Unplayable Lies: Bonus Weekend Content

Employee No. 2 and I will be entertaining the Couplands this afternoon, allowing us time to catch up on a few loose ends... Yes, those Couplands, of Strathpeffer, Ross and Cromarty, Scotland. Will be good fun to catch up with our dear friends that you might remember were sufficiently brave to venture to Ashkernish with us last summer.

All Quiet On The Phil Front - Not a peep to be heard on this story that broke last week, and which I didn't have time to do justice in my Friday morning rush.

Shack had these thoughts on both the Clinton Foundation and that certain Southpaw:

Tuesday's news that the Clinton Foundation was no longer going to be associated with

the old Bob Hope Classic was surprising, and topped a day later by the news of Phil Mickelson's SEC issues seems pretty embarrassing for the PGA Tour.

Having the announcement of Mickelson as new "ambassador" a day before his SEC matter went public looks terrible given the comments of Mickelson's attorney, which suggests he knew this was coming.

As for the Clinton Foundation saying goodbye, the original 2011 announcement said it was an eight-year deal, yet they are now out after five years?

Thought for players to consider: perhaps Tim Finchem should be spending less time working on building leveraging plays to boost his retirement package and more time talking to Bill and Phil?

Just a thought.

Errrr Geoff, you might have been in your LA bubble a bit too long, as talking to Bill is fine if you're looking to confirm that he didn't have sexual relations with that woman.... But back here on planet Earth, The Clinton Foundation is quite obviously a political slush fund utilized for the sole purpose of maximizing Herself's political prospects. I'm as tough on the Commish as anyone, but he did well to extricate the Tour from a potential PR fiasco.... having, of course, amde the mistake of hopping into bed with them in the first instance.

But I'm more interested in the Phil angle at the moment... The obvious question is whether Phil made the Tour aware of his settlement with the SEC. One is inclined to think not, since the timing of the announcements was so awkward. If that guess is on the mark, one wonders what benefit would derive from Tim spending more quality time with Phil... Just askin'...

But this is the bit that stayed with me since my Friday post:

In 2012, the SEC says, Walters called Mickelson, who owed him money, and urged him to trade Dean Foods stock. The SEC says Mickelson did so the next day and made a profit of $931,000.

At the risk of sounding hopelessly naive, WTF? Now we've heard lots about Phil's love of gambling over the years, his longshot play on The Ravens in 2001 and the like. We've also been told at times that there's nothing to see here, along the lines of this:

He has long had a reputation for being a gambler, though he has said he scaled back his habit after his son, Evan, was born in 2003.

Query: So why did Phil owe Billy money? Was it an amount that was difficult for him to satisfy? And, the careful wording in the excerpt above leaves us guessing, but did Walters tell Lefty to purchase the Dean stock to ensure that he collected from Phil? Because Mom always told me that friends don't let friends trade on insider information...

Now Phil is trying of course to have it both ways, and our mission statement requires us to call him out on this:

Mickelson's management group issued a statement Thursday saying that he felt "vindicated" because prosecutors hadn't charged him with violating securities law.

"At the same time, however, Phil has no desire to benefit from any transaction that the SEC sees as questionable," it said. Accordingly, he has entered into an agreement with the SEC under which he will return all the money he made on that 2012 investment," it said.

Vindicated? Yeah, not actually indicted seems closer to the mark.... Because a guy like Billy Walters gives you a stock tip so you naturally assume it comes from his extensive analysis of stock charts and demographic trends.... I did not have financial relations with that man.

"Phil understands and deeply respects the high professional and ethical standards that the companies he represents expect of their employees, associates and of Phil himself. He subscribes to the same values and regrets any appearance that, on this occasion, he fell short. He takes full responsibility for the decisions and associations that led him to becoming part of this investigation," it said.

In May 2014, Mickelson confirmed that FBI agents investigating insider trading questioned him as he finished playing a round at the Memorial Tournament in Dublin, Ohio.

And by "Takes full responsibility" you mean what exactly? Because six paragraphs earlier we were celebrating his vindication....I'm so confused...

And that last 'graph tells us that this situation has been public knowledge for two years.... Has the Tour interviewed Phil on this subject and did he give an accurate accounting of his actions? If so, did the Tour see fit to impose any disciplinary action on the man?

We don't and may never know, because the Tour doesn't believe that the public should have access to such information.....Why? Because it's a clean game played only by gentlemen and you can trust us on that. If there were anything to be worried about we'd take care of it quietly so the rubes wouldn't get worried.

And yet..... I'm not inclined to take Commissioner Ratched's word for it... Here's a marquee player with some obvious bad habits leading to troubling relationships that ensnare him in criminal activities, but golfers call penalties on themselves so there's nothing to see here.... Stay tuned.

Muirfield Musings - Without so much as a link to yours truly, John Huggan echos a point I made on Friday:

The first thing to understand about the already infamous vote taken by members of the … deep breath … Honourable Company of Edinburgh Golfers is that this was merely a battle lost, not the deciding factor in what is fast resembling a war. If the same question had been asked of the 616 jacket-and-tie wearing gentlemen 10 years ago, the 219 who this time voted “no” to the admission of female members would surely have been joined by more dissenters. So it follows, as the membership ages and inevitably passes on, that a further ballot two or three years from now will produce a result that will allow the R&A to reinstate the peerless links of Muirfield to the Open Championship rota.

If such a thing does come to pass, the good news is that Jack Nicklaus’ favorite links from a pure golf standpoint (hence “Muirfield Village” near his hometown of Columbus, Ohio) may not even miss its next Open slot. As things stood before the vote, golf’s oldest event would not have been slated for a return to East Lothian until 2022 at the earliest. So time is on the side of the 397 Muirfield members who this week cast their ballots in favor of much-needed change. Ask the same question again in, say, 2018 and the numbers on both sides are likely to be very different.

