Tales From the Auchterarder Asylum

There's still many days of air time to fill before the opening tee shot, and it seems we've hit the wall already... Dare we dive in?

When Bromances Go Bad - The only logical conclusion to be drawn from Paul McGinley's presser yesterday (with Tom Watson) is that the two Ulstermen will not be paired.  Here is his specific answer in its entirety:

PAUL McGINLEY: Yeah, it's not an issue and it's not been an issue for me in terms of Ryder Cup captaincy since -- over the last year, certainly, since these court proceedings

started. Both of them have assured me all along that there's no issues, and that's the way I've always seen it. Whether they come together or not is another story. Three or four months ago, I had a very strong view that they would have been, but the more I look at their statistics and the more I look at the different value I have with them, I'm thinking there may be a value in not doing it. But if I don't do it, it certainly won't be because of any issues. As both of them have said, there are no issues between them and both of them will be happy to play together but it will be my decision ultimately.

Value?  Shouldn't you leave that to the cadre of MBA's in Ponte Vedra Beach?  But an actual act of journalism occurred, and this was his answer to the follow-up question regarding his reference to statistics:

"They have played six Ryder Cup matches together and they have won only two of them. So, it’s not like these guys are written in stone together. They are not a formidable foursome pairing, not a formidable fourball pairing that’s unbeatable.”

Si I guess that leaves the team room for the service of legal papers.  James Corrigan, who likely has better Euro team sources than most, had this about potential pairings:

McIlroy has intimated that there will be some “surprise pairings” and the whisper on Monday night was that he has been lined up to play with Martin Kaymer in the Friday afternoon foursomes. Sergio García would be the obvious choice to partner him in the opening fourballs, but with Justin Rose and Henrik Stenson rumoured to be a better-ball pairing, McIlroy could even reprise his famous Medinah double act with Ian Poulter. Their last-hole success over Jason Dufner and Zach Johnson was credited with inspiring the Medinah comeback, which led to Europe winning their sixth of the past seven Ryder Cups.

I'm not clear on why Sergio would be such an "obvious" choice to pair with him, not that it wouldn't be formidable team.   I had speculated that he might find himself paired with Poulter again, though that seems sufficiently high-risk that perhaps it's better to save that for Saturday in the event that Friday doesn't go well.  But Rory paired with any of the eleven options is instantly formidable, so McGinley is operating from strength.

And Rory continues to absorb most of the available oxygen in the room, as follows:

• As per the photo below, Rory apparently didn't get the memo about footwear for this team picture:

Perhaps he was just looking to distract from the rather dreadful tartan sports jackets.

• Because he's been driving it so poorly, Rory might use a new driver in the Ryder Cup per a post at The Loop:

Could Rory McIlroy be putting a new driver in play this week at the Ryder Cup? The door appears open to that possibility after four new Nike drivers -- the Vapor Pro and three iterations of the Vapor Speed -- appeared on the USGA's conforming driver list for the first time Monday. McIlroy was spotted on the driving range at Gleneagles practicing with the Vapor Pro (right).

Please do that Rory, it can only help the U.S.

• He's seen the light, apparently, as Rory now considers the Ryder Cup to be the "ultimate buzz":

Five years ago, McIlroy’s ambivalence towards the Ryder Cup was documented in one of those fateful expressions that follow a player around.

An ‘exhibition’ he called it, with the innocence of a man who had grown up thinking only about majors as the hallmark of a player’s greatness.

When did he change his mind? 

‘Oh, when I arrived at Celtic Manor for my first one in 2010 and walked into the team room,’ he said, smiling. ‘Then there was the first tee on the first morning with the songs and the atmosphere. 

‘I couldn’t understand why people made such a big deal of it, or got so excited. I mean, we’re individuals, not team players, and we play for ourselves for the most part. But once you’ve been part of it, you know it’s the ultimate buzz. 

‘I’ve been lucky enough to finish on the winning side in two really close ones now and it is fantastic to celebrate as a team on that Sunday night.’

Winning will do that to a fellow.  

In non-Rory news, see if you think The Telegraph's Oliver Brown has jumped the shark:

Golf’s conventional etiquette is suspended at a Ryder Cup. There is no other stage in the game that would permit Rickie Fowler to disembark the Americans’ Ryder Cup plane in Edinburgh sporting a GI Joe-style crewcut, the letters “USA” shaved around his ear in an exhibition of thuggish jingoism that on any normal day would give grounds for many a club secretary to throw him off the premises in a heartbeat.

Thuggish jingoism?  I'm wondering if that's covered in the Telegraph's Style Book, but aren't we overreacting just a wee bit here.  Do read the whole thing as he maintains his fevered pitch throughout, taking a bad haircut to be the moral equivalent of war.  I guess in his world there should be no winner of the event, just give all the kids a participation ribbon.

