Sunday, February 5, 2017

Super Sunday Stuff

Rumor has it that there's a football game later today.... This caught my eye as a pretty good analysis of those rooting for the Falcons:



Tiger, The Post-Postmortem - It's hard to argue that he's not the straw that stirs the drink, as we can't seem to move on.  Now piling on is Butch Harmon, focusing on an issue about which Tiger isn't the least bit sensitive:

BH: When he got bigger and bulkier, the speed of his swing didn't really increase, but a lot of people build up their body to protect their back. You try and work on your torso to
make yourself stronger, but I think the problems Tiger has had didn't come from golf - they could have come from too much work in the gym. 
Only he can tell us that, but there was a definite change in his body through the years, although when I saw him in San Diego he didn't look as bulky. He looked like he had slimmed down and trimmed down, which I though was going to be pretty good for him.
Interesting, and he's not the only one that found Tiger to be less bulky at Torrey, though he seems plenty ripped on Thursday in Dubai.


Shack has Morning Drive video here (maybe if I eat all my vegetables he'll teach me how to embed it), in which two things struck me:

  1. Geoff says that Dubai was the second consecutive week in which Tiger looked far better in the ProAm than the actual tournament, and;
  2. Watch the video of him climbing out of the bunker.
Now the first, as I'm sure Geoff would concede, could be highly subjective.... But we've heard this from multiple sources, and it wouldn't be the first time we've spoken of stage fright.  We all know that the game is very different with a scorecard in hand, the more so I imagine if you once dominated.

On No. 2, remember his assertion after the round that he felt no pain?  Either he was in pain, or he realized in that moment that he could have had a V8.....

Ron Sirak is one of the nice guys in our game, and has some interesting reflections from the Wabac machine.  Specifically this is Jack ruminating on Tiger's potential career arc back in 1997:
“The frenzy around him is hard, you guys, you gals,” Jack said to reporters on May 27, 1997. “And he’s single. He’s got that issue in front of him. How do you know how he’s going to react to getting married or not getting married? To having children or not having children. You don’t know, he’s just starting his life. All our lives changed when we got married, all our lives changed when we had children, all our lives changed every day.”

“I’m really quite interested in seeing what’s going to happen to him,” Nicklaus continued. “Every single thing he’s going to do will be right in your newspapers. It will under a microscope. It’s a tough way to live. It’s a tough way to perform as an athlete, [to] have to stand over 3 footers all day long after having that hang over you. But I think he’s quite capable of doing so.” 
And asked if Tiger would have the longevity to break his record of 18 professional major championships, Nicklaus said: 
“I think he wants to win. And winning is his objective every time he turns out. So whether he can maintain that for 24 years (Jack won majors in 1962 and 1986), I don’t know. Probably very difficult, but he’s maintained that kind of — he’s been right in the limelight ever since he’s been 15 years old or younger, he’s had it for about six years, so don’t count him out.”


Does anyone remember how that marriage thing worked out for Tiger?  The one guy w ehaven't heard from recently is Jaime Diaz, who thinks Tiger is still battling the shame of fire hydrantgate....

Though Ron is quite the optimist with this:
What lay ahead for Woods? Who knows? That’s why we love sports. You have to play the game. Personally, I think Tiger has one more Jack-Winning-the-Masters-at-46 magic moment waiting for us, perhaps not this year but sometime. But I don’t expect him to become 24 years old again.
Yes, there are those that continue to speak of Tiger somehow regaining his consistent dominance, and we can only conclude that those folks have been into the wacky tobacky.... As Ron notes, the optimistic scenario is that he can position himself to capture lightning in a bottle...  that could happen, but not when he's playing like he has the last two weeks.

Bob Harig had this seemingly in support of Shack's thesis:
At Emirates Golf Club, there would be warm weather and a more benign course. Woods arrived in the wee hours on Tuesday and was at the course by noon to hit balls; he did so carefully and without much intensity, maybe as simple as trying to get loose after a long flight. 
There seemed to be no apparent issues in the Wednesday pro-am, where Woods has never gone all-out. He looked and sounded fine, chatted several times between shots. He didn't hit his irons particularly well, but it was standard fare, no alarms. 
From the moment he hit his first tee shot on Thursday, Woods looked different. He walked gingerly and did not swing freely. On the first hole he emerged from a greenside bunker so awkwardly that Golf Channel commentator Brandel Chamblee said the golfer "looked like an old man."


That's why above I spoke of evaluating him in a ProAm as being so subjective, as we know he's not going all out...  Oh, and for thos ethinking that the mistake was flying commercial... Harig confirms that he wasn't exactly fighting his fellow travelers for overhead space:
He acknowledged it was an important question after missing the cut at Torrey Pines. "How's my body going to handle flights? Flying out here was something I hadn't done in a while. So now we've got a pretty good jaunt, 17 hours. It will be good."

To be fair, much has been made of Woods flying commercial, but consider that he was in first class in his own suite. (Emirates Airlines prices such tickets from Los Angeles to Dubai, roundtrip, in the $30,000 range.) That kind of luxury might be better than flying on his own plane, which would have had to make multiple stops to make it this far. The question is whether he should have come at all, not how he did it.

