Tuesday Trifles

Nothing too taxing today, just enough to ensure that you don't miss me tomorrow.

WWAD -  I sort of missed the confluence of appeals to authority in the matter of Phil v. USGA, which are both amusing and equally ahistorical.  Shall we dive in, notwithstanding the fact that you have no clue what the heck I'm talking about?  Why not, it's never stopped us before.

First up, Alistair Tait:

How Would Arnie Have Acted, Phil?

It's takes Alistair a bit of time to get to the crux of the matter, but this is it:

Maybe the most perplexing aspect to Phil Mickelson is that he’s modelled his career on the late, great Arnold Palmer. Mickelson said as a young professional he saw the way Palmer acted within
the game and decided that would be his approach too. It’s why he goes out of his way to sign so many autographs, a policy he’s to be lauded for.

You can bet Palmer would never have stooped to calling the game’s rulers stupid. Too bad Phil didn’t think about that before hitting the Tweet button.

As you know, I break the Lewfty phenomenon down into Good Phil and Bad Phil, and I can certainly see traces of The King in the former...  

I had bid a premature farewell to the Desert Sun's Larry Bohannan after news broke of the demise of the Dinah, but he had a similar take on an earlier rules kerfuffle:

What would Arnold Palmer do?: The King might frown on rules in-fighting

Palmer, of course, is the man who taught a couple of generations of golfers what it means to be a

pro. How you interact with fans, with the media and with other players and officials is important, Palmer believed. And Palmer had the credentials as a player, designer and businessman to make others pay attention and follow his lead.

Would Palmer approve of the public bickering by players and officials over the new rules? Those who knew Palmer the best might find that very unlikely. At the very least, Palmer would have wanted to see a little more civility.

Interestingly, that man in the accompanying photo comes in for the harshest criticism, a man whose more recent behavior has caused your humble blogger to reassess his opinion of that alleged gentleman.  Here's Larry's rousing coda:

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stop seeing tweets and Facebook posts from players about where a drop should be made from, what a water hazard is now and how the rules are making golf into a joke? Wouldn’t it be nice if the players played by the rules on the course while talking to the USGA and the PGA Tour behind closed doors?

I think that’s what Arnold would have done.

I'm not all buying in to the premise that these discussions should be had behind closed doors.  Quite frankly, that creates more problems than it solves, and I think the USGA's comment periods are a bit of a sham, whereby they create the perception but not the reality of being responsive.

But what is most interesting in these citations is that they almost completely ignore what many consider the biggest misstep in the King's golfing life, which is hinted at in this ESPN feature from the early aughts:

Picking on Palmer the wrong choice for USGA

Let's set aside for a moment the specific argument over the most recent technological gizmo that

threatens the very sanctity of golf as a sport -- it's a driver that can add distance off the tee, as opposed to the last five dozen generations of drivers that added distance off the tee -- and focus on the bigger picture. It is this: Has there ever been a worse idea than picking a fight with one of the sport's all-time icons?

Did you see the United States Golf Association trying to take on Arnold Palmer in the court of public opinion over this Callaway driver issue? It's like trying to get people to side with the power company and grant that 50 percent rate increase. Is there a place in America where observers are going to look at Arnie, look at the USGA's latest interpretation of its own rules, and conclude, "Sure, the old guy's lost it. Let's go with the bureaucrats?"

Answer: Nope. Nowhere. Never. You'd get a better response setting the flag on fire than going after Arnold Palmer. At least on the flag issue, there'd be a thimbleful of people in your corner.

Arnie's apostasy was to recommend the use of non-conforming equipment for recreational golfers, and it sure did get testy for a while:

To the USGA, however, it is a major problem; and why? Because Palmer sits as the honorary chairman of the USGA's membership program, as he has done for each of the past 25 years. And to have a person in such a position as Palmer's publicly touting a club development to which the USGA has not yet given its sacred blessing apparently constitutes a serious breach -- so serious, in fact, that the USGA briefly removed Palmer from his spokes-role before yielding Monday to the incredibly negative public reaction to its misguided move.

