Saturday Stuff

Sorry about that unscheduled absence yesterday....I can explain with one gif:

Since that's the last snow we're expecting, you'll understand that I had to grab what freshies I could.

Meet The New Boss - I'm shocked, shocked I tell you"

KAPALUA, Hawaii (AP) -- A new year, and everything is falling Jordan Spieth's way.

Spieth chipped in for eagle, make a pair of tough par saves late and ended his round Friday with a 15-foot birdie putt into the grain that stopped on the lip and then dropped into the cup for a 9-under 64. It gave him a four-shot lead in the Hyundai Tournament of Champions.

Two rounds into 2016, it already feels a lot like last year.

Yawn.   First and foremost, it's just good to have golf back after that endless off-season....yeah, both days.  One's thoughts wander to the concept of peaking too early, then we realize that his peak might still be ahead of us.

But let's not dawdle on that leaderboard, we've important stuff to get to.  First, let's get to the fashion beat with this:

You there boy! Tuck your shirt in and.... what the hell are you wearing on your feet?! 

You can just see the Club Captain's blood vessels broiling and his grizzly frown gaining several more lines of sheer disbelief and anger. Rickie Fowler's been at it again, wearing stuff that you're unlikely to see in your weekend stableford. 

Here are his ankles and feet at yesterday's Hyundai Tournament Of Champions in Hawaii. The high-tops are evident but what you have to look closer to see is he's also wearing a pair of tracky bottoms that form a sort of ghetto fabulous modern plus four.

Ghetto fabulous?  You could go a lot of years without seeing those two words used in that order.  Anyway, no sidebar pic will do, you need this in all its splendor:

Yanno, given the over-rated thing we went through last year, copying Michelle Wie seems a......wait for it, misstep.

Here's PUMA's Grant Knudson explaining the inexplicable:

“Each season we work closely with Rickie throughout the apparel and footwear development and design process to ensure we’re pushing the limits when it comes to both performance and style. 

"During a recent meeting, Rickie expressed interest in wearing a high-top cleated shoe that could be worn with more progressive apparel (joggers style pants). Our design team took inspiration from a prior Puma high-top lifestyle shoe and combined it with the Titan Tour Ignite outsole. 

"The result is a stylish, cleated performance high-top that includes a lace + Velcro closure. The apparel team then matched this with a version of our Six Pocket Pant that has been custom tailored to a jogger silhouette.”

Just one quick question, Grant, have you ever told him he's out of his cotton-picking mind?

And to continue this meme of golfers being weird, there's always Padraig Harrington to provide a struggling blogger with copy.   Here's the background:

Padraig Harrington looked like a tired Irishman after shooting a 3-under 70 on his first trip around the 7,452-yard Plantation Course in the first round of the Hyundai Tournament of Champions. 

Harrington, 44, the second-oldest player in the field, after Davis Love III, 51, clearly was suffering from taking nine weeks off from competitive golf to have an operation on a meniscus tear in his left knee.

Of course Padraig didn't want to miss this event, after not qualifying since 2009.  But it's a notoriously difficult course to walk, in fact it's the only example on tour where they use vehicles to transport the players and caddies from the tee to the green of a Par-3.   But here's where our Padraig goes off the deep end:

Besides the proper rehab, Harrington also utilized a cryo bath that reached unnatural temperature levels and helped him recover from the surgery faster. 

But as with many things Harrington does, the bath was unique. 

“I do six minutes at -140 degrees because I'm used to it,” Harrington said of the air bath where he did approximately 20 sessions in a 12-day period. “So, that's a pretty long time. Most guys are at three minutes. But it, basically, when you're working out, it boosts your testosterone. That's what it does. And it helps your recovery from injuries.”

No word on the extent of the shrinkage at those extreme temps.  And back to Rickie for this one that we'll file under TMI:

One of the things I used to like about our game was that its players didn't look like NBA players.  

Prayer, Answered - I had hoped, but didn't think that the Almighty was that benevolent:

KAPALUA, Hawaii – In a surprise move, Robert Allenby will return to Honolulu to open his 2016 schedule at the Sony Open next week. 

Allenby, who claimed that he was mugged after having missed the cut in the 2015 Sony Open,told police that he had been kidnapped and awoke in a nearby park with his wallet and money missing.

 Be still my foolish heart...think we might have some fun next week?

This Week on Planet Trump - We have some catching up to do, as our hero is everywhere.  First, he gets into a fight with Samuel L. Jackson:

On Tuesday, Trump denied Samuel L. Jackson's claims that he cheats at golf and that he sent the actor a surprise bill for being a member at one of his courses. And he did it in classic Trump fashion:

Now Jackson appears to be something short of a rocket scientist, since the bill that he posted on social media had his home address.  But here's the Donald's elegant response:

I guess we know what's not in his wallet.... But Jackson wasn't finished, coming back with an oh-so-witty "Your Momma":

"A bill from the guy that doesn't know me & never golfed with me! I'm gonna Block his ass too!" he exclaimed in the post. (It has since been taken down, perhaps because the bill included his apparent home address.)

