'Dis and 'Dat

It's a tough week at our end, so I do hope that you all are doing better.  The best thing right now is to lose myself in the blogging...  If only we had Nurse Ratched to kick around a little....  What?  Maybe there is a God after all?

A Hard (Hall) Pass - The World Golf Hall of Fame has been doling out the good news, first with Tiger (Duh!) and Marion Hollins (Amen!).  I'm sure their next selection will be equally worthy:

Longtime PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem has joined Tiger Woods and Marion Hollins in the 2021 World Golf Hall of Fame class, announced by the WGHOF Monday. 

Finchem joins the Hall in the “contributor” category, and is quite deserving. During 22 years overseeing the Tour, Finchem’s career aligned almost identically with the Tour career’s of Woods and Phil Mickelson.

Thud!

Timing is everything, but see what you think of this:

It has been widely noted how prize money in professional golf increased exponentially during Woods’ ascension, but Finchem also helped the Tour extend its fingers into all pools of pro golf. What was once three tours under one umbrella became six.

Are we so sure that that's a good thing?

To my surprise, Eamon Lynch has sprung to the defense of this selection, though a cursory glance indicates that the straw man body count might well be excessive.  See what you think:

That much was evident with the news that former PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem 

will join Tiger Woods and Marion Hollins in the next class to be inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame. The announcement was greeted with griping that was as predictable as it is tedious, an exercise in collective eye-rolling intended to suggest not only that Finchem is undeserving but that his inclusion dilutes the Hall’s credibility. 

That argument is familiar and has been leveled against more deserving targets who got a call to the Hall, like George H.W. Bush, Bing Crosby or Bob Hope. But there’s no sound basis for raising it against Finchem. 

There is a sentiment that says lockers in St. Augustine ought to be earned for exploits on the field of play, and the only field of play that matters is a golf course. Not a boardroom or a factory or a production trailer or a media center. It’s an absolutist position that would disqualify plenty of current Hall of Famers.

What would happen if we challenged Eamon to identify a single person making that absurd argument.   But wait, the heavy ammunition is yet to come:

Like C.B. Macdonald or Pete Dye, who only designed those fields of play, 

Like Karsten Solheim, who innovated the instruments used on those fields. 

Like Dan Jenkins or Herb Graffis, whose only mastery was of a typewriter on the sidelines. 

The reality is that most sports halls of fame are intended to acknowledge not just quantifiable achievement but immeasurable impact. Charlie Sifford wasn’t inducted for his two PGA Tour victories but for what his presence, courage and determination symbolized in golf’s ugliest era. Frank Chirkinian wasn’t given a locker to store his Emmy awards, but because the legendary CBS producer’s influence far exceeded that of most players he put on living room TVs.

Wow, what a killer argument.   C.B. Macdonald was the father of American golf, so as long as Finschem's accomplishments are of that order of magnitude, then he deserves to be enshrined.  But just in case I'm having memory issue, what exactly are those contributions?

This is hardly to say Finchem is beyond criticism. He forged a colorless culture at Tour HQ and enforced a level of secrecy around disciplinary proceedings and drug testing that would have been envied in Pyongyang. But it can’t be argued that he didn’t leave the Tour in a considerably better place than he found it.

Yes it can.  All those things have hurt the game, but I assume you'll get around to telling me what contributions he did make:

When he took over as commissioner in 1994, total prize money on Tour was $56.4 million. Toss in the Champions and then-Web.com Tours and the fund was just over $90 million. This season the Tour’s prize money is nearing $400 million before bonuses, at least until COVID-19 upended things. He created the oft-maligned World Golf Championship events, which if nothing else helped temper Greg Norman’s plans for world domination, and the FedEx Cup playoff system 13 years ago.

So the basis for him being Hall-worthy is that he cashed a bunch of checks?  You know what else is oft-maligned?  Yeah, that FedEx Cup....Not much to those legacies, is there?

Get this reductio ad absurdum:

It’s a popular though specious suggestion that Finchem owes his success to coat-tailing on Tiger Woods. Sure, he was dealt a strong hand, but he played it well for what was demanded of him. If subsisting on crumbs from Tiger’s table was sufficient to earn a spot in the Hall, then Mark Steinberg would have his own wing.

I'd never previously seen logic water-boarded, but I can now see the logic for banning it.  So, playing a strong hand well is grounds for immortality?  Good to know.