"We can't have a guy as a visible spokesperson who is championing not playing by the rules," USGA president Trey Holland said at one point. Right, that's pretty much how Americans view Arnold Palmer, as one of those rogue golfers who carries the 17 clubs in the bag and scoops balls out of the water hazards when nobody's looking. Good Lord, you don't suppose he'll be asking to ride in a cart next, do you?

The USGA's opposition to Callaway's driver could be considered the issue here, except that mostly it isn't. If the ERC II indeed consistently adds distance off the tee, then it is going to be taken up by exactly the kinds of recreational hackmeisters and chili-dip specialists to whom Palmer recommended the club in the first place. It's got nothing to do with the USGA's official sanction of the club.

And even on that count, golly, is the USGA sure this is what it wants? Golf's other governing body, the Royal & Ancient, already approved the ERC II for competition. Guess they weren't able to borrow the USGA's famous spring-o-meter before their ruling.

I'm still not sure how I feel about this, though perhaps the most important bit was this:

Palmer laid low on the controversy over the last couple of days, and it was exactly the right thing to do.

Whereas Phil only knows to double down...There's lots of differences in the two incidents, but Arnie did what he thought was right for the game, doing his best to depersonalize the inevitable conflict with the governing body.  Phil called them stupid and amateurs, and then apparently expects them to appreciate the complexity of his worldview.  I've always found that leads to productive exchanges, how about you?

The level of baggage he brings to process is a bit of an issue as well.  Tait made the point that he apologized for his actions at Shinny, though I feel compelled to remind folks that at first he sent Amy out to render the initial apology.  It's also come out that he's offered apologies to at least two Ryder Cup captains (Watson and Sutton), so have a man with perhaps more mea culpas than Tour wins.  Just sayin'...

Before we move on from this issue, the Tour Confidential panel had their own thoughts on it:

3. The USGA on Tuesday announced that tournament organizers will have the option to limit club length to 46 inches under a new local rule that will go into effect on Jan. 1. The rules modification — the current maximum allowable club length is 48 inches — will not affect most golfers but is an effort by the governing bodies to keep driving distances in check at the elite levels of the game. To that point, the PGA, European and LPGA Tours all said they would implement the new rule in their events. As expected, a few players, most notably Phil Mickelson, who used a 47.9-inch driver to win the PGA Championship in May, reacted to the news negatively. “‘Stupid is as stupid does.’ Mrs Gump,” Mickelson wrote on Twitter, continuing, “Really though, are the amateurs trying their best to govern the professional game the stupid ones? Or the professionals for letting them?” Where do you stand? Any issues with the new local rule?

Bamberger: The only issue is the biggest one: The USGA should never have let it get to this in the first place. The game has changed radically, through the lenient way the USGA has monitored the equipment with which we play. You can talk all day and into the night about the march of technology. I don’t think it’s made golf better.

Sens: Right. Fair to take aim at that historical laxness. But not at this latest decision, which was also made with input from a players committee, something Mickelson’s tweet ignores.

Ignores or lies about?  We saw this in a ore important context with the anchored-putting ban, where they were fine with it until guys started winning majors with it.  In a certain sense they can't help but be reactive, though with putting it took several decades for them to respond. 

Piastowski: Good point, Michael! The frustration is that the USGA is being reactive instead of being proactive. Did no one think that a driver at 48 inches would go farther? My issue then is that I hope this doesn’t begin a cycle of ‘Player finds an advantage, player wins, governing body reacts, repeat.’ Let’s hope the governing bodies can get ahead of things going forward.

Colgan: The spitball was pretty unpopular when it was banned, too. Some decisions have to come at the expense of the players for the benefit of the sport, lest golf wind up in a similar quandary to the one facing baseball today. Scale back the tech, save the sport — seems like a fair tradeoff to me.