The he takes Watson to task for this reaction:

Watson, pressed on his reaction to Fowler’s provocatively cropped look, tried to sound emollient. “I thought I was terrific,” he said. “It brings a light spirit to the team. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if even Ted Bishop puts USA on the side of his head if it means we’re going to win.” For the record, Bishop, the president of the PGA of America, is 60 years old and without even half the hair required to carry the look off.

You're right, Ollie, Watson should have thrown his player under the bus for the good of the game.  I'm sure that's what Seve would have done...Sheesh!  That jingoism exists on both sides, and it's what makes the event so dramatic and exciting.  If it's too much so for your delicate sensibilities, perhaps The Telegraph has an opening to cover the ballet, where after all only the swans die.

Adam Schupak has a good piece on one of the more unpleasant tasks that the Captain's face, placing a player's name in the envelope in advance of the Sunday singles in case a member of the opposing team is unable to compete.  Lots of good history of when it's come into play (think Kiawah), and this rather suspect anecdote from 2008's captain:

“That’s probably the hardest decision you have to make as captain,” Azinger said. “I didn’t know what to do at first. If the name gets revealed, you potentially have shattered someone’s confidence. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Could the individual handle it if they were exposed? I’m going to put who I think is the most secure individual in this envelope. I cared about my guys, and the last thing I wanted to do was damage someone’s psyche. So I actually had a very good player in there.”

I'm not buying... Azinger wanted to beat Faldo more than anything i the world, there's little chance that he had anyone other than the player he considered his weakest link in that envelope.

I'm not especially optimistic about Phil Mickelson's prospects this week, but he has quite a bit of interesting Ryder Cup experience and Jim McCabe captures the highs and lows of it in this piece.  This of course is the one everyone remembers:

The day before the 35th Ryder Cup began at Oakland Hills, U.S. captain Hal Sutton electrified the media gathering and then the opening ceremonies by announcing that Woods and Mickelson would go out in the first four-ball match. Then ranked first and fourth in the world, Woods and Mickelson had never been paired in a team event. 

“You can’t help as competitors to have a little anxiety versus one another, because the world has pitted you against each other,” Sutton said. “It was there for Arnold (Palmer) and Jack (Nicklaus), but they bonded; they became friends.”

It didn’t happen for Woods and Mickelson that day. 

In four-balls, Colin Montgomerie and Padraig Harrington birdied six of the first eight holes and eight of 14 and won, 2 and 1. When Sutton tried to force the magic in foursomes, Clarke and Westwood took down America’s top two players, 1 up, when Mickelson drove it wide left at the final hole. 

“I basically cost us the (foursomes) match,” Mickelson said. “It’s been a very disappointing day for me.”

No you didn't, Phil, your idiot Captain did.  After all, how stupid must you be to insist on pairing two guys that hate each other.  They weren't even standing together on the first tee, played horribly and Sutton doubled down for the afternoon foursome where they'd have to play each other's shots.

But my lasting impression from that first day at Oakland Hills is that the Tiger-Phil pairing was only his second stupidest move of the day.  Oakland Hills is unique in that all four Par-3's are either even or odd holes, meaning that one of your guys is going to hit the tee ball on all four, and the other is going to have driver in his hand nine times.  On that team was Fred Funk, a man whose only conspicuous talent is in hitting fairways, so naturally Hal "Rocket Scientist" Sutton had Funk hit the tee shot in foursomes on the Par-3's the first day.  Somebody obviously got through his thick skull, because he changed it the next day, but it's little wonder we lost.

Lastly, finally some airtime for the Most Mysterious Man in Golf, Victor Dubuisson, from John Huggan:

Consider this. When, earlier this year, the 27-year old Frenchman was cutting a wide

swathe through the field at the WGC Match Play Championship in Arizona -- along the way hitting a couple of extraordinary and memorable chip/pitch shots from unlikely lies -- he was asked how old he was when he left school. His answer wavered between the ages of ten and 12, before he requested, "no more personal questions." And what was the first thing Dubuisson did after losing the final to Aussie Jason Day? He changed his phone number.

Writing in The Independent, Paul Mahoney calls Dubuisson the "Garbo of the greens":

Europe has a secret Ryder Cup weapon but, as none of his team-mates has a clue what the heck makes Victor Dubuisson tick, what chance do the Americans have? The 24-year-old Frenchman with the musketeer whiskers is making his debut in this biennial dust-up and he has a short game that has prompted many to hail him as the new Seve Ballesteros.

The trouble is, despite his matinee idol looks Dubuisson does not have Seve’s craving to be the centre of attention. He would rather be the new Garbo. He wants to be alone. He is Europe’s brooding, temperamental, enigmatic, international man of mystery. Hardly ideal attributes to bring to the team room. 

But there is something about Victor. He is likeable, he has charisma and charm, a disarming smile, a twinkle in his eye and, as with Seve, the camera loves him.

I would expect to see Victor only in the fourball, partnered with one of the veterans (I've seen McDowell, Kaymer and Stenson mentioned as logical options).