Harig had this on the question on everyone's mind, what happened after Albany?
Woods arrived early and played golf every day. On the Sunday before the tournament, during a two-hour practice session, Woods had no trouble carrying drives more than 300 yards, shaping shots in both directions with his various clubs while showing no pangs of discomfort. 
When a reporter remarked that he didn't look bad for an old guy, Woods quipped: "I'm not dead."
I'd love to have some comparable data on clubhead or ball speed, 'cause he looked like a different guy.

Alex Myers has one of his fun items on prop bets here.  I'll let you read the actual data, and instead excerpt Alex's analysis:
According to BookMaker, Woods undergoing another back surgery this year is a favorite
(-140) and Woods withdrawing from another tournament is an overwhelming favorite at -350. 
Then there's how low his performance expectations have dropped. The over/under for cuts made is 2.5? That's it? The over/under for his best finish in a full-field event is 20.5? That's it? He's more likely to shoot an 80 than not? Yikes. 
And finally, the saddest bet revolves around Woods possibly retiring. "Yes" is a big underdog at +290, but the fact that it's even a possibility is, again, well, sad. Hang in there, Tiger fans.
Not just Tiger fans, Alex, but all golf fans....

Today in USGA News -  It's the Good, Bad and the Ugly for sure, but I'll let the reader guess which is which.  First, I take great pleasure in announcing that Diana "Open Bar" Murphy has been elected to a second term as USGA President.  This ensures a great year of awkward awards ceremonies....

I was hoping to put together a highlight reel from YouTube, but of course the USGA has scrubbed those videos.  Diana first wormed her way into our hearts when she was noticeably tanked at the
men's Open awards ceremony, which featured slurred speech and a complete inability to come up with anything to say about Jack Nicklaus in connection with his eponymous award.  

Not one to rest on her laurels, she proceeded to call the Women's U.S. Open Champion Bethany Lang several times, though her articulation was noticeably crisper.  Mores the pity, though I attribute that to a switch from brown liquor to the clear stuff....

Next was the U.S. Senior Open, after which she disappointed her legion of fans by managing the name of the winner, Gene Sauers, without incident....  Though the trophy happens to be named for one of the immortals of our game:


Oh, who cares, he's just some old white guy.....  Perhaps it was all intentional misdirection to take our attention away from their rules snafus.....

Now, since you mentioned rules, Ryan Herrington tell us that D-Day is in March:
What’s expected to be revealed is nothing short of the biggest restructuring of the Rules
in decades. “It doesn’t fundamentally change how you think golf is played,” Davis said. “What it does do is fundamentally change the understanding of the rules, why they are the way they are, and how they’ll be communicated.” 
That includes a re-organization of the Rules that is expected to blow up the current 34-rule structure. 
Published reports last month acknowledged officials at the European Tour, privy to an early review of the USGA/R&A work, had begun talking about potential changes with members of the tour. Among those discussed were changing how players dropped a ball when taking relief, eliminating club length as a measurement for taking relief, decreasing the time players can search for a lost ball from five to three minutes, allowing players to repair marks left by shoe spikes on greens and altering the emphasis on yellow and red stakes for water hazards.
We've been over this ground recently, and the changes seem much more like small-ball to me.  There will be a six-month comment period, so there will be time to gauge reactions....

There was also this:
Murphy also announced that Bob Ford, the long-time head professional at Oakmont (Pa.) C.C. and Seminole G.C., has been named the 2017 Bob Jones Award winner, the highest given by the USGA. Ford, 63, will receive the honor in June during U.S. Open week.
Ford is quite worthy, I'm just wondering how she'll mangle that monosyllabic name....

We can all agree that this is a worthy endeavor:
Next in the works, according to various USGA officials, are national championships for men and women involving disabled golfers. There are a lot of details to be worked out, most of it having to do with what would count as “disabled.” But as Davis said, “there are million and millions of disabled people in the U.S.,” and it would make sense to recognize them. The USGA already works with the National Alliance for Accessible Golf and Special Olympic and is concerned to make everyday facilities more amenable to disabled golfers. 
“But we can do more,” said Davis. He admitted that planning is still a few years out, describing it as “not ten years, closer to three or four.” Such an event might also be undertaken in tandem with rules modifications for playing equipment for disabled golfers.
Fortunately Murphy will be long gone before this occurs....  I don't want to even contemplate the cosmic significance of her mangling the name of a disabled golfer...

 Enjoy your Sunday and that game.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Bonus Saturday Musings

Six inches of fresh stuff, so we're not going to be here long... It might be what we call dust on crust, but we haven't had any appreciable snow for a bit and we're inclined to at least give it a look.

Tiger, The Postmortem - This header on a Derek Lawrenson item doesn't pully any punches:
Tiger Woods is unfit for purpose as lame former world No 1 pulls out of Dubai Desert Classic
Unfit for purpose?  'dems fighting words..... 
What is beyond dispute is Woods's trip to the Emirates was a shambles from start to finish. Tiger can insist all he likes that he was in no pain during his horrific first round 77
Steiny, taking the heat as usual....
but it looked as plain as day that he was unfit for the purpose of playing tournament golf. Certainly, few would argue with the striking headline on the Golf Channel website proclaiming he looked like the oldest 41-year-old golfer in the world. 
Quite honestly, it was a blessing when the news came he was pulling out, for the Tiger we saw on Thursday would have struggled to break 90 in the torrid conditions that prevailed. 
Is it just a temporary setback or are these the sad, final death throes for perhaps the greatest golfer of all time?
Death throes? My, aren't we the drama queen....  I have it n good authority that he just needs some reps so he can get back his golf feels...  But did you see how he was fighting out there?  That was quite the gritty WD after all...