Adam Schupak has a more typical response:

And why should they be? Just days ago, my colleague Beth Ann Nichols and others applauded the World Golf Hall of Fame for finally electing Marion Hollins also through

the contributor category. (Quick aside: If the Hall is going to continue with this category, please at least limit it to a max of one per induction.) Hollins was a trailblazer and while her inclusion won’t send people turning off I-95 at International Golf Parkway in droves, hopefully some of those visitors who spring for a ticket to go and see the locker for Tiger Woods will learn her story too.

But the World Golf Hall of Fame needed another plaque of an administrator about as much as it needed one for Augusta National chairman Billy Payne two years ago. This isn’t so much a knock on Finchem as much as a wider complaint that we’re honoring the wrong people. The Hall of Fame should be for the greats of the game, the players who achieved the moments etched in our memory. There is still one more inductee to be named later this week, but all of the other players who will be left on the outside looking in are far more deserving of recognition in the Hall of Fame than Finchem.

I have no problem with administrators who have made substantial contributions to the game being honored, and the case for Billy Payne is actually far stronger.  But our Nurse Ratched is a dour, humorless man, who's legacy cannot be articulated without the use of a dollar sign.

Tell Us What You Really Think -  The article itself is unfortunately behind a paywall, but see if you can suss out how Curmudgeonly James Corrigan really feels about this issue:

A Ryder Cup without fans is a ridiculous, wretched concept that should be put to bed

You sure you only want it put....to bed?   Seems like you'd want a more....what's that felicitous phrase, a more final solution?

But this is where eyes start rolling:

PGA of America CEO Seth Waugh joined “Talking Golf with Ann Liguori” on WFAN in 

New York on Sunday and said the PGA of America is mulling the idea of a fan-less Ryder Cup if the current environment under the COVID-19 pandemic calls for it. 

“[Ryder Cups] are pretty unique, and the fans are the Ryder Cup to a certain degree,” Waugh said. “It is hard to image one without fans. We have begun to talk about whether you can create some virtual fan experience, and we are going to try and be as creative as we can. 

“To be determined, frankly, whether you’d hold it without fans or not,” he continued. “For the Ryder Cup it’s particularly important, so we will be very careful about that. It’s a very unique thing, and I think if we can pull it off this year it will be an amazing exclamation point to the year.”

A virtual fan experience?  Yeah, that's the ticket....

You mean like this?

Thank God golf is played over several hundred acres, because you'll notice that these fans are not practicing safe social distancing....  But what can we expect from soccer hooligans.

We all love this event, but isn't it the obviously safer route to push it until 2021, when the Ryder Cup can be the Ryder Cup?  By the way, Seth, has that Ryder Cup Task Force approved of your tossing away home field advantage?  

Fighting Words - Shane Ryan takes on the terminology battles of our game, though he goes far easier on the USGA/R&A than he should.

1. “Golf” … can it ever be a verb?

I would argue that nothing quite fires up the golf language police like this one, and it has been covered endlessly, including at this very outlet. Golf, the language police say, is a game, and “playing golf” is the activity. Therefore, to say that you’re “golfing,” or that you “want to golf,” or that you “golfed yesterday,” is fundamentally incorrect. (It’s true that you can run or swim or ski or canoe, but those aren’t ball sports and, to me at least, they belong to a different category.) You wouldn’t tell your friends that you “basketballed” or “tennised,” the logic goes, because that would sound weird. 

So the question we really need to ask is this: Why does it sound less weird when golf is used as a verb? Why, to the outside world, does it seem pretty normal?

Permissabilty is limited to the compliment, "He can really golf his ball".   All other uses of the word as a verb are specifically proscribed.

But this is where Shane gets into the dumbing down of our game by our rules makers:

4. Tied vs. All Square (vs. Halved)

This may sound contradictory to the sand trap/bunker debate, but part of what makes a sport like golf fun is that it has its own terminology. Why on earth would you sanitize the game’s patois by saying “tied” like everyone else on the planet? All square is so much better! The USGA and R&A recently implemented an official change in an effort to simplify the language, though they still allowed the more traditional terms. But for me, saying a match was “all square” or that a hole was “halved” was already very intuitive, and unique terms like those are more likely to draw outside fans in because they create, partly through language, a distinct and intriguing world that is nonetheless simple to understand. Reverting to bland terms like “tied” just takes the color out of that world.

Verdict: Given the choice, “all square” and “halved” are better every time.

