Unplayable Lies: Weekend Wrap

I do hope that you appreciate that I'm giving up a portion of my Cyber Monday to add a modicum of pleasure to your otherwise drab existence. At least, that's how it seems from my vantage point...

Normanesque, Almost - Did you catch any of the Australian Open? It was wild and wacky Down Under:

Matt Jones said he never felt comfortable. When the final putt curled around the left lip

and in the up to shut the door on Jordan Spieth and Adam Scott, two of the best players in the world, Jones put a fist in the air and arched his back with the palpable relief of man who has almost blown his greatest opportunity.

He tried to lose the Emirates Australian Open all day. He began bogey, double bogey to lose the advantage that he had started with. He triple-bogeyed the ninth after hitting his second shot into the pond in front of the green. Going up the 18th hole with a one-shot lead, he almost hit his third shot into the water, saved by the wind that blew it back on to the green. "Sloppy,'' was how he described his final round. "Terrible,'' was another adjective he drew upon. But Spieth did not play to his usual levels, and Jones' three-shot buffer was enough. Only just.

Somehow that doesn't quite capture the aura. I saw those opening holes before retiring Saturday night, and caught the ninth hole on the replay Sunday afternoon, and it felt like a slightly watered down replay of Greg Norman' 1996 death march.

Even knowing that he had won, I couldn't see how he was going to pull it out after that no-good, awful triple. And to give you a sense of the train wreck in process, after that triple Rod Pampling, already off the golf course, was tied for the lead. Pampling started the day a mere 14 shots off the lead... He shot 61, but still...

Mike Clayton sums up the schoolboy errors

On cue Jones made a complete mess of the difficult 9th when his second shot found the pond and a seven was the best he could do from there. Thirty-nine out with two birdies is no way to establish any level of equanimity.

Another Jones double bogey beckoned at the seemingly simple 12th hole and only a shot holed from the sand saved a par. His sand wedge had kept him level with Pampling in the clubhouse and tied with Adam Scott and Spieth who had predictably hung on and then got himself back into the fight.

It should be noted that that second shot was assisted in finding the pond by a tree, one that Jones was ill-advised to attempt to clear. But he held it together just enough.... and I do mean just.

He held off two certified show ponies, Jordan Spieth and Adam Scott, but they hardly brought their best stuff. The next swing that Spieth finishes with two hands on the club will be the first in a week, and Scott remains a basket case on the greens. He has his good stretches with the short putter, but it can turn on a dime, and we all know that makes him suspect under pressure.

Perhaps of greatest significance, Jones, Pampling and Nick Cullen earned tee times at Royal Troon in July.

We hardly need further evidence that life as a Tour pro is pretty sweet...but Matt Jones ain't exactly Spieth or Day in talent, yet he bags a former Miss Idaho:

For those keeping a scorecard, that's the former Melissa Weber. Thanks to Alex Myers for posting that at The Loop "For Context". Context is good, but I'm posting it her for Maggot.

Horses for Courses - Alternative Title: Home Cooking... Charl Schwartzel is promoting Leopard Creek Golf Club as a future major venue:

Did we ever doubt that Charl Schwartzel would walk away with the Alfred Dunhill Championship, the first event of the 2015-16 European Tour season?

Not really.

In fact, tournament organizers would be as well to cancel the tournament next year and just hand Schwartzel the trophy and the first-place check. He practically owns Leopard Creek Golf Club. He is 122 under in 11 appearances in the Alfred Dunhill Championship at Leopard Creek.

Schwartzel won the tournament for the fourth time on Sunday, and for the third time in the last four years. He took a comfortable three-shot lead into the final round, and walked away with a four-shot victory over France’s Gregory Bourdy after composing a 15-under 273 total.

That's all well and good, but the man has never won anywhere in the summer months, when some important events are typically played. And, per this, he's not delivered on the promise of his Masters win in 2011:

The victory was overdue. Schwartzel may have won 13 times as a professional, but there’s a sense he hasn’t pushed on from his 2011 Masters win. He has only had three top 10s in the majors since that Masters victory, with a best finish of seventh, at the 2014 British Open and 2015 U.S. Open.

Schwartzel is only 31. Time is on his side. He has too much talent not to contend in more majors in future.

We'll see, but it's not getting any easier to win important events, and it's telling that so many of his wins have come in events with watered-down fields.