But wait, there's more:
Never mind the Genesis Open. What we could really do with is a Book of Revelation, and some truths as to actually what is going on with Woods and his back. 
I had a drink with one of the leading players here on Thursday night and his exasperation was obvious. 'What is the problem with giving people a full picture of what is happening and what you're dealing with?' he said. 'I think we could all see there were problems on Thursday that weren't there when he played at the Hero Challenge in the Bahamas before Christmas. Why not tell us what's going on? That's never been Tiger, though, has it?'
It's gotten old, no?  And that's with us all rooting for him to get back into the mix....  But it makes one feel like a battered spouse, that this next time will be different....  Just a little candor might be nice...
Derek is obviously a fan of this blog, or so I deduce from this:
Naturally, there were many questioning the wisdom of flying 10,000 miles after his first comeback event in California to compete here, and particularly when his next event is taking place in the very State from whence he came. But Woods was determined to test his back with four events in five weeks to see how it would hold up. Sadly, he got precisely the answer he didn't want.
The young and rash Alex Myes offers additional reasons for the WD, ensuring that he's permanently off Tiger's X-mas card list.  It's far from Alex's best effort, but I'll assume he was on deadline.  This is about as good as it gets:
A seat on a private jet opened up. After flying commercial to Dubai, Woods just couldn't pass it up. 
He remembered he left a light on at home. Energy costs these days, right?
But this is the bit that's of interest:
See you at Riviera in a couple weeks, Tiger. We hope.
Do we?  I don't need to see more of this, if that's what's on offer.....  And every time he does this he's taking a precious spot in the field from an actual professional golfer.

And today's "Shanks for the memories" moment comes courtesy of Ian Poulter.... Poulter's hosel is well acquainted with the feel of surlyn, though he does have a reasonably pithy response to the Twitter posse:


Is That Like Extreme Vetting? - Aussies have a well-established reputation for being the hail fellow well met, but it seems that we're seeing a darker side these days.  To wit:
Steven Bowditch, competing in this week's Waste Management Phoenix Open, was
arrested for Extreme Driving Under the Influence by Scottsdale Police early Friday morning. 
The incident unfolded at approximately 1:10 a.m. after a motorist had called police to report a white pickup truck swerving all over the road, according to police.
A short time after, a Scottsdale officer found the pickup at the intersection of Scottsdale Road and Lincoln. 
According to police, the vehicle, a courtesy car provided by the tournament, its engine running, sat through two green traffic signals without moving. The officer had to wake the 33-year-old Australian, who was removed from the pickup and later arrested with a blood alcohol content over 0.20, well above Arizona's limit of .08.
Reports are that Robert Allenby is insanely jealous of the quality of Bowditch's mug shot... at least I'm hoping that's a mug shot.

Shockingly he missed the cut, though unlike his countryman he took responsibility:


OK, let's not cast him out from polite society just yet....

Today in Phil being... - I watched quite a bit of yesterday's coverage, but they didn't show this:
We started this whole "Today in Phil Mickelson doing Phil Mickelson things" on Thursday as somewhat of a joke. But it didn't take long for the five-time major champ to prove it really could be a daily series. 
Mickelson made birdie from the trees on TPC Scottsdale's 8th hole in the first round and he found himself in a similar spot on Friday in the left rough. Although, this time, the lie was much worse. In fact, Mickelson's ball was so buried that you couldn't see it on TV. 
So of course, he opted to hit a driver off the deck for his approach shot. Yep, a driver off the deck from the rough. From 193 yards. Only Phil.
Video at the link.  As noted in the commentary, that's 8 degrees of loft to hit a ball so deep it's not visible....

It reminds of this wonderful Samuel Johnson quote:
Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.
 Enjoy your weekend, and I'll likely see you next on Monday morning.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Late-Week Loghorrea

This was the view from Unplayable Lies Western HQ this morning:

#things that don't suck
The WD Blues - The great Mark Steyn once noted about Obama's famed 2009 Cairo speech that it was curious to fly halfway around the world just to phone it in....Sigh!

My afternoon e-mail from the nice folks at Twitter included this tweet:


Nah.....C'mon, he flew 17 hours just to spend some quality time with his buddy Sergio....  He's hoping the wind blows and that he can pick up some ground.  He's grinding really hard....

Though there was this from another good friend:
"I look at Tiger, and I can't help but think he looks like an old man," Chamblee said. "He looks like the oldest ... 41-year-old man in the history of the game. I saw him getting out 
Haven't I seen this movie before?
of the bunker on the first hole and he was standing very stiff and upright as he was getting out of the bunker, and he looked like he was walking around protecting an issue that he wasn't speaking to. That's very much what it looked like to me. 
After commenting that Woods' swing looks a lot "slower" and that it lacks "vitality," Chamblee went on to question whether such a swing really is good for Tiger's body.
 He'll fight through it just to show Brandel up....  What?


Hey, great picture, guys.  here's what passes for good news:


So, remind me again what medical school Steiny's degree is from.... Seriously, nothing to do with Tiger's back is good news...

