At The Quarter Pole

It would be hard to think of a more eventful first round of any tournament.... we laughed, we cried and we asked repeatedly, "What the hell is in the water down there."  We had the good, the bad and the ugly.... and I'm not sure any of those cover Ernie.

Where to start?  I guess at the top:

On Thursday, the defending champion was ragged until he got inside 100 yards, perhaps due to playing a new driver after his old one cracked on the practice range Wednesday. Yet the closer Spieth got to the hole, the more magnificent his play as he claimed the lead at the end of day at the Masters for the sixth time in nine rounds. 

“I got a lot out of what I thought was an averagish round,” Spieth said after posting a score of par or lower for the ninth straight round at Augusta National—which is all the competitive rounds he has played here. 

“I’d put it up there with one of the great rounds I’ve scored,” Spieth said, distinguishing between playing great and scoring great.

He made quite a save on No. 1, and the round might have been a completely different story had that not gone down.  I'm still a bit skeptical about Jordan this week but, then again, I had Bubba.  He'll need to play cleaner golf going forward, but no doubt he made a statement.

Friend and loyal reader Mark W. wrote this morning to tout Justin Rose, and I quite agree that that's the name from the chase pack that jumps out at me....  With the wind forecast through Saturday, the guys that flush it should do well.

But this was a day that will be remembered for its epic fails.... and on that score it's quite the tasting menu.  First there were the pre-tourney favorites who got out of the gate well....

None more so than Jason Day, who torched the front-nine (the far more difficult nine on which to score) for a 5-under 31....  He walked off No. 14 at 4-under and somewhere on the short trip to the 15th tee his pact with the devil lapse.  The best and hottest golfer on the planet proceeded to play the nest two holes in 6-6, the latter one of the more inexplicable triple you'll ever see....

The shot on No. 16 was beyond bad, given that the target was twenty feet right of the pin.... That sound you hear is the air escaping from the Jason Day balloon.  His 31-41-72 is not one you'll see often...though that's a very competitive category.

Then there was my pick, the Bubbameister.... yeah, you know this ends in tears.  But he was cruising at 3-under through the eighth hole, and then... well, it's Bubba, so who knows what happened?  Perhaps a patron looked at him inappropriately or he was off his meds, but it got ugly very quickly.

Bubba is considered a magician out there, and yesterday was certainly proof, as he turned a 69 into a 75 without breaking a sweat.... Good times, eh Bubba?

But these guys are pikers compared to our Rickie.  Fowler had plenty of support coming into this

event, and his stock rose higher when folks saw the windy forecast.  But having seen his posted score I wondered about this header:

Rickie Fowler started the 2016 Masters with a roller-coaster first round

But it's actual a reasonable summary, a sour Rickie shot 80 while making three early birdies.  To do that he need two doubles and a triple, the rainbow coalition of scorecards.  And, for those keeping score at home, that was a nice, tight 44 on the back nine...Day and Bubba beat Rickie by three on the back side.  So, they've got that going for them....

Rickie showed his typical social media props, tweeting that he shot 80 to commemorate the 80th Masters.... 

I'll also add Rory to this litany for failing to seize the opportunity... a great two-putt on No. 15 to get to four-under, and then two late bogeys to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  

But then there's Ernie....and what can a humble blogger add to that which you've already seen?  This game can take an awful toll on those that play it, but nothing is worse than what it can do to those that play it at the highest level.  

Ernie has had a couple of well-documented putting mishaps recently, so he and his fans have been put on notice.  But nothing can really prepare you for the events on the first green yesterday, and it's not for the faint of heart.  First question:  It was initially reported as a ten (a nice seven-jack) and later corrected to a nine... anyone know how that went down?

here's the only video I can find of it, and I don't recommend you view it if you ever intend on playing golf again:

But this bit of context makes it even worse:

What's not seen in the video is Els' delay before hitting his first putt. Fans around the green said Els backed off the first putt three times before his caddie gave him a pep talk. Obviously, it didn't work.

This tweet from Brian Wacker captured the moment well, including Ernie's class:

True that!  He handled the earlier ones equally well, but this was one we'll be seeing for year.  I saw a quote on Morning Drive from Ernie where he spoke of having the heebie jeebies.... Alas, that's an incorrect diagnosis, and Ernie and everyone else knows that this is what he's contracted.  Condolences to the family are in order....

In other loose ends, Shack grabbed a couple of amusing items from The Ancient Tweeter:

My picks were so uncanny that no doubt you're dying for a Friday preview....  The wind is still blowing and you'll want to catch a look at Billy Horschel's pants.  The latter are the sartorial equivalent of Ernie's six-putt.

Lastly, we've moved on from our Masters scripting, but I had seen this but then couldn't find it to post.  If you're going to script your outfits, you might as well show how Sunday's togs go with green:

Hmmmm...red on Sunday?  I've seen that somewhere before....