Melton: This seems like a cop-out move by the USGA. It won’t have much of a tangible effect with only 3 percent of players using a >46-inch driver (per their own stats), but now the Blue Blazers can point to it as an equipment “rollback” that is so obviously needed at the professional level. Driver length is the least of their worries.

That's why I flagged that Thomas Pagel comment yesterday.  If this is all there is, it doesn't even rise to the level of cop-out.  If it's a test case for further action using local rules, then let's see what that means.  Which is basically where they go next:

4. The proposal to dial back the permitted club length was first announced in February of this year. Also announced then were potential updates on ball and driver testing. And it also discussed “research topics/areas of interest” — specifically, “the potential use of a Local Rule that would specify the use of clubs and/or balls intended to result in shorter hitting distances,” and “a review of the overall conformance specifications for both clubs and balls.” What further steps do you see golf’s governing bodies taking, if any?

Bamberger: I see the governing buddies huddling with lawyers and trying to identify ways they can make continue to govern, and make 7,000 yards meaningful again for Tour players, without being clobbered with lawsuits.

Sens: The ball. It’s gotta be the ball. Which does not mean Michael is wrong about the lawyers.

Piastowski: Josh is right. Seems like the ball is the next step. Make it a universal one, with exceptions for how a player likes to play. It takes the science away, yes. But how far can you bend the rules anyway without eventually running afoul of them? And this way, everyone can still manufacture too.

Colgan: Goodness, Josh, I hope you’re right. Scaling back the ball is such a no-brainer solution to this issue. Sure, somebody’s going to be angry. But somebody’s always going to be angry. This is the easiest, simplest way to bring everything back to earth.

Melton: Bifurcation would be great to see. I have no problem with watching the pros reigned in a little bit and bringing a bit more finesse back to the sport.

Ummm, Zephyr, we just saw an example of bifurcation.... Calling rolling back the ball a "no-brainer" is probably not helpful.  I agree it's the obvious thing to address, but so many feedlots will be threatened that it'll require some profound political skills. 

The Rules Are An Ass - Don't take the above item as any indication that I consider the USGA above criticism, though in this case I'm unclear as to whether thye are to blame.  In any event, Ian Woosnam say hello to Rachel Rohanna:

The first time Rachel Rohanna graduated from the Symetra Tour in 2015, she squeaked in the final card by $284. It was a valuable every-shot-counts lesson.

Earlier this year during the final round of the Copper Rock Championship, Rohanna reached into her bag to pull out a club and discovered that daughter Gemelia’s 23-inch club had slipped to the bottom. She called over a rules official and received a four-stroke penalty for having a U.S. Kids 7-iron as her 15th club.

Rohanna, 30, couldn’t help but look at the money list to see how much the oversight had cost her. Could that $900 be what keep her from earning back her LPGA card?

“That was haunting me the entire time,” said Rohanna, who ultimately finished 10th on the Symetra Tour money list to once again earn the last card. This time, however, $4,429 separated her from No. 11 Beth Wu.

It's a lovely Beth Ann Nichols tribute to a lovely young family that hasn't let the demands of life and careers deter them from starting a family.  All that is well and good, I'm just obsessed by a simple question, to wit, how can a 23-inch plastic club constitute a fifteenth club?  seriously, even though it is in some technical sense a golf club, it is quite logically unusable for an adult and  are we truly incapable of applying judgement and rational thoughts to such one-off occurrences?  

Because in this case I'm forced to agree with Phil, that stupid is as stupid does.

He's Got Hal Sutton's Vote - Jim Furyk was prett dreadful, but you'd excused for thinking that Hal Sutton has retired the Champions Belt of Stupid Ryder Cup captains.  But wait, there's this tall, lanky guy in the shadows saying, "Hold my beer":

Can you picture Dustin Johnson being a Ryder Cup captain?

Johnson can.

“I would love to do it one day,” he said Wednesday after his pro-am in the CJ Cup at The Summit Club. “I think it would be fun. I think I would be a good captain.

“It’s something that I definitely would like to do at some point.”

DJ, those two references to you thinking are breaking news...

