Monday, December 9, 2019

Monday Memes

I'm back.... Just this little tribute to Paul before we turn to our regular content.


I do love that legal disclaimer in the background...  Just hard to see what kind of accidents they're concerned about....

Hero Stuff - So Tiger hosts his annual low-key event in the Bahamas, and all anyone wants to talk about is Patrick.  I know he's Captain America and he's been rehabilitated, but WTF?

I assume you've seen it.  If not, get thee to YouTube and have a gander.  I'm reminded of noted architect Charles Banks, who is affectionately known as Steam Shovel Charlie, in celebration of his penchant for moving large volumes of earth.  You'll know where I'm headed with this....

Patrick amusingly goes for the ever popular, "Who Ya gonna beleive?  me, or your lyin' eyes" defense with this:
“I wish [the cameras] were actually directly on the side of me,” Reed said afterward, “because it was in a pretty good footprint … and I felt like my club was that far behind
the ball when I was actually taking the practice stroke, which I felt like I was taking it up. And it was … obviously, it was hitting a little sand. I didn’t feel it drag. But … whenever you do that, if it does hit the sand, just like if you’re in a hazard area and you take a practice swing and it brushes grass and the grass breaks, it’s a penalty. Whenever they brought it up to me and I saw it, it definitely did drag some of the sand. Because of that, it’s considered a two-stroke penalty.”
Honestly, that last sentence should be in a museum somewhere, a landmark in passive-aggressive blame-shifting.  As for the reference to grass?  Well, the magician needs to direct your eye away from the action....

Geoff, just randomly I'm quite certain, has this quote topping his website:

If we have never had a bad lie we are not likely to appreciate a good one, moreover, the ability to play from a bad lie differentiates between a good player and a bad one. We might also remark that good and bad lies differentiate between good sportsmen and bad.
ALISTER MACKENZIE
But, but,but he's Captain America?
So, take a look at that and see if Patrick's words fit the crime...errr...incident.   That is rather a lot of sand being moved, and those two practice swings are rather troubling, no?  I'm unclear myself as to whether that much sand could be moved without sensing it, but who really knows?

Apparently I'm not the only one concerned about this, as the memesters are all over it:

And this:

Though this will inevitably be your fave:

 I sense a kindred spirit, or at least a similar emotional maturity.

This might be the most curious aspect of the incident:
Slugger White, the PGA Tour’s vice-president of rules and competitions, issued Reed with the two strokes. He said: “I don’t know if he could have seen it as clearly as we did but he could not have been a better gentleman. Intent would not matter here, that’s not in the mix.”
OK, though I don't actually recall him being asked...  Slugger, why do you think your testimonial about the man's character is needed?  Oh, yeah:
 Awkward!

As for his being a complete gentleman, memes about there as well:
We've got the memsters comparing him to both Kramer and Costanza.... that's quite the twofer, Patrick!

The Tour Confidential panel had their way with our hero (intended) as well:
1. While Tiger Woods contending and pre-Presidents Cup storylines generated buzz at the Hero World Challenge, Patrick Reed became the talk of the event when he
was penalized two strokes for violating Rule 8.1. In the third round, Reed improved his intended line of play when he brushed sand away from his ball while taking two practice swings. The incident sent social media into a frenzy, but Reed later said the infraction was unintentional, claiming a different camera angle would have showed he didn’t, in fact, improve his lie. The two-stroke penalty proved costly, given Reed ultimately finished just two back of winner Henrik Stenson. The court of public opinion — including some of his fellow pros — was not kind to Reed, with Presidents Cupper Cameron Smith saying, “I don’t have sympathy for anyone who cheats.” What’s your take on this latest rules kerfuffle? Was the infraction so egregious that Reed should have been disqualified?
Josh Berhow: From what I understand, rules official Slugger White said intent didn’t matter here, but Reed could have been DQ’d under Rule 1.2a, which covers player conduct (and is what Sergio was DQ’d for in Saudi Arabia in February). At the time of this incident, no, I didn’t think Reed should have been DQ’d — he should get the benefit of the doubt — but after seeing a video of him allegedly doing the same thing at the 2015 Hero? That’s too much of a coincidence if you ask me. And here are other things to consider: When you go into the bunker, or any pro you watch on TV for that matter, how often do you put your club behind the ball and take a practice swing? That’s bizarre; and he did that in both aforementioned situations. It was alarming how immediate the practice swing was as soon as Reed entered the bunker in the 2015 incident. What does 2015 have to do with 2019? Maybe not a lot. Then when you also recall his unsavory allegations from his college days and, well… how many other players does this stuff happen to? 
Josh Sens: It was bad, for sure. But I don’t think we need to draw on old evidence to come to a verdict on how shady-looking it was. In a way, it was a fitting incident for our era of “fake news” and “alternate facts.” You do something that seems pretty plainly egregious, and then tell people not to trust their eyes, that what they saw was not in fact what happened. Different camera angle? I’m not buying that another view would have revealed anything different than what we all saw. 
Michael Bamberger: I would have tossed him.
I love Mike, and he's the man for moments like these, though I don't see the logic for a DQ...  I actually think this is an instance where public shaming if the better remedy.  But after hearing out his colleagues, Mike had this:
Bamberger: Dear gentle young colleagues: there was inconvenient sand behind his ball when he got there. There was less after those two practice swings. That’s egregious.
OK, upon further review....