And you know what can't be good for back spasms?  A 17-hour flight home, commercial no less....

Shack had a good round up (too late for my press time yesterday) of Tiger's assurances that he was healthy after his dispiriting opening round.  There was this:
Q. Tiger, just following on that, how are you physically? How have you handled the cold weather and what do you have to do to prepare for days like this? I'm sure it's a process that's more involved than it's ever been. 
TIGER WOODS: It is, it's a long process in the mornings trying to get ready and trying 
No club head speed visible...
to get warmed up. You know, the task and the tall order is to stay warm and stay loose. That's one of the things that I hadn't dealt with. I haven't dealt with at home and we're basically in a dome down there in south Florida. We haven't had to deal with cold, damp conditions like this. It was different. 
But, you know, it's something we had already ‑‑ we had been planning about and thinking about what we needed to do; how to layer up properly, how to stay warm, move around, exercises I may have to do on course while playing, different things how to stay loose and I did.
And this from Alistair Tait:
In seven previous appearances around the Emirates course, Woods’s worst score was a 75 in the final round in 2011. He held a 68.17 stroke average through 28 rounds, and was 92 under. So 77 is actually nine shots above his personal par.

“I wasn’t in pain at all,” said Woods, dismissing suggestions he looked to be walking gingerly. “I was just trying to hit shots and I wasn’t doing a very good job.”
I just want to make a couple of simple points here... obviously I have no idea what's going on with the man medically, but back spasms doesn't seem like a particularly encouraging diagnosis.  That noted, it's clear that can't put much stock in anything Tiger or his mouthpiece tell us....

I can believe that the cold weather at Torrey wasn't helpful last week, and it isn't hard to see that early tee times are an issue, none of which is surprising for one with back issues,  But which mental midget thought a 17-hour flight to chase an appearance fee was a good idea?  It's also warm in Phoenix this time of year....

Lastly, how would you feel if it was your signature on the appearance fee check?  I'd feel that I had gotten taken, and I'd be screaming pretty loud....

 But wait, it gets better.....
Dubai Round 2 suspended due to severe wind, sandstorms
What, no plague, pestilence and slaying of the first born?

Phoenix Phrolics -  Good times from the Valley of the Sun....Mostly for Kooch:
Matt Kuchar eagled the par-5 13th and added two late birdies and a big par save on the
rowdy par-3 16th hole Thursday to take the first-round lead in the Waste Management Phoenix Open. 
Coming off a seven-week break, Kuchar shot a 7-under 64 in perfect afternoon conditions at TPC Scottsdale for a one-stroke lead over defending champion Hideki Matsuyama and Brendan Steele. 
"I was able to be home, able to be dad," Kuchar said about the layoff. "The boys got to play basketball. ... Got to go to the games and it was great fun for me. My boys are 9 and 7. Getting into golf. In the afternoon, we'd sneak out and play a few holes." 
The crowd was estimated at 103,420 on the stadium layout.
Kooch is allegedly boo-proof, though he certainly got booed on No. 16, as did local hero Phil.  'Dems the rules....

 Last week's didn't have the best of days, but glad to see he sill has the Rahmbo jersey....

As for that other ASU alum, Alex Myers has a summary of Phil Being Phil, Today's Version.  All I know is that he shot 68 (3-under) seemingly without visiting a fairway.  And he had this oh-so-very-Phil response to a query about his pairing:
Q. Speaking of the 59s, you're playing with the last 59 shooters. What do you make of that grouping? 
PHIL MICKELSON: I'm playing with Justin Thomas, Adam Hadwin. Yeah, they've both shot 59. I'm envious of that. I really am. But I have won this tournament three times and they haven't. We both have something to be jealous about.
Fair enough.  But what have you done lately?

A pretty decent leaderboard, though of course it's early days...  But we need something to amuse us until Sunday evening.

Today in POTUS Golf News -  A setback in one piece of litigation:
U.S. District Judge Kenneth Marra ruled Wednesday in favor of former members who filed suit against Trump National Golf Club Jupiter, ordering the club to pay the former
members $5.77 million. 
The class action suit was filed, alleging Trump in breach of contract for illegally changing these club rules. 
The former members were seeking some $4.85 million in deposits. Marra ordered that amount plus some $925,000 in interest be awarded to the former members.
I am shocked...Shocked I tell you, that our hero would take advantage of club members.  Though this was no doubt the most amusing bit in the decision:
"At all times relevant to this lawsuit, Donald J. Trump was a private citizen. As a result, the Court will refer to him as such in this decision. In doing so, the Court means no disrespect to him or to the esteemed position he now holds," Marra wrote.
That last bit is a microaggression, Your Honor.  On the other hand, is you're expecting tis blog to be a safe space, you've not been paying attention.