Yes, exactly, why on earth would you abandon terms that have been part of the golf culture for centuries?  It's almost like they consider that history a double-eagle around our neck....(you'll have to click through to understand that bit...

But methinks Shane missed the worst single term introduced into our game, the replacement of the term "hazard" with the awkward, infelicitous "penalty area".  Yuck!  What precisely was wrong with hazard?  I cringe every time I hear an announcer use it, and doubly when they apologize for reverting to habit and using hazard first.

Alan To The Rescue - Shippy's latest mailbag was posted during the day on Friday, and it slipped my mind yesterday.  It's not up to his usual, "ripped-from-the-headlines" standards, but we're plenty starved for anything that amuses.  Shall we dive in?

Alan, it was great to see Tiger and Jim Nantz talk about the 2019 Masters win. However, what was more visually distracting: the low-tech feed or Tiger’s pencil thin mustache w/beard combo? #AskAlan – @forearmshivers 

I actually enjoyed the low-tech vibe; it felt authentic and very of-the-moment. But I agree Tiger’s facial hair needs work. And it’s time for that patchy poa annua atop his head to finally go, too. Tiger with a shaved dome will look badass, if he ever works up the courage to do it.

Poa is basically a weed, so pretty much....  I didn't see Tiger, but I'm going to hold my ground and maintain that Brooksie's porn 'stache was the more embarassing.

Hi. Do you see merit in Rory McIroy’s belief that a potential November Masters may improve his chances at Augusta? -Scott from Scotland – @fyfescott1 

Well, if it’s cold and damp the course will play really long, so certainly it’s advantageous to be the best driver of the golf ball in the game today. More than that, if we get an autumn Masters the run-up and rhythm of the preceding months will be unprecedented. The old way of having Augusta be the first major in eight months clearly hasn’t worked for McIlroy so any change has to be welcome.

Yes, though I'd agree more if he had kept his pie hole shut.  The problem is that Rory's performance seems inversely related to how badly he wants it, so I'd think he's not be raising expectations... Just sayin'.

Related, is this about his and Bambie's series:

Regarding the fantastic “Masters that Never Was” series, who needs it more at this stage in their careers: Rory at the Masters, or Jordan getting any big win? How did you reach the Rory decision? – @reverett013 

That was a fun experiment for Michael and me. Writing fiction on deadline nine days in a row is no joke! Thanks for reading it. McIlroy has another decade to try to win a Masters, though we all know the scar tissue builds up over time and it certainly doesn’t get any easier. But Spieth’s slump had gotten so bad the whole golf world was reaching for the PANIC button before COVID offered him a needed chance to reset. So, to your question, I’d say Jordan. As for our fictional Masters, me and Bamby both wanted Tiger in the mix but since he won last year (for real!) it didn’t feel that fun to follow the same script. We kicked around a few potential winners but Rory’s quest to win a jacket is so compelling and he’s a fun guy to write about so it felt right.

I guess that's a spoiler, though if you hadn't read it by now....  It just veered way off the deep end, and that bit about Jordan rediscovering the magic at Augusta was just so darn 2019...How did that work out?

What effect will this current COVID crisis have on the ridiculous amount of money the players compete for these days? I imagine companies will be reeling for a long time from this and not be so keen to pay $1 million plus to 1st place when their own employees are suffering. – @dunehigh 

European Tour czar Keith Pelley recently sent a letter to all of his players more or less making your exact point and preparing them for the harsh realities of the forthcoming golf landscape. A loss of corporate support, reduced (or no) ticket sales, perhaps the abolition of the pro-am, a macro-recession … all of these things are sure to put a dent in purses. The PGA Tour is insulated in the short-term because of the mega-deal it recently signed with FedEx but every other tour is vulnerable. And for sure PGA Tour players will feel the pinch in the endorsement market.

FedEx sure, but were the network contracts actually signed?  That seems the bigger issue, especially given the long term involved.

If play resumed with no fans and no caddies, which players would benefit the most, and which would be hurt the most by the changes? – @Golfingbrock 

No fans will be a boon for the Patrick Reeds and Ian Poutlers of the world, as well as any and all of Tiger Woods’s playing partners. Guys who thrive on the energy of the crowd, like Phil and Rory, figure to be adversely affected. The caddie question is intriguing. I would assume feel-players like a Shane Lowry and Marc Leishman would thrive, but it’s very idiosyncratic. The player who would be hurt the most is certainly Pat Perez — his career-long caddie Mike Hartford pulls every club for him!