On this follow-up, let me give you the entire thread on Slugger's curious post mortem:
2. PGA Tour rules official Slugger White spoke to media members afterward about Reed’s penalty. “He could not have been more of a gentleman; he was unbelievable,” White said. “He said — he had a different look at it. The angle that we had was behind and he’s looking from on top, so he may not have — I don’t know if he could have seen it as clearly as we did, but he could not have been a better gentleman.” How would you assess how the Tour handled the situation, and should the Rules of Golf allow more flexibility for tournament officials to interpret a player’s intent when it comes to rules violations? 
Berhow: Given the information they had I thought the Tour handled it … fine. It was weird to see Slugger White go out of his way to praise Reed like he did. What was Reed going to say? He saw the same video we did; there was nothing he could do to justify his actions. So I guess the other thing the Tour could have done was DQ Reed, but Rule 1.2 isn’t exactly one you want to pull out of your back pocket too often, unless it really warrants it. (Phil never even got it at Shinnecock Hills for playing hockey on the green.) So even if more flexibility was offered to officials I don’t think it would be implemented often, simply because it’s such a slippery slope, and a can of worms no one wants to open. 
Bamberger: Slugger is a gentleman. He’s looking out for the game.
Sens: Why does it matter that Reed was a “perfect gentleman” in accepting the penalty? His reaction is irrelevant. What’s relevant is what he did and what was and wasn’t done in response. It would be refreshing if Tour rules officials didn’t feel the need to bend so far over backwards to be polite about these things. A lot of fans have been left feeling that there either isn’t a mechanism in place — or the will, for that matter — to properly address incidents like this one, which makes the verdicts in the court of public opinion all the harsher. 
Zak: It’s so, so golfy to see what happened and then discuss someone’s attitude throughout. That said, Slugger was asked a question and he answered it. Things like this happen so rarely that, yes, I think more flexibility would be a good thing. Then they might never happen at all. 
Dethier: I was one of four or five reporters at this presser, and I think Slugger was basically preempting anything suggesting Reed had argued with the call. For what it’s worth, I think Reed DID handle the incident fairly calmly. But I think the Tour sees its job as protecting the players, and even though that’s not what we necessarily want from the rules arbiters, that’s what we got here. 
Bamberger: He created the incident.
I love the brevity of Mike's responses....Even though I differ on his conclusion, he's spot on.

I just think that the rules officials did their job, and that's sufficient.  Patrick had the chance to explain his actions, and chose the passive voice, thereby revealing his underlying character.  We now know how Patrick will act when he thinks no one is looking, and I really don't think you ask more of the rules and rules officials.

There's been a substantial interest in rehabilitating this guy, not least form Captain Woods.  It seems from my perspective that this effort will end in tears, but it should be a fun week in Oz, no?