But our second item is the truly shocking one, as Alan Shipnuck checked out Trump's new Dubai golf course:
DUBAI—In these contentious times, we finally found one thing that can be agreed upon 
The Par-3 17th.
by Muslims and Christians, Democrats and Republicans, Phil fans and Tiger fans: Trump International Golf Club Dubai is one helluva course. The grand opening of the club is still two weeks away, but a nonpartisan visit on Wednesday revealed a course that traverses highly imaginative (man-made) terrain, boasting a thrilling variety of risk-reward holes, interesting greens and gloriously firm turf that promotes the ground game and accentuates the many challenging runoffs around the putting surfaces. There is nary a waterfall, Roman statuary or other hokum that blights lesser properties in the Trump golf empire. No, the President has created something that is – dare we say it? —understated.
 It's a Gil Hanse design, so it was never going to suck...  I'll give you one more sort excerpt:
Of course, most of the credit goes to course architect Gil Hanse. Rather than the flat, boring target golf that is typical of Middle Eastern courses, Trump Dubai evokes the style and substance Hanse's Olympic Course in Rio. Both tracks were built on featureless sites, bringing to mind the old Robert Trent Jones maxim, "Minimum land requires maximum architecture."
True that, though I always thought that quote was attributed to Pete Dye....

We Know How This Ends -  We're back on the 2020 Olympic golf course, and well, you know the first rule of holes:
Last month we told you that Kasumigaseki Country Club, site of the 2020 Olympic golf
competition, was under fire for its policy towards women. Though Kasumigaseki does have females in its membership, women are prevented from full rights, and are prohibited from playing on Sundays. But with pressure from the international golf community and local politicians -- "I feel very uncomfortable about women not being able to become a regular member in this era," said Toyko governor Yuriko Koike -- to change the guidelines, many believed the matter would be handled before the arrival of the Summer Games. 
However, according to the Japan Times, after Tokyo organizers received a request from the International Olympic Committee to resolve the problem, the Japan Golf Association responded it had "no issues to address" with Kasumigaseki. 
“There’re 212 female members and there’ve been no complaints about the way they are treated or the rights they have. The door is wide open for female players,” read a JGC statement.
Cynics will say that it's difficult to man (relax, it's just a fixure of speech)  the barricades when your feet are bound.  I say this is just a local culture that's as valid as our own.... actually I don't care much, but Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has taken up the issue, and we know they will have to relent or the event will be moved.

A Small Price To Pay - Be still my foolish heart:
It might largely have gone unnoticed the other day, but a group advocating that California secede from the United States got the go-ahead to begin collecting signatures for a ballot measure.

But humoring the secessionists for a moment, let’s just stipulate that they do succeed. It would not be good for golf. 
It would not come to a vote until 2019, not soon enough to force the U.S. Open to move from Pebble Beach that year. But, assuming the USGA wants to keep its national championships in the United States, at least two other U.S. Opens would have to relocate, the 2021 Open scheduled to be played at Torrey Pines in San Diego and the 2023 Open at the Los Angeles Country Club. 
The 2021 U.S. Women’s Open, meanwhile, would have to move from the Olympic Club in San Francisco and the 2020 PGA Championship would have to be yanked from the TPC Harding Park, also in San Francisco, unless the PGA of America finally accedes to requests that it occasionally take its showcase event to a foreign country.
 So, you're saying that there's a chance?  Actually not....
There is zero chance that California and its advocates at Yes California, as the group is known, will secede, notwithstanding that a large swath of the country no doubt would be in favor of it.
Man, you're a downer....  Though the only one of those events I'd truly mourn is at LACC. 

Thursday, February 2, 2017

'Dis and 'Dat

Sorry, I simply refuse to start with the Striped One....

Phoenix On My Mind - Van Cynical is here to help pump up the volume for this week's event, but even before we get to his 8 reasons he manages to....errr....titillate:
This is not your typical golf tournament. But of course, you already know that. The Waste Management Phoenix Open has always been golf’s biggest, loudest and wildest
party. Also its only party since pro golf isn’t exactly Woodstock. Or even Lilith Fair. 
Even so, I was mildly surprised when I decided to stretch my legs and walk TPC Scottsdale’s back nine on a Tuesday afternoon one year. Two minutes into the exercise -- two minutes! -- I passed a threesome of men behind the luxury suites along the 18th fairway and heard the tallest man ask the others, “Whadda you guys wanna do now? Ti--y bar?” 
I doubt if those words have ever been uttered at the Masters, and certainly not at 3 o’clock on a Tuesday.
Ummmm Gary, anyone that knows the seediness of Washington Road knows that you'd more likely hear that at ANGC, than say at Pebble Beach.  But shall we move on?

OK, his 8 reasons are really 8 iterations of one reason, such as this:
4. Who are these people?
You can write a column just about the weird stuff you overhear on the course from spectators. One man on his phone: “Give my dog a kiss for me.” Another: “Blah-blah-transvestite-blah-blah…” A group of eight or nine guys dressed up in wildly-designed Loudmouth slacks and posed for pictures with spectators on request. A group of formal teens arrived practically prom-ready, the guys in suits and bowties and the girls in sun-dresses. Part of the fun, apparently, is calling attention to yourself. You probably already know about that if you’re on Facebook.
 He also recycles this story that's too good to fact check:
The Bird’s Nest is behind player Kenny Perry’s oft-told story about checking into a local hotel and being asked by the desk clerk if he was playing in the tournament. He confirmed that he was and the woman replied, “Oh, I love the Phoenix Open. I go every night!”
This from his opening 'graph pretty much sums it up:
The Waste Management Phoenix Open has always been golf’s biggest, loudest and wildest party. Also its only party since pro golf isn’t exactly Woodstock. Or even Lilith Fair.
Blimpus Interruptus -  How sad is this, from Golfweek's Forecaddie (don't blame me for the crude screenshot, the page doesn't allow for excerpts):


So it'll feel like the Masters?  Joking aside, the blimps have become an integral part of the coverage, only a portion of which can be captured by fixed wing aircraft.  