John is a Scot and correctly identifies this as an Empire Strikes Back moment.... we know how the movie ends, just not the date. My guess is that this will be relitigated sooner rather than later, with a predictable outcome. Troon will seemingly get one more bite at the all-male apple, but Huggan tells us that such misogyny is the cause of this week's dreary venue:

It should be noted, too, that Honourable Company is far from alone in its stubborn adherence to what most of the wider world will see as nothing more than blatant misogyny. The members of Portmarnock Golf Club, near Dublin in Ireland, have similarly closed their doors, and minds, to the concept of women members. Which is why the Irish Open currently playing out at the K Club cannot, as things stand, return to what is widely recognized as the best course in the Republic.

“I’d love Portmarnock to change its rules and we could have the Irish Open there,” says World No. 3 Rory McIlroy, whose charitable foundation hosts the Belfast native’s national championship. “But it never will until they change their rules. They will never get any tournament. Maybe they don’t want it, of course.”

Best course in the Republic? Hardly, though it's a good course and a proper links and far better than the dreary K Club for sure....

David Owen ensures a steady supply of hate ~~male~~ mail with this defense of all-male clubs:

The men-only membership policy of the Royal & Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews was

scandalous and indefensible, since the R & A is the main worldwide governing body for all of golf. But the men-only membership policy of Muirfield is not, since the tournament it will no longer be allowed to host, the British Open, is also men-only. Why shouldn't a sports event whose participants are all of one sex be held at a sports club whose members are also all of that sex?

I love it because it'll make all the right heads explode.... The linked piece is current, but David wrote a longer treatment of the subject for Golf Digest at the height of the Martha Burke era in 2003. To be found here, it's notable for the lede in which David artfully pulls the wings off a humorless feminist (but I repeat myself) and for a long 'graph summarizing the differences between male and female golfers....

My favorite part is the appearance of Jesse Jackson, of Hymietown fame. Apparently, by 2003 things were going so well in inner-city Chicago that he could spare some time to shake down Augusta National.... It's all so tedious. We know where it's headed, but we can't tolerate the slightest deviation from the current Newspeak.

A bunch of old guys in Scotland want things to stay as they're always been....this isn't the march to Selma. It's a golf club and we're arguing over whether women will be admitted in 2016 or 2018.... Can we chill a bit?

Narrative Fail - You know the sky is falling and I know the sky is falling, so what's with Chip Brewer, Callaway CEO, and his happy talk:

Brewer: The market’s been difficult and we’ve bucked that trend. We’ve gained more than 50% market share over the past few years.

Now we’re the leader in the U.S. based on dollar sell-through of all clubs [for 2015].

Callaway is #1 in sales of irons, putters, fairway woods, and hybrids.

There’s much more reason for optimism. It’s a reasoned optimism, we’re not talking double-digit growth yet, but we are talking a very stable, improved environment. The demise of golf is not a reasonable call at this point.

Phew, that's a relief.... they've come out with good product and haven't flooded the market, so what's not to like. And this is notable as well:

Fortune: Where’s the biggest potential for near-term growth?

Brewer: The golf ball has the greatest absolute percentage growth potential. We made money in golf ball for the first time in 2013. Now we’re starting to see nice growth, we’re #2 in the category.

A distant No. 2 for sure, but the Chrome Soft is a unique offering (and, as I putted with a loaner Truvis yesterday, you know the Fifa ball, and I'm not sure what I think of it).

What's not covered in the interview is Callaway's large stake in TopGolf, which explains part of their stock's valuation.

Tough Gets - Golf.com has an amusing item on the toughest tee time in each of the fifty staes. Georgia's entry is no surprise, but how about New York?

NEW YORK

Fishers Island Club, Fishers Island

An island in the literal and metaphoric sense, this Seth Raynor-designed classic sits in the Atlantic, just off the eastern tip of Long Island, accessible only by boat or private plane and well beyond the reach of average blokes. You wanna talk old money? The dough here is so ancient, it calls for carbon-dating. But it doesn’t call attention to itself. In 1979, when GOLF included Fishers Island on its inaugural ranking of world’s greatest courses, a club representative wrote a letter to the editor: thanks for the compliment, it read, now please remove us from your list.

Got time for a story? Last month, after a Met Golfers outing at The Woodmere Club, we had dinner at famed Don Pepe's with the club's Head Professional, John Gatta. John had played a few years in the Fisher's Pro-Member, the last time with a women that was also a member of Seminole. John was headed to Florida to play some mini-tour ebents, and the woman gave him her phone numabe ran encouraged him to call her and promised that they would play her famed club.

John called when he got to Florida, explained who he was and heard the phone click. Awkward no doubt., so he calls back.... He explains who he is and the lady curtly responds, "I Know who you are. I changed my mid." Click!

No surprise that Seminole is the winner for toughest get in Florida....

They range from the predictable (Pine Valley) to the eccentric, such as the Bandon Sheep Farm and a math institute in California (no Cypress? That would let me brag about having played at least one).

But here's one tough get that I'll pass on....

INDIANA
Wolf Run Golf Club, Zionsville

The late Dr. Jack Leer was a local dentist and low-index golfer who aimed to build a men’s club for serious sticks. With help from the architect Seth Smyers, Leer’s vision came to life in the early 1980s, and it’s a challenge all right. You’d rather have a root canal than find yourself in some of the green-side bunkers. And just getting a tee time is like pulling teeth.

Does this look like something you feel the need to play?