Are We There Yet? - You might be wondering, how exactly does one get from The Bahamas to Melbourne?  Despite this being the 21st Century, the answer is slowly:
But the sheer distance between the two places—and the 16-hour time difference—present significant logistical, psychological and somatic challenges. The final putt of the
Hero will drop at roughly 3 p.m. local time on Saturday, which is 7 a.m. Sunday morning in Melbourne. The task Woods and his 11 teammates face is to be ready to compete, to represent their country, when the first tee shot of the Presidents Cup is struck 98 hours later. 
The plan is as follows: The 11 American members teeing it up at the Hero, along with family and support staff (caddies, swing coaches, physios, etc.) will board a charter plane that will leave The Bahamas at 8 p.m. local time and land in Acapulco, Mexico, roughly four hours later. The plane will refuel, a process that Woods estimates will take about an hour and a half. Then, after already being in transit for five-plus hours, Team USA will head southwest, fly over the North Pacific Ocean, then the South Pacific, then the Coral Sea, before finally landing in Melbourne 17½ hours later, at 10:30 a.m. Monday morning, Australian Eastern Daylight Time. 
What, then, is one supposed to do after a 22½-hour voyage? 
“Everyone’s different,” Woods said. “Whether you want to go to the gym right away, or go to the golf course, maybe stretch your legs a little bit. … Some guys will want to chill, some will want to go do some work. Depends on the player.”
As compared to the opposition:
Contrast that with the International Team. Six of Ernie Els’ squad are acclimatizing by playing this week in the Australian Open in Sydney. The other half are enjoying a week of rest, most expected to arrive Down Under well before the American charter touches down.
Good thing we have a task force that ensures the arrangements will optimize our guys' performance.... 

I'm going to defer the Prez Cup preview stuff fro the next couple of days, but Shippy does have a mailbag up that ledes with this bit:
With the top two American players either out or playing hurt, and with Tiger and most of the team stuck in the Bahamas the week before, could we be looking at an upset scenario at the Presidents Cup? -@BrianSullyMD 
Losing Brooks hurts, not only for his fine play but also his alpha energy. Dustin is certainly a wild card, too. And a 20-hour plane ride is not the ideal way to start the week. Throw in the thoughtful, subtle challenges of Royal Melbourne to neutralize American bomb-and-gouge and I think this Presidents Cup is going to be pretty close. That in itself would count as an upset.
If you're looking for reasons that the Americans are ripe to be taken down, I agree that jet lag is high on the list.  But I do think we're all prone to over-interpret Liberty National, and forget how close it was two years previously in Australia.  Also, those Internationals must be a little tired of the losing....

More Memes - People are really pissed at our Phil, and it's kinda funny... Funny, because they seem to be holding Phil to a standard that even I find unfair.  For instance, a get a load a Max Adler's lede:
Phil Mickelson is really smart, just ask him. As he told Golf Digest’s Guy Yocom back in 1991: "I don’t make a big deal about it, but yeah I’ve been tested [IQ]. It’s just over 200 . . . Just before my freshman year, some guys from Arizona State came to see me and they told me I could go straight to med school. They wanted me to be Doogie Howser. I told them thanks, but no.” 
Phil’s so smart, there’s no doubt he knows the definition of chiasmus. You know, “a rhetorical or literary figure in which words, grammatical constructions, or concepts are repeated in reverse order, in the same or modified form.” Phil being Phil is the chiasmic distilled essence of his being. Whether it’s putting two drivers in the bag or none, wheeling through a Krispy Kreme drive-thru in a green jacket, or smacking down Jake Owen on the dance floor with a wad of cash, the world recognizes “Phil being Phil” when we see it. And so does Phil. He wielded the technique Monday on Twitter in response to criticism for entering the Saudi International amid the human rights turmoil going on in that nation. “You do you booboo cuz ima do me” Mickelson replied to Guardian golf writer Ewan Murray.
All I remember about the no-driver bit at Torrey is that he then proceeded to miss every fairway....  to me, that's Phil being Phil.  In fact, it's when he's most trying to show us that 200-point IQ that he makes his most egregious mistakes.

