Weekend Wrap

Lots to cover, but a hard deadline to beat as well.  I'll just promise that anything left on the cutting room floor will find its way into tomorrow's post....

Bay Hill Boogaloo- It's always fun to watch these guys deal with conditions out there...  Of course, when that happens in Florida, conditions become profoundly unfair in a hurry...  

Picking the best header is a snap:

Tyrrell Hatton loses his mind, but holds on to win Arnold Palmer Invitational

OK, but technically that's a preexisting condition...  As even he admits:

During an interview at a golf tournament, Tyrrell Hatton was once asked what his stage name would be if he were to become a D.J. 

“Head case Hatton,” he said without hesitation as he broke into laughter.

Isn't that one of best attributes, though?   The candid admission of his struggle makes us root for his success...  Are you taking notes, patrick?

He wasn’t the only one whose patience was tested as Bay Hill Club & Lodge turned into a windy U.S. Open-like struggle. Only four golfers managed to break par for 72 holes. 

Alas, Arnie remains the only man that could rock the red cardigan

Yet leave it to Hatton to keep his cool down the stretch as others faltered to hang on to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational by one stroke over Australian Marc Leishman. Juicy rough, greens as hard as cement and howling wind brought the field to its knees with Hatton the ultimate survivor, and winning his maiden PGA Tour title — and a three-year exemption — despite a 2-over 74 and a 72-hole total of 4-under 284. 

“To hold on and win here at such an iconic venue,” Hatton said, “I’m over the moon.”

I didn't see the finish, but caught the first few hours of the round on tape.  He was clearly fighting for control, but that ball in the water seems to have been the result of a poor decision to hit driver off the tee.  We can be tough on the TV crew, but the NBC guys were all over that one.

But like Patrick in Mexico, the gods are tormenting us with a winner from THAT European Tour.

Josh Berhow was all over the body language:

But Hatton, who like many pros showed signs of frustration already, found trouble at the par-4 11th and then had some choice gestures for the hole and bordering lake. It started when Hatton’s drive went left and into the water, which led to a drop and missed green on his approach. After a chip that was still short of the green and came to rest on the fringe, Hatton putted to within six feet, lifted his putter and made a shotgun motion toward the lake, which was follow by a middle finger.

It's just the international signal for water, what's the big deal? 

Even better, is this profile of Hatton's looper Mick Donaghy, with the silver medalist header:

In conquering Bay Hill's torture chamber, Tyrrell Hatton trades straitjacket for cardigan

Well, there was a mandatory deduction for the excessive use of metaphors... I think you'll agree that Mr. Hatton has found the perfect service-provider for his specific needs:

The man has made self-flagellation an art form. His volcanic eruptions are wildly entertaining but undeniably destructive. His short fuse has cost him his fair share of trophies over the years. He knows that. And he owns it.

But now Hatton is ... more controlled of his emotions, if only slightly? 

“We’re getting better,” said Hatton’s caddie, Mick Donaghy. “That’s why I think I’m employed – to threaten him and kill him. And I will, and he knows that. I won’t put up with any of his s---. That’s what he needs.”

If Hatton ever fires Mick, I know who should hire him....  That would be Rory, who is desperately in need of a caddie that will kick him out of his stupor.  Of course, that assumes Dnaghy can read greens, because our Rors clearly lacks that skill.

Before we leave The King and his realm, this header from earlier in the week got my vote for the bronze:

After injury layoff spent drinking red wine and playing Xbox, Tyrrell Hatton shares lead

 Is that wise after a wrist injury?  The Xbox, that is....

Story of the Week - So, last week was all about The King, yet the biggest story emerge is a guy not playing...the following week.  Yeah, the predictable first question from this week's Tour Confidential:

1. A month ago in this space, when we asked if there was any reason to sound alarm bells after Tiger Woods finished last among those who made the cut at Riviera, none of our panelists seemed concerned. Well, how ’bout now? Woods decided to skip both the Honda and API — which was maybe surprising but hardly shocking — but now he’s out of this week’s Players Championship as well. Woods tweeted that his back “is simply just not ready,” and his agent, Mark Steinberg, told ESPN that Woods’ back is “not concerning long term.” Are you buying it? Is Woods’ long-term health a legitimate concern? And what do you think this means for his pre-Masters schedule?

It's quite clear that there is no pre-Masters schedule, that the next time Tiger pegs it will be at Augusta.  Whether that's 2020, 2021 or as an Honorary Starter remains the only question.... 

Michael Bamberger: The alarms are ringing. Both Woods and Steinberg used the same phrase, simply not ready. No stories of Tiger playing at Medalist, hitting balls in the backyard, playing with his son or his buds or President Donald J. Trump. To say his back is not ready is a narrow way of saying he’s not ready. Whatever ails him, it’s assuredly more than what he is saying. Same as it ever was.

