The Super Gaffomatic '76 keeps delivering the goods....Just don't hold my musings to that standard.
I promised a couple of amusing stories in yesterday's exit, so let's have at them. You've no doubt noticed that I occasionally over-react to things, or react in strange ways. Just bear that in mind.
A Washington For Our Times - We'll play this one straight, at least for a bit, as The Big Easy declines a lifetime sinecure:
It’s a one-and-done for Ernie Els as Presidents Cup captain.
Els, who nearly led the International side to its second victory in 13 biennial matchesagainst the Americans in December, thinks he has the team headed in the right direction. At the same time, he said that someone else should captain the Internationals when they visit Quail Hollow Club in Charlotte, N.C., for the 2021 matches.
It was an arduous decision for Els. On Dec. 15, hours after his team lost, 16-14, at Royal Melbourne in Australia, Els thought that it was time to move on. He revisited his decision numerous times before he lost in a playoff Jan. 18 in his Champions Tour debut in Hawaii.
“That’s as good as I can do,” said Els, explaining his reasoning. “I gave it all. This is another change I wanted to make in our team. I get one opportunity, win or lose. You don’t get a second chance.”
Perhaps he's selfless, or perhaps he simply didn't fancy the road game.... But he seems to genuinely understand the importance of ceding the spotlight.
But then, and I can only imagine that his tongue is threatening to pierce his cheek, he adds this gem:
“I’m, like, I want to do it. There is so much of me that wants to do it, but I know the hardest thing is to step away,” Els said. “I can understand why people become dictators. You can get hooked on that power.”
Well, Ernie, it was, I believe, Lord Acton, that noted that absolute power corrupts absolutely....
Ernie now joins Pol Pot as a member in good standing of the Alliterative Despots Club....
Though, to be fair, while he's riding off into the sunset, there is one circumstance in which he might be induced to serve again:
“If it ever goes to South Africa and I’m not too old,” Els said, “I’d like to be considered for that one.”
Well, they did take it there once already. Though I don't imagine Ernie's forgotten that crazy ending....
Soylent Green - If that first bit was amusing, this next is a guaranteed spit take, at leats it was for your humble blogger. H/T Shack for spotting this new lifestyle golf ball, Union Green. From the About Us page of their website:
Union Green is for people who head to the first tee just as they are and love to play the game on their own terms. They play for fun, to escape the routine, and find the golf course as the perfect place to connect with the people who share their passion.
We recognize and embrace players who respect quality and performance yet are looking for golf to be no nonsense, no frills, all enjoyment.
All are welcome.
Hmmmm, looking for golf to be all enjoyment? Good luck especially with that...
And this from their photo gallery:
Collared golf shirts and khaki pants may work some days, but often we just show up as we are... and we love that. Tap a photo to view and share yours with us by using #UnionGreen.
Well, I'll just have to hope that it's one of those days wen khakis and collared shirts work.... But you all look like such nice folks:
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| Very presentable, though always weird when folks putt with the glove on. |
Union Green has made enough of an impact to score a MyGolf Spy profile/review, in which they clarify the market for this new venture:
The Union Green is as much about creating a culture as it is delivering performance.Compared to Titleist, it’s decidedly more flat brim and quite a bit less white sport coat. The Union Green vibe is cool and casual, and the intent is to appeal to a demographic for whom golf isn’t life itself, but instead is one of a varied number of excuses to hang out with friends, toss back a few beers, and have a good time. No polo shirt, no golf shoes, no problem. Dogs allowed, apparently.
OK, so they're making a golf ball for....well, non-golfers. There's little doubt about that being an underserved market, yet still....
As the MGS guys tell us, it's a lifestyle brand:
A DTC LIFESTYLE BRAND
Fitting with the lifestyle model, Union Green offers a selection of branded merchandise – hats, t-shirts, mugs, that sort of thing.
The business plan is to sell almost entirely direct to consumer. Union Green will be available through a small number of shops – roughly 60 to 80 nationwide – that fit with the brand identity. If you paid an assessment this year, you’re not likely to find Union Green in your shop.
These are some really sharp marketing minds, ensuring that their product isn't carried in any shops catering to those that could, you know, afford and have use for it.