Two things before we move on.  Don't miss this Facebook Live video of Bubba and Mark Wahlberg playing the 16th in the ProAm.  It's a fun inside the ropes peak at the mayhem and, spoiler alert, with Bubba providing the play-by-play, Marky (off the) Mark hits the dreaded hosel rocket.....Go ahead, you know you want to look.

Lastly, I'll refer you to this Peter Burkowski feature on the evolution of the event from a year ago.  Well worth a few minutes of your time....

Dubai-Bye - Your humble correspondent was in wind-down mode last evening, when I flipped to Golf Channel.  At that moment they were showing Tiger on the range in preparation for his opening round in Dubai, speculating as to whether his glutes would activate and other pressing issues.  I gave a brief thought to taping the coverage, then decided that I'd suffered enough.

I awoke to this header:
Tiger Woods struggles in Dubai, shoots 77 in first round
Thud!  Let's see, we were excusing last week because of the cold, the thick rough and/or that Torrey South is a brute, none of which applies here.  
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) -- Missing fairways, missing greens and piling up
the putts, Tiger Woods got off to a rough start at the Dubai Desert Classic. 
The 14-time major winner finished the first round with a 5-over 77, failing to record even one birdie on Thursday at the Emirates Golf Club. 
"Well, I didn't hit the ball very well," said Woods, a two-time champion in Dubai. "I left probably about 16 putts short. I just couldn't get the speed of these things, and consequently, it added up to a pretty high number." 
At the halfway stage of the first round, Woods had the second worst score among those who finished. Sergio Garcia was the early leader at 7-under 65.
No birdies?  On that golf course?  There were a few 78's from the afternoon wave, when presumably the wind picked up a bit.  And the noted Ahmed Marjan posted a 79....

Should we start with the good or bad news?  Trick question, as there's none of the former:
Strong wind was forecast for Friday, making the prospect of picking up some strokes in the second round a bit difficult. 
"Hopefully, this wind blows tomorrow and I shoot a good round and get back to even par now. That's certainly not out of the realms," Woods said. "But I have to go out there and do it. I have to go out there and execute and it's going to be tough and hopefully it is tough and I can play a really solid round and give myself more looks."
Tiger's problem is that he'll go in the afternoon, when the wind would logically be at its peak.  More importantly, wind is the greatest test of golf skill, because if you don't flush it you put additional spin on the ball, with which the wind plays havoc.

Tiger flew commercial to Dubai, so one assumes the trip home is the same.  Adding insult to injury will be the $200 change fee from his airline to move the reservation from Sunday to Friday evening.  Unless, of course, he wants to stay around to watch his buddy Sergio....

Before we get to the carnage, Tiger shared his swing thought with us earlier in the week:
"The simplest thing is I just play away from pain," Woods said. “Whether my swing looks classic, rhythmical or it may look unorthodox, I don’t care. As long as I don’t feel
that nerve pain.
"Anyone in here who has ever had nerve pain in their back or anywhere in their spine, it’s like hitting your funny bone a thousand times a day. It’s just not fun. I would much rather not have to go through that again.”
Back pain is crippling, so I don't want to be flippant about it....  But he tells us that he hasn't experienced that pain in the three events he's now played, and he felt good enough to spend 17 hours flying across the world chasing an appearance fee...

John Huggan with the details on said carnage:
It wasn’t all about misdirection with the irons though. Again displaying a disquietingly cautious gait and a stiff and ungainly finish to his supposedly “pain-free” swing, Woods
struggled to make any real headway on a day when he only rarely strung more than one or two good shots together. Almost every hole was marked by mistakes that turned birdie chances into pars and pars into bogeys. 
There was a half-thinned pitch from hard pan to the (almost reachable) par-4 second. Three from the back edge of the par-5 third green provoked a loudly audible four-letter oath that at least confirmed a continuing passion for improvement. And the weak approach to the sixth green, off a long and straight 316 yard drive that actually split the often-elusive fairway, betrayed the lack of penetration that currently marks Woods’ shots. Inevitably, three-putts followed. 
Ironically, the best putt Woods holed all day came on the 18th (his ninth), albeit it was a 12-footer for bogey after an unscheduled visit to the water in front of the putting surface. But the biggest smile of the day belonged to Woods’ playing partner, 22-year-old Matt Fitzpatrick. Competing alongside his boyhood hero for the first time, the young Englishman was positively giddy after completing his own round of 69
There's no blogging manual to consult to know how much time we should give him to get back in fighting shape, but it doesn't seem that any aspect of his game is Tour standard.  

Earlier in the week he got a vote of confidence from a knowledgeable source:
While Woods missed the cut at Torrey Pines, a place he’s won eight times at as a professional, McIlroy said he saw some good signs. 
“If you look at his backswing, where he’s taking the club away, where he’s putting the club at the top of the swing, it’s really good,” McIlroy said. “It’s so on plane. And if he can just get his lower body to work a little bit better through the ball, he’s right there. He’s so close. … He’s closer than people think, I can assure you that.”
Perhaps Rory should have left it there:
McIlroy also said he believes Woods’ start this week in Dubai will be “a much better gauge of how he’s playing.”
Thud!