Here's the gist of that which is troubling Max and many others:
Now, there are other prominent American golfers likely banking large appearance fees for participating in the second edition of the Saudi European Tour event—like Patrick Reed, Dustin Johnson, Tony Finau, and Brooks Koepka—but the heat is on Phil because presumably he should know better. A worldly man on the cusp of 50, knowledgeable on subjects as wide ranging as wine, dinosaurs and subcutaneous fat (and really almost any topic you care to bring up, many golfers say), should know that the staging of a popular western sport in a country whose values are so antithetical to our own comes with certain dilemmas that cannot be quickly dismissed. See the uproar between China and the NBA that’s now lasted over a month. Just last year Saudi Arabia directed the assassination of a dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, and so hosting a professional golf tournament is a stunt to rehabilitate its global image that the New York Times calls “Sportswashing”. Phil has to be aware of all this.
I get it completely.  It's those who expect more from Phil that will be hardest hit.  Fortunately, as the wise man said, they'll be OK.  Of course, the far harder issue for us to absorb is what the role of athletes should be in such matters, as well as the role of the Euro Tour in holding this event.

To me, the bigger issue is his disregard for the nice folks in Phoenix, where he's been rather well-treated over the years.  Chasing an appearance fee in the ME over basking in the glow of drunk co-eds?   His soul must be dead to make that decision.

But can anyone explain this 'graph from Mad Max?
I don’t know if Phil took any philosophy classes at ASU, but I bet he could offer a better-than-most definition of hedonism. Basically, it’s a philosophy of living where we maximize pleasure now based on the simple reason it might not be there tomorrow. Pursue money, fame and relationships while you can. Don’t worry, be happy. Enjoy a carefree, cozy private flight to spend a week at Royal Greens Golf and Country Club in King Abdullah Economic City. And while there, kicking it poolside, take a moment to both flaunt and view the beauty of the naked lower human leg.
I'm not sure Phil took any classes at ASU, but exactly whose naked lower human leg is under consideration? 

One last diversion into Alan's mailbag:
Why is the Euro Tour’s event in Saudi Arabia so controversial when the PGA Tour literally runs a satellite tour in China? Would we blast stars for playing the BMW PGA if Nigel Farage became Prime Minister? I guess my question is – where’s the line? -@Bitcoin_Bortles 
It’s an excellent question. As I’ve written before, the European Tour would more or less go out of business without all the lucre from petrocracies and other oppressive, authoritarian regimes. Long ago, the golf world collectively made its peace with the UAE and China, accepting that sport has always crossed borders and, hey, these countries are economic allies and trading partners to the U.S. and European nations. The new tournament in Saudi Arabia just seemed so…unnecessary. Culturally, the Kingdom is centuries behind places like Dubai and Shanghai, and its treatment of women is prehistoric. For Americans, Saudi Arabia will always stir strong emotions as the homeland of Osama bin Laden and 15 of the 9/11 hijackers. Hundreds of families who lost loved ones on 9/11 are still locked in litigation against Saudi Arabia, fighting to uncover the truth of its governments complicity in the attacks that killed almost 3,000 Americans. And then there is the more recent assassination of Washington Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi, who had been living in the U.S. So when an American star like Phil Mickelson jilts what used to be his hometown tournament to scoop up millions of dollars to help launder Saudi Arabia’s reputation, well, there is going to be blowback.
For the umpteenth time, he was not a reporter, he was a Qatari intelligence asset, and shame on the WaPo for printing his drivel... Not saying he deserved his end, he just doesn't deserve the patina of respect he's given.

And this "Don't know much about history" query:
What would the response be if Tiger pegged it in Saudi Arabia? -@pgambell 
He’s always been a mercenary, so I don’t think it would be a big deal. Phil is the one who likes to tell people he voted for Obama, so that’s part of the disconnect here — a socially liberal Californian who has never liked to play overseas suddenly propping up a brutal regime far, far from the gilded streets of Rancho Santa Fe.
C'mon, man, how many times did Tiger fly to the Middle East for thirty pieces of silver?  They all do it, and your expectations for Phil are comically naive.  

Gonna leave you here and promise we'll take all the time we need tomorrow.

I'm quite pleased that I figured out how to embed all those video tweets above, though amusingly the one thing that eluded me was the ability to center them.  You'll be OK.
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