. “I never could have done it without Carl. He’s such a special person in my life. We met each other on the prettiest place we know.” 

At age 67, Jackson is one of the oldest caddies in the Masters. Even so, he says if a top player asked him to caddie during the 2016 Masters, he might do it. 

“I’d love to get back in the heat one more time,” he said.

Pleasant to think about, but ain't gonna happen.  Though if I were an up-and-coming player at Augusta for the first or second time, I'd hire Carl to accompany my caddie and me on our practice rounds.  In fact, if Rory is listening that's not a crazy idea for him as well...

Tiger, Blue Velvet Phase -  Oliver Holt in The Mail On Sunday pens an amusingly creepy piece from Orlando about former World No. 1.  Here's his rather odd lede:

There is a sad, dilapidated air about the yellow clapboard building that sits above the busy intersection of Conroy and Apopka Vineland in the upmarket suburb of Windermere. 

There are a few chairs on a terrace that has an uninterrupted view of the traffic and a fountain still shoots water into the air from the lake below. But there are bits of flotsam floating in the lake now and pieces of rubble rest on the shore. The beautiful people used to come here but not any more. 

This was the Perkins restaurant where Tiger Woods would make eyes at a waitress called Mindy Lawton as his wife, Elin, ate breakfast and read the newspaper. It was when the National Enquirer became aware of their affair and started to shadow their trysts that Woods’s world began to fall apart. 

Yanno, I can wax nostalgic about Rachel Uchitel as easily as the next guy, but as in the Jaime Diaz profile we dissected a while back, there's a big flaw in the logic of tying Tiger's fall from grace to the Thanksgiving fire hydrant....i.e., that Y.E. Yang happened three months before this exploded onto the front page of the N.Y. Post.

Tiger might not have been the same guy after the scandal broke, but he was still good enough to win five times in 2013, including The Players on a course he hates.  Even if you ignore the Majors, what happened to THAT guy?

That is where Woods is now. Reduced and diminished. A figure who excites pity more

than admiration. There is a macabre fascination about his descent into ordinariness. 

One American sports writer observed recently that Woods had now entered the ‘freak show phase’ of his career. He meant the period when a once great sportsman struggles to cope with the loss of his pre-eminence, the thing that has defined him for his entire adult life. He stops making the headlines because of his sport and hits the news pages for the minutiae that is all he has left.

You mean like a tooth?  Actually, the funnier bit was the guy that referred to it as his Michael Jackson phase...the only thing missing is his skin getting progressively whiter.

But this is a complete misfire:

The three highest television audiences for the Masters have involved Woods storylines (wins in 1997 and 2001 and his return in 2010, a few months after the scandal about his personal life had broken). In years he was not in contention, the figures plummeted. 

In the States, Woods’ decline appears to have prompted a decline in public participation in golf. Courses are being closed at a rate that suggested there will be 10 per cent fewer each year for the next five years. The number of rounds played by hardcore golfers is dwindling, too.

No doubt the Woods effect could be seen in TV ratings, especially at Augusta.  But no effect of Tiger could ever be discerned in golf's participation numbers, which right now should be considered good news.

But ultimately this and other articles of their ilk seem to fail in their mission to persuade, as Mr. Woods seems to be in a good place in his life.  Perhaps the biggest issue with his game right now is the competing demands of fatherhood and significant-otherhood with a world-class athlete, and it seems churlish to begrudge him those pleasure (and in the case of the former, it's really an obligation).

I believe he could do himself more good were he able to speak openly about his priorities, but he's been in that bunker for a long time.  It's just golf, folks...

What To Wear? - The days of a top touring pro waking up, opening his closet and grabbing the first golf polo he sees are long gone, but we've a new twist this year.  First up, here's what World No. 1 will be wearing, with Kyle Porter providing the commentary:

One way or another, Rory McIlroy is going to stand out on the course at Augusta National this year. Here's how Nike puts it:

Sporting a clean collection of white with volt, the current World No. 1 will feature athletic looks throughout the week.

I like the volt (neon) look. I'm just not sure I like that much of it. And white pants every day? I'm just glad McIlroy wasn't wearing those down the stretch on Sunday in 2011.

Thanks for that last image, Kyle.... I'm eating breakfast here, yanno...So Nike is scripting Masters outfits for their marque players, that must include Tiger as well....and in fact it does:

Tiger Woods still might not play the 2015 Masters. If he does, though, he's going to look

sharp. Nike released Woods' four Masters outfits on Monday (pictured above). 

He's going with red on Sunday (stunner) and gray, white and black the other three days. The only abnormal piece is probably the red and black shoes pictured.

I think I've only ever seen him in white, black or gray kicks. 

Thumbs up on all of this stuff. That Saturday shirt is an absolute keeper, and I've been a big fan of Woods' new golf shoes all season. 

Even if I've only seen them on him a handful of times.

Kinda weird in that we don't know if he's gonna play, but you can readily see the no-win position for Nike, and this was the only logical way to proceed.  Still, I'd suggest that even if he plays that he not remove the tags on the weekend outfits just yet...at least until we see him chip a few times.

The ever-helpful golf.com has a Plan B for Tiger:

Nike released Tiger's Masters scripts today. If he doesn't play, we've got a plan B for him.

Good stuff, though Shack takes exception at the Cheerios, noting that our Tiger was more of a Fruit Loops guy... the net, by the way, is so he can work on his chipping.  We like funny, so I'll also remind you of Tim Herron's humorous take on this last year:

It's not exactly fair, since Lumpy looks good in everything...

Airspace Secured - Like me, I'm sure you're worried about the security issues related to the airspace over Augusta, GA during the Masters.  Not to worry, the local government is on the case:

The fight against technology took to the skies this week as the Augusta-Richmond County Commission banned drones over Augusta, Ga., for nearly two weeks in early April. 

The new ordinance will be in effect April 2-13, lasting from a week before the Masters to the Monday after the event at Augusta National Golf Club. 

The Federal Aviation Administration holds general jurisdiction over drones, but the commission determined it had specific public health and safety issues, citing the Boston Marathon as an example of a public gathering and/or famous sports venue that has experienced an incident of violence.

Thank God it'll be in effect for the finals of the Drive, Pitch and Putt competition...I can see where you'd want to keep the cowboys with Drones away, though I still don't understand why we can't have a blimp...

Loosely tied to this is a first-world problem that John Strege analyzes for us:

Traffic is always an issue at major sporting events, but maybe more so at the Masters, and we’re not even talking about Augusta’s streets.

We’re talking about its airport. Augusta Regional Airport is expecting 3,000 private aircraft landings and takeoffs during Masters week, up from 2,034 last year, Ken Hinkle, director of aviation services for the airport, told the Augusta Chronicle.

You tellin' me that those Drive, Chip and Putt kids fly private?  But it runs out that as is often the case, at its core its a parking problem:

The airport has had to change its procedures to accommodate the private planes descending on the area during the week. Pilots no longer have to reserve parking places, unlike the previous two years; they’ll be issued on a first-come first-served basis. The change was precipitated by the fact that many planes were left in parking places beyond their reservation days. 

But the airport has doubled its parking capacity by closing taxiways A and E to use them for parking. It can accommodate as many as 200 planes now. It will use part of its taxiways as a stop-and-drop for dropping passengers before heading off to park elsewhere.

Just tow a couple, and word would get out...