Or we could just blame it all on his mother:
Every son might love getting a call from his mom, but not at 2 a.m. That’s when Tiger’s mother, Kultida, called him for a wee chat. Oops! 
“I’m feeling pretty good. I’m tired,” Woods said. “My mom called me about 2 in the morning last night and woke me up, and asked me how I was doing. I said, ‘Mom, you realize there’s a nine-hour time difference?’ And so I’ll get a good rest this afternoon and be ready for tomorrow.”
Funny, he doesn't look Jewish....

Oh, one last note, Marky Mark isn't the only guy shanking it... and this one has his name on his golf bag.

Shot And A Beer - OK, I lied just the former.... A fun piece on mostly second-tier players sharing the greatest shot they ever saw played.  It's mostly shots no one remembers, with the exception of Seve's car park shot at Lytham.  I'll share this one that I do remember:
JAMES HAHN

The greatest shot I ever saw was one that almost beat me. It was Dustin Johnson at Riviera in 2015. It was the first playoff hole, No. 10, a [drivable] par 4. DJ's tee shot goes into greenside rough: thick lie, bad angle, over a bunker, and he had to stop it quickly. I tell my caddie, "No way he gets this inside 10 feet." He did. He hit it high, a soft bunker-style swing that somehow checked to three feet. There's a lot more to DJ than his power.
Spoiler alert, more Phil than Tiger....

Silly Stuff - A few oddball items that might tickle your funny bone:

Watch Jon Rahm replicate the awkwardly upright swing of Bryson DeChambeau.

Golf Digest has a slideshow of  The seven most terrifying par 3s on the PGA Tour.  Amusingly, none of the animal-themed Florida Par-3's make the list...

Do you remember Omar Uresti?  If so, you need to get out more....  But he's now most famous for being the guy paired with Tiger when the latter made his ace at No. 16 back in 1997.  Omar shares this with us:
A few lines stick out, including Uresti admitting to getting a little cocky after going first and hitting his shot tight: 
"Unfortunately, I made the mistake of thinking to myself, 'let's see you hit it closer than that.'"
Admittedly it'd be funnier if have verbalized it....  other good stuff there, including another missed high-fives by Tour pros.... Thank God they didn't try for a chest bump.


If you haven't seen this, it's pretty funny (you might want to lower the volume though) - Watch toddler lose his mind after Jon Rahm sinks his winning eagle putt

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Midweek Musings

A slow and sluggish start to the day, so just a few quick items and I'll let you get on with your day....

The Loudest Hole In Golf - Are you sick of it yet?  You know the drill, drunken louts screaming, players throwing trinkets into the stands, caddie races....  Actually, those last two have been proscribed by the Tour, it's a wonder they even let them sell alcohol...

Chances are I posted this last year, but I'm too lazy to dig through the archives, but it's still fun:


The strangest of facts remains that they build this stadium anew each year, as opposed to leaving it in place.  And it's such a nothing golf hole on its own merits, it must feel bewildering to the tourists that come to play the famed 16th hole.

Shack speculates that there must be some sort of legal or zoning issue, which sounds right.  But perhaps Trump can intervene and make TPC Scottsdale 16th Great 24-7.  I'd add speakers and crowd noise for the visitors, including boos when they miss the green.

As I've discussed previously, the insufferable purist in me requires that I keep a bit of emotional distance from this spectacle...  just can't let the mask slip.  But I'm actually OK with it, as it developed organically and, most importantly, hasn't been copied by other events.  In a way, this is a case study for other events in how to differentiate themselves form the pack.  This scene isn't for everyone, but there's no law requiring one to play in it.

And, as a reminder of how this has evolved, here's the video of Tiger's ace from 1997.  Notice the absence of grandstands: 



Watch Patrick Reed wow the crowd with a trick shot here.  Even earned praise from Caesar The Bryan Brothers...

I'm awaiting Bubba's pre-tourney comments this year, as he got himself into hot water last go around.  He had the temerity to note that he didn't really like the golf course, but was there to support his great sponsors (including Ping, which is based in Phoenix).  Oh the inhumanity of man....  can you imagine the arrogance?  But the think is, he's quite right....  It was an acceptable version of desert golf, nothing special but also nothing too extreme.

Then Mr. Wesikopf decided that what was needed was faux Coffin and Church Pew bunkers, no doubt under the misguided notion that they're indigenous to the surrounds.  And the latter of those specifically designed to deter the long hitters, such as out Bubba, from taking the straight line off the tee on the finishing hole....  And don't get me started on the blindingly white sand that's visible from the Space Station....

