The Old Girl

We're off early for a 7:30 game on The Old, fortified by bacon rolls the bride has prepared the prior evening.  We hug Jewelle goodbye, she'll be off to Edinburgh Airport later in the morning, and we'll be on our own for the remainder of our stay.

We park near the new clubhouse, and pass the Himalayas en route to the first tee.  The St. Andrews Ladies Putting Club dates back to 1867, and it's quite the thing:

Somehow Jewelle has never noticed it in her prior trips, but it will be packed with folks when we return midday.

It;s shorts weather for sure....I throw a pair of long pants into my back seat locker room just to be safe, but even in the cool of morning there's no need for a jumper or vest.  Caffeine? That's a different matter entirely:

This one was merely for show:

Those folks posing for a photo are our playing partners, and we'll not want for eye candy.  More on that below.

Now is not the time for a dissertation on the role of these precious acres, but they've been playing golf here since at least the 1400's.  The actual origins of golf remain shrouded in mystery, but there's little question that this is precisely where the modern game evolved...  That said, it also is likely to be where the failings of the modern game will reveal themselves, because it's unclear how they can protect this golf course in the absence of strong winds.

But, we'll not solve those weighty questions today, so let's enjoy the walk and give you a feel for the place.  James Finnegan notes that the town is more attractive than the course:

That is chiefly because the Old Course takes a bit of getting used to. It is no beauty. What's more, it's shamelessly deceitful and capricious. And it can be-from it's only water hazard (the Swilican Burn, fronting the first green) to the Valley of Sin (a hollow in the left forepart of the last green) -supremely frustrating. Nonetheless, it is truly the fount of man's best game; some form of golf, however rudimentary, has been played over this ground for perhaps 500 years.

He uses adjectives such as "primitive" and "bleak", and I feel compelled to defend the old girl's honor... It is ancient for sure, but I would go with "primal" over primitive....  But, as the reader is well aware, I long ago drank the Kool-Aid.

First and foremost, it's a golfing experience like no other of which I'm familiar.  It's very much public land, and not just on Sundays when there is no golf.  People are everywhere, at times without the natural instinct of self-preservation....  Grannie Clark's Wynd, the road that famously bisects the first and eighteenth fairways, is a public road, and I'll have to wait a second for three vehicles to pass before playing my second into the home green.

The grounds are vast, and there's often difficulty in picking out targets.  It's harder on the outbound nine, as coming home we've features in town, often church spires to use as our line of play.

But nothing can prepare one for the massive double greens....  There's fourteen of them, and they average some 33,000 square feet.  

The flags are white on the outbound holes, red inbound... Can you make the red flag out above...that's Cameron putting from the wrong side of the green, and it's hard to imagine he's taken enough club.

The course is often considered hopelessly flat, which certainly appears to be the case below, where yet again my mode wheel has spun to that sepia picture mode:

And yet, there's humps, hillocks and hummocks everywhere...

As for the bunkers... well, you know you have to avoid them, but you really MUST avoid them.  These are part of the seven sisters cluster on the fifth:

We've had a fairly typical scene on the first tee, as we meet and shake hands with the four caddies and our playing partners.  Problem is, I'm horrible at remembering names, and one doesn't know which of the caddies will grab one's bag...  So, we're on the fifth hole and I've no clue as to my caddie's name, but I hear Theresa address hers as Jimmy:

I figure that Jimmy can help, and take him aside after Theresa plays her shot:

Me: Jimmy, I'm sorry, but I've always been bad with names,  Can you remind me of my caddie's name? 

Jimmy: Dickhead. 

Me:  OK, I'm pretty sure I can remember that. 

Jimmy:  He'll answer to Brian as well.   

 Theresa plays into the fifth, over the bunkers known as The Spectacles:

This is one up close.... I wanted to ask to Theresa to step in for a photo, but it seems unfair to make them do any gratuitous raking:

You'd be wise to take about a week's worth of provisions in with you....

The heather seems quite healthy this year:

One of the frequent knocks on The Old Course is that it's too easy, hardly a frivolous concern.  It's calm for us, and as long as one keeps the ball on the intended line, it's quite manageable.  I've three-putted the first, but manage to steel myself there after and avoid further embarrassment.  I'm very defensive with the putter,   The short Par-5 fifth is my best chance to end the drought, but I fail to get up-and-in from just short of the green.

St. Andrews is the prototypical out-and-back links, except for the furthermost section of the course known as The Loop.  One enters it on the second shot on the 7th, where one needs to carry the intimidating Shell Bunker.  Theresa tugs her second, and finds the evil Strath Bunker instead, which serves to protect the iconic 11th hole.

The player's view of the approach to No. 7 over Shell Bunker.  Strath is on the far left.

But she's not alone there, as she first allows this gentleman to play sideways out:

Well done, sir.  Then Theresa safely extricates herself:

Well out, girl! 

Want more pictures of Jenna?  Of course you do:

She's all of seventeen, and features quite the athletic swing.  Quite a few difficulties off the tee, but we also learn that she's only been playing the game for two years.  Not sure where the ceiling is, but she and her boyfriend Cameron, a Scot from the Troon area, are both in a golf academy at Albany in The Bahamas.  But heads turn all day as we pass other players, and I don't think it's exactly her swing that's caught their eye.

Remember these names:

The two Par-fours within the Loop are short, and today the ninth is downwind.  I drive the green and tentatively two-putt for birdie, bringing the drought to a merciful conclusion after a mere 98 holes.  I wanted the eagle for sure, but was too whipped by my travails to give it a confident run...

Are you familiar with the eleventh?  Technically it's known as High (In), but to most it's the Eden Hole, taken its name from the Eden Estuary behind it.  I'll not bore you with the playing characteristics, but it features crazy elevation changes and one of the tougher greens in Scotland.  Dickhead has told me to keep it left, but I borrow a little too much of it:

Short is no fun either, as Jenna will soon discover:

Nor is long, as Cameron will testify:

I'm not much better off, as the line Brian shows me through the first cut requires a firmness that I can't summon.  I'm less bothered by the three-putt than by my own decision-making, as I would have had a better chance chipping the ball....

The water is dead calm:

The course has a modern irrigation system, yardage markers included on the sprinkler head.  Since we often avail ourselves of the neighboring fairways, they helpfully offer us the mileage in both directions:

As we make our way home, the Auld Grey Toon is our destination:

All avoid Hell Bunker on the fourteenth:

Still trying to convey the vastness of the greens.... this is the joint 3rd and 15th green (they all add to 18, by the way), in which a pot bunker cuts into the front portion of the green on the outbound side:

We get closer to town... that's Cameron's father trying to stay out of our way:

Theresa's had a bit of a tough go, and our match is long over before her ball stops mercifully short of the Principal's Nose:

Nothing can prepare you for the tee shot on No. 17, over the shed of the Old Course Hotel.  For the first time ever, I actually commit and find the fairway:

Historically, the line has reportedly been said to be the second "O" in Old Course Hotel....  Mine is on the space between Course and Hotel, but with my draw we find it on the left side of the fairway.

The jigger Inn, you'll agree, looks grand in inadvertent sepia:

Too early for a proper drink, but a coffee might be nice...

Alas, I make a royal mess of things, and end up here:

The only double on my card, but frustrating to be sure.... Sir, can I interest you in something from our Road Hole Fashion Line?

We get our money shots coming home:

I need to get moving a this juncture, so I'll leave you all here.  We're off to Kingsbarns, and we'll catch up later....