Through The Looking Glass - When last we visited our protagonist Robert Allenby, a homeless woman was throwing cold water on his account of his abduction and beating at the hands of the rough trade that frequent wine bars. Now I had linked to this News9 account from Australia but completely missed the best detail, that the woman in question is named Charade Keane. You folks rightfully expect me to recognize comedy gold when I trip over it, and I'm chastened by this obvious lack of attention to detail.
Charade? Apparently that's now a name...who knew? In any event, Charade's account indicated that Allenby was found in close proximity to the wine bar and differs in other details. At Fox Sports, Alex Miceli attempts to piece together the discrepancies:
A story published Monday on the Honolulu Star-Advertiser website introduced Keane, 42, who said she was riding her bike at about 1:30 a.m. Saturday when she saw a bloody-faced Allenby sitting on a planter at the Diamond Head-makai corner of Kapiolani Boulevard and Pii-koi Street.
Allenby had said that Keane saw him being thrown from the trunk of a car, but Keane didn't remember it that way, according to the report.
Got that? A homeless woman with a bike? Because she needs transportation to....aw, never mind. This is really the gist of her story:
According to Keane, however, Allenby was talking with the two homeless men, whom she knows, and she thought the men were helping him. The two men mentioned to her that Allenby had hit his head on a rock. "They started arguing when I got up there, and I realized this wasn't well. I need to get him out of here," she said, and confirmed Allenby's story that the men were trying to rob him. "I just wanted him to get away because I wasn't sure of the situation. They started arguing again."
Keane told Allenby to come with her, and when he did, the two men followed. Eventually, Allenby asked Keane for help negotiating a deal with the men to leave him alone. According to Keane, Allenby suggested he would give them $500 in exchange for his wallet and phone because he thought the men had robbed him.
While I'll note that Charade seems to be very specific about her account, there's no way to reconcile these discrepancies from here in Utah. But let me throw two little additional bits at you. First was this item I deliberately let pass from the original accounts that now seems, what's the word, curious:
"We see a lot of things on movies and stuff. You know, I watched Taken quite a few times and it kind of felt pretty much the same as that. I just, very surreal, yeah," he said.
So, he's a big fan of a series of movies that mirror his circumstances....but then see if you react as I did to this item from old friend Tim Rosaforte:
Golf Channel insider Tim Rosaforte reported on Monday's "Golf Central" that Allenby texted him, “I’m guessing she’s getting paid” in response to her claims. Allenby later texted Rosaforte, "It’s such a shame that people are focusing on whether the story is true. I say you only have to look at me to see the truth.”
Ummmm....Robert, who would pay her and why? Am I the only one to whom that sounds awfully defensive? On a chairlift yesterday I wildly speculated with ski buddy Mitch that there was a hooker involved, but then I'm always speculating that there's a hooker involved. I have no idea what's going on, but things are not as they appear. Stay tuned...
More Unraveling - Next up is a story that appears to accomplish a rare feat, combining my two great passions of golf and skiing. But this story is also unraveling, so quickly that I'd not even had a chance to share Phase I with you.
So, first the background, involving Lindsey Vonn's remarkable comeback from knee surgery:
Lindsey Vonn provisionally won a super-G on Monday to break Annemarie Moser-Proell's 35-year-old record of 62 World Cup victories.
For win No. 63, the American clocked 1 minute 27.03 seconds down the Olympia delle Tofane course to finish 0.85 ahead of Anna Fenninger of Austria.
I've no idea why they use the "P" word, but by all accounts it's an official win. Now you won't be shocked by the golf connection:
Vonn's boyfriend, Tiger Woods, surprised her in the finish area, where the pair shared an emotional embrace.
Vonn exclaimed: "No way!" when she saw him.
"I didn't think this could get any better than yesterday with my entire family here but now with Tiger here this is unbelievable," Vonn said. "I said, 'I can't believe you came.' And he said, 'I told you.'"