Of course others have come foreard to confirm that Trump has, in fact, played golf with SLJ and that shrimp and hot dogs were involved...  seemingly a telling detail.  Trump later criticizes the athleticism of Jackson's swing, so when you say that you don't know him?  Oh, why do I bother?

But then came this story:

Later this month Parliament will debate a petition calling for him to be banned over his remarks about Muslims, while a rival petition claims he should be allowed into the country. 

More than 500,000 people signed an online petition calling for the contender for the Republican presidential nomination to be blocked following his call for a temporary ban on Muslims entering the United States last month. Almost 40,000 people have backed one saying he should not be barred. 

Under British law any petition that gains 100,000 signatures must be considered for Parliamentary debate and the House of Commons has now said both petitions will be heard on January 18.

I'm sure that none of these MP's will beclown themselves.... But Trump stays decidedly on the high road:

"The Trump Organization has plans to invest more than £200m into the development of the iconic Trump Turnberry resort, located in South Ayrshire, Scotland.

"Our work there has been widely supported by the local community and created hundreds of jobs for the region. Over the coming years, we intend to further develop Trump Turnberry and invest millions more at the site, creating sustained economic growth for South Ayrshire and Scotland. 

"Additionally, we have plans to invest £500m towards further development at the 1,400 acre Trump International Golf Links, Aberdeen, which has been consistently rated the best modern golf course in Great Britain and Ireland by the prestigious Golfweek magazine and many others in the global golf community.

Nice little island you have there... it would sure be a shame if anything were to happen to it.

Let's Make A Buddy-Pic - Readers know ad nauseum of my dislike of the golf schedule and, in particular, of my concerns as to how it might affect the West Coast swing.  But an interesting dynamic is playing out as relates to the most visible of those WCS events, the AT&T Crosby Clambake:

Now, finally, the AT&T (set for Feb. 11-14) is regaining prestige after years of

struggling to attract premier players. Five years ago, only three of the top 20 in the world ranking entered the tournament. Next month, seven of the top 10 could be there. 

Justin Rose (ranked No. 7) is the latest to commit, joining Jordan Spieth (No. 1), Jason Day (No. 2), Bubba Watson(No. 4) and Dustin Johnson (No. 8). Tournament officials also are optimistic about Jim Furyk (No. 9) and Patrick Reed(No. 10).

That's great news, but I thought they hated the event... How'd it come about?

Celebrity impact: Watson will play for the first time since 2007 because one of his good friends, actor/producer Mark Wahlberg, is playing. That prompted Watson to request a pairing with Wahlberg. Done. 

Similarly, soon after American League MVP Josh Donaldson signed up, fellow Alabaman Jason Dufner, the 2013 PGA Championship winner, hopped aboard. Steve Stricker, a 12-time tour winner, will make his first appearance in 10 years — because he wants to play with country singer Toby Keith, a friend.

“It’s kind of turned into a buddy tournament,” John said.

They're also trying to draw better amateur players, but there's still the infamous Crosby weather and that pace of play...

During Thursday's telecast from Maui the subject of this event came up and one of the commentators, I believe it was Mark Rolfing, called it one of the most important events of the year, because the players get to "Spend six hours inside the ropes with the people that support our game."

Six hours?  Said without a trace of irony...

Those Wacky Dutch - LA is set to become ground zero in Mini-golf, and we may have to deputize Maggot to be our on-course reporter, assuming of course that he's out of the hospital (that's a way-inside joke for those on Maggot's e-mail list).  

From something called Dezeen:

Architects and designers have created quirky obstacles based on features ofLos Angeles for a temporary mini-golf range at the city's Materials & Applications gallery (+ slideshow).

Contributors were asked to submit "a single architectural obstacle" that would relate to a feature of the local environment, such as drought, traffic or neighbourhood characteristics.

Fair enough, but to which local feature of LA does this pay homage?

Answer: All of the above....

And in a related article, the decidedly non-Dutch-sounding Jason Page used Dutch Design week to unveil  his vision for golf apparel:

Dutch Design Week 2015: golf outfits have received a graphic makeover from Design Academy Eindhoven graduate Jason Page, whose collection of alternative attire is designed to make the sport more accessible. 

The designer, who grew up playing golf, wanted to create garments that would make the sport more appealing to a wide range of people.

Well, a wide range of blind people for sure....