To say he's simply not ready is to give the golfing world that international symbol for water....  But I beg to differ with Mike, it's a way of saying nothing, which is to give us that middle finger.

Josh Sens: Who knew back problems could be so complicated? My alarm level has

moved from yellow (mild) to pale orange, but it’s not in the red yet. I’ve got to think this is all just a hyper-precautionary measure to preserve himself for the one that matters most. But backs are obviously delicate matters. Seems unlikely that we’ll see him before Augusta. As for long-term health, in that department, we’re all screwed. 

Alan Shipnuck: This is no bueno but probably inevitable. Tiger pushed so hard for a year and half, to come back from the spinal fusion and ultimately climb the highest mountain imaginable at last year’s Masters. I think his body has been rebelling ever since. But his win in Japan last fall offers some hope, proving that Tiger doesn’t really need reps, like most normal humans. All that matters is he feels relatively spry come Masters week. He deserves that. So do we.

I think the grizzled vet Bamberger has the far better take in this tired act.  It's always more serious than they let on.  And here's another young Turk that simply doesn't know his history:

Dylan Dethier: What it tells me is that Tiger legitimately doesn’t know. Doesn’t know how his back will feel next week. Doesn’t know how it will react to a week of tournament stress. Think about it: if he knew he had no chance, he’d have announced he was out of the Players earlier and avoided scrutiny. If he knew it would be fine, he’d obviously be playing. Instead all we can assume is that he’s in limbo, and we as Tiger Observers will stay in limbo with him.

A few of you over the years have indicated that you think I'm too hard on Tiger, and this is a good juncture to respond.  Dylan is simply extrapolating from how he would treat others, an indication that having a beer with the young man would be enjoyable.

The fact of Tiger's career is the opposite.  Time and again he has awaited the Friday deadline to announce his intentions for the following week, leaving fans and tournament directors the bare minimum of time to prepare.  If Tiger plays a given event, that requires all sorts of additional support, and he and his team have never evinced the slightest concern in this regard...  And don't get me started on what he did to Johnny Miller and the folks in Napa a few years back with his head fake that he would play that event.

Maybe he could hire Mick Donaghy as a life coach...

This item channels something Notah Begay suggested on Golf Channel:

Perhaps Woods' hectic end of 2019 is still taking a toll. After winning the Zozo Championship in Japan to tie Sam Snead's record of 82 PGA Tour victories, Woods finished T-4 at the Hero World Challenge, then made a 26-hour trip to Australia for the Presidents Cup, where he went 3-0-0 as a player-captain of the winning American side. He said after that trip that he would put the clubs away for a while to rest.

Hectic?  From October through December he played less than eleven full rounds of golf... OH, and he looked fine at Torrey, though admittedly less so at Riviera.  

More interesting was Geoff's take in his header:

Is Tiger On A Hogan-In-'53 Schedule, Or Is It Something More?

Oh, I'm going with the latter, though I do love how that will have Dylan and the other kids furiously Googling....  Yanno, there actually was golf before you were born.

I'm going to segue to the next query in that TC panel, it's unrelated but deliciously snarky:

2. Transitioning from one Masters favorite to two others, Brooks Koepka followed a missed cut at the Honda with a T47 at Bay Hill — which included a career-worst 81 on Saturday — and Rory McIlroy contended after 54 holes but fell apart on the front nine on Sunday, carding a 40 and shooting 76 in what was one of his latest Sunday struggles. If you had to rank Tiger, Rory and Brooks in order from most to least likely to win the Masters (win, not just contend), how would you do it?

None of the above?  These two gents are a little tough on our Rors:

Sens: Brooks, Tiger, Rory. Bay Hill was brutal this week. I’ll chalk Koepka’s blowup to an anomaly and the fact that he has a different gear for events other than majors. Tiger next because he’s Tiger, with the back as an asterisk. Rory third is no slight on Rory. No surprise if he wins, but I still place him last in this illustrious trio. He has acknowledged that Augusta is a wee bit in his head. 

Shipnuck: Tiger, Brooks, Rory. Koepka will find it, and probably soon. Last year he finally showed he knows how to play Augusta National. Rory’s Sunday implosions are getting more alarming — the triple bogey at Riv, the doubles at Bay Hill. The No. 1 player in the world simply can’t so consistently lose the plot like that when in contention. Doesn’t bode well for Augusta National, which has always magnified Rory’s weaknesses.

 Wasn't I reliably informed that Rory, the owner of four majors, is on an historic tear?  These guys think so highly of the man's game, that they prefer the chances of a guy (admittedly one with a pretty good cv) who is likely to be unable to do anything more taxing than host Tuesday's dinner.  Good luck the next time you try to score an interview with the Ulsterman....