Good for him in making the effort to share an important milestone with his squeeze, and this is quite the performance by Vonn, whom most folks assumed was done when she abandoned her efforts to return in time for the Sochi Olympics.
It was apparently Nick Menta at Golf Channel who noticed that something was, you know, missing:
Tiger Woods surprised Lindsey Vonn on Monday in Italy, showing up at the finish line of her record-breaking win. He surprised the rest of us with his apparent lack of a front tooth.
At first, Woods' wacky skeleton mask was the topic of conversation, but these pictures from the Associated Press generated a social media buzz, with questions ranging from "What happened to his tooth?" to "OK, seriously, what happened to his tooth?"
And here's the priceless, photo, in all it's over-sized glory:
Shack was highly complimentary of the look:
Sporting a ski mask he picked up at the Jack The Ripper outlet store, Woods was at the finish line after Vonn's historic win and an AP photographer caught this image of the new Mike Tyson aesthetic.
Tyson is a good call on the dental work, though I might have been tempted to work in a highly topical Marshawn Lynch reference. But here's where it gets curious, as Shack adds an update to his post with a statement from Tiger's mouthpiece:
**AP got an email from Tiger's agent, who says a photographer knocked the tooth out:Mark Steinberg, his agent at Excel Sports, explained the missing tooth in an email. He says during a crush of photographers at the awards podium, a media member with a shoulder-mounted video surged toward the stage, turned and hit Woods in the mouth. That's what knocked out the tooth.
He did not say when Woods would have it replaced. Golf's biggest star returns to competition next week in Phoenix, and his smile is sure to produce a stream of shutters from the cameras.
OK, the man's given name is Steiny and I'll thank you to address him by that. But in another "Not so fast" moment, the AP reports that the World Cup officials are disputing that account:
Race organizers said this was not reported to them. They added that Woods did request extra security and a snowmobile to exit the finish area, and organizers met both requests."I was among those who escorted him from the tent to the snowmobile and there was no such incident," Nicola Colli, the secretary general of the race organizing committee, told The Associated Press. "When he arrived he asked for more security and we rounded up police to look after both him and Lindsey."
Woods had been wearing a scarf with a skeleton pattern over the lower part of his face, sunglasses and a stocking cap. The photo was taken when the scarf was lowered.
What's this crazy world coming to if you can't believe Steiny?
Previously Unraveled - Pete Thamel scores the first interview with the suspended vacationing Dustin Johnson, and I find this lede to be quite off-putting:
In a gated community northwest of Los Angeles, at an out-of-the way table at Sherwood Country Club, Dustin Johnson arrives for his first interview since he disappeared from the PGA Tour under murky circumstances five months ago. He comes prepared. His longtime agent, David Winkle, sits on one side. A public relations consultant sits on the other. A list of talking points Johnson has written down on a white sheet of paper sits in front of him. They include family, simple life and dedication. Between spits of dip, he delivers his lines with conviction. “Over these past four or five months I've really grown up,” he says, “and I am starting to become the person I want my kids to look up to.”
Let's see...your agent, a PR hack AND written talking pints? If you need a written reminder of your family I'm sure everything is fine. but of course this is the bit that will garner the attention:
Johnson and his p.r. team say he wasn't suspended and are indignant that reports continue to circulate despite a denial from the Tour.Johnson says this respite was a choice to address “personal challenges.” He adds that he did not enter any kind of rehab, instead hiring a team of experts -- a life coach and several clinicians among them -- to help him better understand what drives him, how to handle stress and how to unlock his latent potential. “I did not have a problem,” he says when asked explicitly about cocaine. “It’s just something I’m not going to get into. I have issues. But that’s not the issue.”
Indignant? I'm not a P.R. professional nor do I play one on TV, but good luck with finding a market for your indignity.... unless, of course, you're willing to share with us what the problem might have been.
Johnson is a remarkably lucky man, obviously having amassed a fortune playing a silly game but also in the support he's receiving from the entire Gretzky clan. But the denials ring quite hollow, and i was always taught that first step to recovery was to acknowledge the problem....
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