You'll have sensed that there's a kicker coming, and it's a beaut:
INTRODUCING UNION GREEN
Even if you’ve never heard of Union Green (and I’m guessing you haven’t), its reputation precedes the launch of the brand. Union Green’s golf balls are manufactured in the USA at Titleist Ball Plant #2. It’s the same factory that churns out TrueFeel, Velocity, and Tour Soft.
That should clue you into the fact that Union Green lives under the Acushnet umbrella. It’s a not so small detail that makes the latest upstart ball brand plenty more interesting than most.
So, is Union Green Titleist?
Not exactly.
Wally is allegedly retired, but no doubt that planning for this happened under his guidance.
Here's the MGS gang's take on the brand's prospects:
WILL UG SUCCEED?
Titleist, and I suppose Acushnet is evolving. It wasn’t long ago that a We’re Titleist, and Titleist doesn’t do that attitude created unnecessarily business barriers in a rapidlychanging market. In recent years, the strategy has shifted to a model that remains true to the company’s core values, while becoming more accessible to golfers, and yes, to no small degree, part of that means leaving less money on the table. With consumer buying habits changing, Union Green makes sense from a strategy perspective.
There’s little doubt taking a lifestyle-first approach can work in golf. Travis Mathew has done it. One could argue several small shaft companies are doing it, and certainly, the appeal of the Vice brand transcends the performance of its products. You don’t have to be cool to succeed in golf, but for the Union Green audience, it certainly doesn’t hurt.
Success, however, is not a given. The challenge for Union Green is to establish an identity as an authentically casual golf brand entirely outside of the Titleist orbit. That’s a tricky proposition, but the company believes the brand is true to the people inside of Acushnet that created it. Born of a market opportunity, but genuine just the same.
OK, but there's this one wee difference with Travis Matthews, no? I get that you're really anxious to sell golf balls to the cool kids, and to do so you're prepared to celebrate their very coolness. But to do so you're implicitly poking fun at those uncool golfers, yanno the ones for whom khakis and collared shirts work every day?
The thing is, and this seems significant, those dweebs in their khakis currently buy $500 million a year of Pro-V1s, and perhaps don't want to be the butt of your flat-brimmed humor.... Which perhaps might be a risk worth taking, if those kids actually played golf. The comments are, unsurprisingly, all over this issue:
ROB W. 3 DAYS AGOThe golfer they target buys his balls at Target.He slices his 1st drive into the woods, goes to look for his ball, comes out with 3-6 found balls and plays the rest of the round with them (until he has to hit over water).
Pretty much.
Dueling Memes - Like the mythical Phoenix, John Feinstein insists that Phil is back from the dead (though he goes with quite a different analogy in the header):
Oh you flatterer, you!
In 1975, when Gary Groh won the Hawaiian Open, the first sentence of the story writtenby the late, great Bob Green for the Associated Press said this: “Arnie lost again.”
Arnold Palmer had contended throughout the week before falling back on Monday (the tournament was rain-delayed) to finish behind Groh and a fast-closing Al Geiberger. As it turned out, Palmer, who was 45 at the time, never won again on the PGA Tour.
It would be easy to say the same about Phil Mickelson after he was the subject of about 90 percent of the attention at this past week’s AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am before fading to third on Sunday behind winner Nick Taylor and a fast-closing Kevin Streelman. “Phil lost again,” might have been the lead for many covering the tournament.
But the fact that Phil was in contention until the closing holes should tell us something: Four months before turning 50, he’s not done. Mickelson is golf’s Dracula—every time you think he’s dead, he rises again.
It just seems a long trip to pay off that header....
Eamon Lynch has a very different take, that Phil is more focused on his next act:
Phil Inc. has a much longer runway than Phil the player. Mickelson understands that his power is no longer dependent on his performances against kids on the PGA Tour but is best exploited in controlled environments where established celebrity has currency.
That explains his late conversion to social media, where he has diligently built an image of a self-deprecating jock that showcases for a new audience his enviable skill as a corporate pitchman. His viral calves, Stars & Stripes onesie and Phireside chats have all been in service of that image. So too his bravado about hitting bombs, despite a driving distance rank of 40th that suggests his bombs are more like hand grenades compared to his younger rivals.