No caddies?  That would actually be kinda entertaining, just make them play with maybe four clubs.

Funny how Alan makes the same mistake as many do.  Playing with Tiger isn't a big problem... the place you don't want to be is the group ahead or behind him.  I'm not sure he's right about our Patrick, who might wither away if denied to oxygen of hatred.

Based on the Fauci guidelines, it would seem that sports need to be based in one city to resume, with athletes quarantined. Would that even be possible for golf and if so, what city are you putting the Tour in because of the number and quality of courses? #AskAlan – @brianros1 

Apparently the lords of Ponte Vedra Beach haven’t consulted with Dr. Fauci, because the revamped schedule has the Tour barnstorming all over the country, per usual. (Of course, this could just be wishful thinking; we shall see.) But yours is a fun thought exercise, and my answer is Levittown, Long Island, the picture of middle class suburbia. An incredible schedule awaits: Shinnecock Hills is an hour’s drive to the east, and there are a dozen world-class courses along the way. Bethpage is right around the corner. An hour’s drive to the northwest are the fantastic courses of Westchester County. And the media capital of the world is nearby, too, adding more juice to the whole enterprise. You could have a full schedule without anyone having to get on an airplane.

Come soon, because we've even solved our traffic issues.  

Covid golf has forced a lot of courses to remove rakes. When this [gestures everywhere] is all over should they be brought back or left in the maintenance shed? – @Carr4thecourse 

I guess I’m going soft but I prefer a nicely raked bunker. Trying to get up-and-down out of a size 13 footprint is not my idea of a good time.

I can't put my fingers on the quote right now, maddening since Geoff had it atop his blog just a day or so ago.  But the great C.B. Macdonald hated bunker rakes, opining that he would prefer to run a herd of elephants through them before play begins.

The problem, of course, is we've gotten used to them being perfect...Now, without rakes, most of us have reverted to preferred lies in the bunkers.  So, it's a nice thought...

If/when they decide to restart the Tour without galleries, is there a chance they try to go to some special venues which could not accommodate big galleries? Imagine seeing a Tour event at Pine Valley, Philly Cricket, etc etc etc!! – @pintosjavi 

That would be spectacular. Alas, the venues are all locked-in for the rest of this year. But if the COVID era lasts into 2021 it could lead to some creative thinking.

Never happen.  But it's highly disturbing to think of this continuing until 2021....  Basically, there are already insurrections breaking out around the country, this can't go on much longer.

Does the PGA Tour have a dress code against wearing face masks? And who will be the first player to compete wearing one? – @HarryArnett 

It’s already happened — Matt Every went full face mask a while back, either for sun protection or because he was going to knock over a 7-11 after the round … I can’t remember which. And years ago there was that exceptionally cold Match Play in Tucson when Martin Kaymer was rocking some kind of tunic which covered most of his face. But we all know which hypocondriac will be the first to wear a COVID-inspired mask. It’s gotta be Jason Day, right?

That was pretty weird:

I'm pretty sure that's not an N95... 

Best round of golf that you’ve seen live where you’ve walked away from it going, Wow, I may never see anything like that again! – @phump72 

Probably Tiger’s 65 on Friday at Hoylake. The control, precision, discipline and course management in those extreme conditions absolutely blew my mind. Still does.

 Craig Perks?  Hey, the guy laid up to a perfect yardage every time.

Who on the golf.com staff would you want by your side in a bar fight? Who on staff is most likely to have started the fight? – @jackryderparis 

I’ll take J. Wall as my wingman — the dude is a beast, as Rory found out when our equipment czar crushed him on the Peloton bike. The most likely instigator has to be Sean Zak. He seems as goofy and likable as a Labrador puppy but dude talks just enough smack to get us in trouble. Plus, that slicked-back hair is a provocation.

When they asked that of Tour players, the runaway choice for wing man in a bar fight was Ernie.  I know, I didn't see it coming either.

Can you please explain how anyone could love Pebble Beach over Cypress Point and Tin Cup over Caddy Shack? #CantMoveOn – @SHistorians 

I guess some of us just have more discerning tastes.

That's easy, they prefer Pebble because they can't get on Cypress....  But Caddy Shack is just a horrible movie...really.

If I can’t play golf or watch golf, why am I still asking a question? – @kyechsports 

Because you literally have nothing better to do. And neither do I, which is why I’m answering your (non-) question.

Somehow that doesn't cheer me up at all....

Stay safe and I'll see you when I see you.