This to me is amusing, in that it kind of settles that 2014 Phil v. Watson debate, no?

And his simplistic approach to the game could work nicely in the intense pressure of the Ryder Cup. Johnson said he thinks he’d be a good captain because he would keep things simple.

“Well, I feel like I would let the guys just do their thing,” he said. “I think that’s most important. The players are very good, I don’t need to tell them how to play a golf course or tell them what to do, but just put them in the situation where they can succeed. I feel like I’ve got a good relationship with most of the players out here, and hopefully I’ll be out here long enough to where I’ll know the guys that are going to be on the team.”

Now, DJ missed that 2014 Ryder Cup, recovering from his jet-ski accident coke bender., so perhaps he didn't get the memo about pods.  But it's almost as if he thinks it's just about those twelve players, not any gimmicks from the captain.  Hopefully that means Phil won't be in the running for one of those vice-captaincies.... 

The TC panel was on this one as well:

6. At the CJ Cup, Dustin Johnson was asked if he’d be interested in captaining the U.S. Ryder Cup squad someday. “Yeah, I would love to do it one day,” he said. “Yeah, I think it would be fun. I think I would be a good captain. It’s something that I definitely would like to do at some point.” What kind of qualities would you imagine Capt. DJ would bring to the table?

Sens: I doubt there would be a lot of stress or worry. What he’d do with all the data and analytics, I can’t hazard to say.

Bamberger: Johnson’s genius as a golfer would serve him well as a captain. See ball, hit ball. See lineup card, fill out lineup card. All the rest is commentary. I doubt he’d bother with captain’s picks. Just take ‘em right off the list. 

 And the evidence of DJ's golfing genius would be what?  Go ahead, Mike, I've got all day...

Piastowski: If the team liked captain Steve Stricker’s laid-back attitude, they’re going to love DJ’s.

Colgan: I asked Dustin back in September what advice he’d give some of the youngsters on the Ryder Cup team in Wisconsin, given his status as the team’s most experienced player. He shrugged. “Probably nothing, honestly,” he said. “If they asked me, I’d help. But if they don’t, I’ll just keep my mouth shut.” I think there’s something to be learned from that about his leadership style. Hands off, to be sure, but maybe his teammates would like that.

Melton: Captain DJ would either be a smashing hit or an unmitigated disaster. It’d be quality entertainment either way.

Thanks for narrowing it down for us, Zephyr.  But, again, if the results can be anything on that spectrum, that confirms that captains don't matter, once again proving Tom Watson correct. 

Cheap Shots - A few below-the-belt bits that are totally beneath the dignity of your humble blogger:

Waste Management Phoenix Open to kick off tournament week with a concert on 16th hole

The Waste Management Phoenix Open has added a Concert at the Coliseum to its live music programming for 2022.

Thomas Rhett and Old Dominion will take the stage at the iconic 16th hole for the inaugural Concert at the Coliseum on Saturday, Feb. 5, providing fans with an earlier start date for the festivities.

The Phoenix Open week runs Monday, Feb. 7, through Sunday, Feb. 13.

Were the Chainsmokers booked?   What, you thought I had forgotten that bit?

So, I'm not a Twitter guy, but I did sign up once and so I technically have a Twitter feed.  The Eamon Lynch piece of this popped up in said Twitter feed, and I though we had evidence of cats and dogs living harmoniously.  Not so, but I think you'll agree it's funny:

— Eamon Lynch (@eamonlynch) October 17, 2021

Heh!  Of course, that leads to the fun parlor game of how each of us would answer....For your humble blogger, a few thoughts pop into mind:

- This Joe Biden return to normalcy sure is working out well.

- Is there anything more interesting than Tom Fazio's nuanced approach to architecture?

 - How great would it be to have a beer with Patrick Reed?

Just spitballin' here.  Let me know if you'd like more....

Lastly, we limit ourselves to highbrow humor here at Unplayable Lies:

— Adam Schupak (@AdamSchupak) September 14, 2021

I'll see y'all later in the week.