It also provides context to his enthusiasm for that 2018 match against Tiger Woods in Las Vegas and his coquettish public comments about a rumored splinter tour, Premier Golf League, which won’t fly unless stars like Mickelson lend it their imprimatur. “I’m not ready to talk about it publicly,” he said, almost believably, after partnering with PGL’s backers in the Saudi pro-am. “I’m still taking it in, but I learned a lot.”
First, I think he can focus on both, no?
Of course the more interesting question is what he has left in the tank as a player, but your answer likely depends on whether you tuned in on Saturday or Sunday. And that likely is your answer.... History tells us that when elite players age, they can still summon that magic occasionally, but therein lies the rub. Does "occasionally" cover four consecutive rounds?
But after all the discussion last weekend about him hanging on to qualify for Mexico:
Phil Mickelson won't play in WGC-Mexico even if he qualifies, says he will be on family trip instead
He's in the field in LA, playing for the fifth consecutive week. Is that wise for a dinosaur, and those five in a row includes a trip across the world to cash a filthy Wahabbi check....
Cruel To be Kind - I've been watching those CBS broadcasts, but have kept m reactions in check under the theory that we need to give them a few weeks to settle into their new gigs. John Hawkins, alas, feels no compulsion towards the milk of human kindness:
With its telecasts of 3 PGA Tour events, CBS whiffs in its bid to appeal to a younger golf audience by ditching Gary McCord and Peter Kostis. But if you like happy talk and pompoms with your Tour coverage, then grab a lollipop and enjoy the rest of the show
I'm sorry, John, but Vanilla can be very good....Why the hate?
I've been shocked by the extent to which Davis Love has been a non-factor on the CBS broadcasts, but I've wanted to be fair (Ed: Why start now?). But Hawkins is spot on:
McCord was effectively irreverent, snappy and playful. A 180-degree departure from the unsmiling Kostis, whose ability to dissect a golf swing – flaws and all – in less than 30
Coming soon to a milk carton near you. seconds made him one of the most unique and underrated analysts in the game’s TV history. Their combined talents and wealth of effective insight helped compensate for the bumbling Nick Faldo, whose off-the-cuff observations and thin perspective have failed to register with viewers for 15 years.
Obviously, McManus got rid of the wrong guys. This wouldn’t have hurt CBS nearly as much if he’d seduced Phil Mickelson into the booth and ordered that Faldo spend his Sundays walking with the third-to-last pairing. Instead, McManus hired Davis Love III, who wasn’t heard on Saturday’s telecast from Pebble Beach until almost an hour into the show.
It was the one afternoon each year when golf producer Lance Barrow focuses on the celebrities playing in the pro-am. Without Kostis around to instantly tear apart Ray Romano’s action or explain why Tony Romo is just so damn good, a component that made CBS better than NBC had been sacrificed for the purpose of a so-called youth movement. If you really want to lure the millennials, shouldn’t you ditch the corny Yanni knockoff that has served as the musical backdrop since those kids were born?
Maybe I should have gone with a shorter excerpt above, because Hawkins has it n for the entire crew:
Love is a rookie, a wonderful man without a mean bone in his body, which makes him an inexperienced version of Ian Baker-Finch, whose next critical comment about a tour pro will be his first. In IBF’s world, everything is great and wonderful and fabulous and terrific and outstanding. It’s a sensational, absolutely awesome way to glide through life, but when a tour pro misses a 3-footer for par and follows it up with a double bogey, something needs to be said.
With its current lineup, CBS doesn’t have anybody to say it.
But he's got that cute accent...Finchie is fine in isolation, and CBS' biggets problems are in that 18th hole tower....
Dottie Pepper is excellent. Mark Immelman has a high ceiling and is fast becoming a source of pertinence and polish. Since David Feherty hopped to NBC in 2016, however, the Eye has gone blind to the value of building a team with people who played the game and are fully stocked with knowledge about every competitor, yet remain unfazed by the task of imparting pure objectivity when the situation demands it.
I agree with this, though Immelman sounds exactly like his brother, if you gave Trevor just the slightest hit of laughing gas.... I'm sure I'll get past that.
The CBS broadcasts are painfully unwatchable, from the treacly "Hello, Friends" through the incoherent babbling of Sir Nick. I actually think they're far worse than John's article implies, and they seem to be doubling down on the very worst aspects of their presentation. We're just lucky they don't cover any important events.... If only.
I'll leave you there and hope to see you tomorrow.
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