R.I.P. - The obits seem to be piling up, but we've lost another iconic figure in our game:

A tree that appeared overnight during the 1979 U.S. Open to become a part of golf lore has met its end. 

The Black Hills spruce known as "The Hinkle Tree" was partially uprooted by a gust of wind this week at Inverness Club in Toledo, Ohio, and was cut down.

The tree dated to the 79th Open, when a journeyman pro named Lon Hinkle came up with a way to outsmart the course during the first round. 

Hinkle noticed that he could take a shortcut by hitting through a gap of trees near the eighth tee and drive his ball on the adjacent 17th fairway, shaving 75 yards off the dogleg hole.

It made for an easy birdie, but U.S. Golf Association officials were not amused. 

The USGA dispatched the course's greens chairman to bring in a tree from a nursery and block the shortcut. Overnight, the Black Hill spruce, about 20 feet tall, appeared in the gap.

First the Ike tree, and now this....  What's a fellow to bitterly cling to these days....

Sadly, I'm actually old enough to remember this, though I absolutely did not recall this follow up:

But during the next round, Hinkle and his playing partner, Chi Chi Rodriguez, decided to hit their tee shots over the tree. 

"There was maybe a couple hundred people at the tee, waiting to see what I would do,'' Hinkle told The Associated Press in 2003. "I used the full size of the teeing ground and went to the left corner of the tee box. The tree wasn't really even in the way. This time, I used a driver and flew it over the tree and had only a 6 iron to the green.'' 

Again, he made birdie.

the other amusement in this story is that back in the day I played the original PGA Tour video game.  In that game, our hero showed up on leaderboards as Lou Hinkle, which I thought an unnecessary indignity.

Stupidest Question Ever - I know, an extremely competitive category, but this is so bad on so many levels:

4. Dustin Johnson became the first highly ranked player to say no thanks to the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, citing the busy Tour schedule and his focus on the FedEx Cup Playoffs. Do you expect DJ’s choice to sit out will be the first of many dominoes to fall now that the floodgates are open, or will his decision be an outlier?

Really, guys?  Gee, I'm going to go way out on a limb and suggest that this might, just might, depend on how the pandemic plays out....   I'm kinda wondering right now whether we'll have professional golf  in April, and these guys are concerned about the Hero World Challenge in Japan in July.

But it gets even more clueless:

Sens: A lot depends on how the virus situation plays out. If Zika was enough to scare players away, imagine a pandemic that shows no sign of slowing. Still a ways off, though. And I don’t see DJ’s decision opening an immediate floodgate. This will be a wait-and-see. 

Shipnuck: Zika was never really a concern to the players, it just became an easy excuse for the apathetic, as Rory acknowledged after-the-fact. DJ doesn’t move the needle either way. Those who want to play in the Games will do so and those who aren’t into it will come up with a myriad of excuses. But citing Coronavirus as an excuse not to play in Tokyo won’t make sense if it has already spread around the globe by then.

Alan's been milking a Zika grudge for four years, never once stepping back far enough to see the bigger picture.  And I'm even willing in this moment to ignore the fact that the underlying event isn't sufficiently important to warrant any risk-taking....

But Alan, do you think our governing organizations, the ones telling us that it's safe, have acquitted themselves with such efficiency that we should trust them?  It's easy to poke fun at the mosquitoes in hindsight, but is there anyone stupid enough to believe that the IOC has the athletes' best interests at heart?  

We're on this riff, so I guess let's circle back because there was one surprise in the answers to this inevitable question:

3. Speaking of the Masters, Augusta National Chairman Fred Ridley released a statement last week regarding the rise of Coronavirus cases in the U.S., saying ANGC is monitoring the situation and consulting with experts, but at this time proceeding as planned with the Women’s Am; Drive, Chip and Putt; and the Masters. If things get worse, what’s the next step for the green jackets? Postpone the event, cancel it, conduct it without fans? What’s feasible and what isn’t?

Again, worrying about Olympic golf seems not even as good as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic....  at least that's doing something.

Shipnuck: After reading various doomsday articles about COVID I’m now worried about every event on the schedule. If the U.S. ever starts widespread testing the number of confirmed cases is very likely to spike dramatically, leading to all manner of panic. Postponing would mean, at best, a fall Masters — it’s so hot in Augusta in the summer the club closes and the conditions aren’t right for tournament play. A Masters with no fans would be sad and weird and cheat the players out of the proper experience. We’re only a month out and given the dearth of Coronavirus testing this Masters may get played before there are widespread cancelations of public events. But the PGA and both Opens and the Olympics are all on shakier ground.

A Fall Masters will have heads exploding in Ponte Vedra Beach...  For that reason alone, it brings a smile to my face.

 I'm going to leave you there, but I'm already loaded for tomorrow.  Hope to see you then.