The Merchandise Show - I'm not a gearhead nor do I play one on TV, but it seemed from my vantage point that this year's PGA Merchandise show came and went without much buzz.  I had one short item a few days ago but, according to Tony Covey at MyGolfSpy.com, I'm not imagining things:
While the daily propaganda blasts from show organizers might have you believe otherwise, I’m here to tell you that the 2017 PGA Show was an absolute sloth. With
noticeably light traffic in the aisles and plenty of open space (both on the show floor and the range at demo day), 2017’s easily qualifies as the most depressing PGA Show during my time in the industry. 
Take it for whatever it’s worth, but several of my media colleagues (and others I’ve spoken with from inside the industry) are in complete agreement. Call it a worse show on the heels of a bad show on the heels of a not so good show.
C'mon Tony, tell us what you really think.  Now Tony goes on to talk at length about the sow, including these two seemingly contradictory insights:
TaylorMade Won the PGA Show

Maybe that’s overstating it just a bit, but if you’re looking for the defining moment of the 2017 PGA Show, it was TaylorMade’s announcement that it had signed Tiger Woods to a 
long-term deal. Tiger will eventually play 13 TaylorMade clubs. For now, it’s just metalwoods in the bag, as the company willfully admits it’s going to take some time to develop irons and wedges that are suitable for the notoriously difficult Mr. Woods. 
The announcement at 8:30 AM of Day 1 of the indoor session overshadowed absolutely everything else at the show. Lost in the Tiger news; Michelle Wie signed with Callaway, PING released its Sigma G line of putters, and Titleist formally announced a new generation of Pro V1 and Pro V1x golf balls.
OK, but were they still buxxing after he went 5-over on four holes on the back nine Thursday?  OK, but then this:
The TaylorMade/adidas situation is getting weird 
And speaking of TaylorMade…while the PGA Show booths were side by side, for the first time I can recall, you couldn’t walk directly from the adidas booth to the TaylorMade booth. We’re talking a firm or at least a semi-firm barrier between the two brands. 
While future ownership of the TaylorMade brands remains unsettled, it appears to be operating as an adidias company in name only. I would describe the current relationship between the two brands as married, but sleeping in separate bedrooms.
Metaphorically speaking, both sides are holding it together for the sake of the children, but there is a clear division between the two. While the addition of Tiger Woods is inarguably good for the TaylorMade brand, it has also served to expand the growing internal rift.
I'll pause to allow you to appreciate the world-class trolling involved in using such an analogy in the very same paragraph as a discussion of Tiger....

If you're at all interested in the subject, Tony is your guy....  He's got a lot more in the linked piece, so have at it...

 Ben Hogan, RIP - CEO Scott White went Mark Twain on us a few weeks ago, but while we like a good quip as much as the next guy....
Ben Hogan Golf Equipment Co. filed for bankruptcy over the weekend, less than a
month after it laid off the bulk of its workforce in Fort Worth.
The Chapter 11 petition, filed with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Fort Worth on Saturday, lists both assets and liabilities between $1 million and $10 million. Among its top creditors are Perry Ellis International, which licensed the Hogan name to the company, owed $267,500, and Conti Edgecliff-Sias LLC, its landlord in south Fort Worth, owed $77,256.74.

I thought the irons looked good but, in a stopped-clock moment, here's one thing I got right:
Introduced at a time when the golf business has been in the rough, the new Hogan clubs took the novel approach of numbering irons by loft -- anywhere from 20 degrees to 63 -- instead of the traditional 2-9 plus wedges.

Last August, Koehler was replaced as president and CEO by Scott White, who previously worked as an executive at both Callaway Golf and TaylorMade. In November, the company said it would add the traditional 2-9 numbers on the hosels of the clubs.
I'm certainly not saying that's what killed them, but do you know the loft on your 7-iron?  It was just a needless complication, as the vast majority of players is perfectly fine with 4 degrees between each of their irons....  let them focus on wedge and wood lofts above and below the set of irons.

Nt sure they would have made it anyway, but I thought PXG would hurt them the most.  Bob Parsons and his unlimited budget sucked any reminsing oxygen out of the equipment business....

Tiger Nostalgia -  For those hoping Tiger could recapture the magic at Torrey, Thursday had to come as a shock to the system.  I'm over it, but Sean Zak has some fun with his nostalgia... He takes one picture from the 2008 Monday playoff, this one, and does a deep dive:


I'm not even going to bother with an excerpt, just give him a click and watch him provide many of those spectators their 15 minutes of fame.

On oyther breaking Tiger news, Tiger takes advantage of the Euro Tour's dress code:


My God, those are worse than his Dad jeans....don't they have tailors in Jupiter?

Perhaps even stranger, is that Tiger got to Dubai flying commercial!  Yup, you heard me right... and it didn't go smoothly:
The 14-time major champion and former World No. 1 stuck around in San Diego after missing the cut at the Farmers Insurance Open before flying to Los Angeles for his connection -- his first commercial flight in about 10 years. 
But Woods, like most everyone else at LAX, found himself snarled in a widespread protest over President Donald Trump’s executive order banning travelers from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering the United States. 
“We were on the other side of the terminal. You could see it,” Woods told ESPN.com. “But we just couldn't get there.”
Breaking Sergio News - I know, it's the oxymoron of the day....  This story shows that he at least has a sense of humor....or something:
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence," Calvin Coolidge once said. Mark Johnson took that guidance to heart. 
For Johnson tweeted at Sergio Garcia for 206 straight days, each message containing the same request: let me caddie for you.

Don't you just love a happy ending....  Mark, just a word of advice from an experienced hand, make sure you have possession of his 8-iron at all times.  Trust me on this....

But I thought this header at Golfweek was needlessly hurtful:
Can Jon Rahm win a major before Sergio Garcia?
Salt, wound.....  and how about this:
Although Garcia didn’t say it, some feel the former Arizona standout may join the major club before Garcia.
Some?  I'd have gone with something between "all" or "most" but, interestingly, that includes Sergio himself, who is on record saying that he's not good enough to win a major....