This Could Take a While - When last we visited the subject of slow play, New Euro Tour chief Keith Pelley was soliciting the help of the aptly-named new R&A majordomo Martin Slumbers to combat the scourge of five-hour rounds. They held a two-day summit on the subject, and Martin Dempster had this report:

Martin Slumbers, the R&A’s chief executive, believes it is time for golf’s slowcoaches at all levels to be named and shamed after their behaviour was described as both “selfish” and a “form of cheating”. The accusations were made on the second and final day of a pace-of-play symposium in St Andrews, where it was revealed that world No 1 Jordan Spieth had been put on the clock there in this year’s Open Championship.

While normally one of the game’s quicker players, the step was imposed after the American ignored an earlier nudge from rules officials to speed up in the company of Spaniard Sergio Garcia in the third round. “Sergio made an effort and, on the ninth tee, I said, ‘thank you Sergio for your efforts, but Jordan you’ve made no effort whatsoever, so you are on the clock’,” Kevin Feeney, one of the European Tour’s referees, told the conference.

He described that step as sending out a “hugely powerful message” and went on to add that it had a positive effect on Spieth rather than a negative one. “When he was on the clock, Jordan went birdie-birdie-birdie and he came over and thanked me after, saying it was essentially the kick he was needing,” added Feeney.

You see the problem no doubt...assessing Jordan Spieth a penalty stroke for slow play might be a "hugely powerful message." Putting him on the clock for three holes is a tree falling in the forest. A very small, sickly tree....

And this should come with a warning label to avoid injury from selfie back-slapping:

During his presentation as the focus was turned on players in a bid to improve pace of play in the game, it was revealed that 24 golfers had incurred penalty shots – the last resort after verbal warnings then cash punishments – for slow play in the history of the European Tour.

The list included Seve Ballesteros and two recent Ryder Cup players, Nicolas Colsaerts and Jamie Donaldson, with South African Charl Coetzee and Chinese amateur Guan Tianlang, who was punished at The Masters, among four players hit with penalties in 2013. “There were none in 2014 and 2015, so the message is getting across,” insisted Feeney of the Tour’s education programme.

When the best you have is a penalty shot incurred during the Carter Administration, perhaps your enforcement is a tad lax... and this is his rousing coda:

While delegates heard that the European Tour posts a list at every tournament of players who have either been timed or fined, it is not normal practice for that to be made public. “I think there is a fear to publish,” said Slumbers in reference to slow play culprits across the game. “But I think it would be better for dialogue to publish some names and numbers in both the club and professional game.”

Ya think? Though we should note that that's far more rigorous than our own PGA Tour. In a follow-up piece, Dempster added a number of interesting details, most notably this insight as relates to distance measuring devices:

He reckoned the “jury is out” on whether or not distance measuring devices have helped in that respect. Nigel Edwards, a two-time winning Walker Cup captain, agreed, claiming he felt they were having a detrimental effect on the development of young players. “They have decreased the course management skills of elite amateurs,” said the Welshman, another of the speakers. “They just zap the distance and fire at the flag. I’d rather see them not used as players are not managing their golf balls around a course.”

I guess they don't teach logic in Wales, because correlation is not causation. They don't fire at pins because they have rangefinders, they fire at pins because they have a sand wedge in their hands because the powers that be have not controlled distance.

Club Struggles - It's a tough environment for golf and country clubs, no doubt, but this story caught my eye (h/t Maggot):

For more than 150 years, he has gazed down on the honourable members of England's oldest golf club, dressed in his finest captain’s uniform beside a 1790s putter.

Now, Henry Callender, the famous Captain General of the Royal Blackheath Golf Club, is to step into the breach once more to secure the future of the club, preventing land from being sold from under it.

The portrait, replicated in golf clubs around the world, is to be auctioned off along with the authentic putter from the painting itself, as the club attempts to raise funds to buy the freehold from The Crown Estate.

It is now estimated to sell for up to £800,000 at Bonhams, London, leaving the club’s premises for the first time since the 1800s.

Give it a read, as the prominence of both the club and the image makes this newsworthy. And for those struggling on the green, the putter featured in the image is to be auctioned separately.

Inside Baseball - The USGA had this announcement that will satisfy Chief Diversity Officers everywhere:

The next president will be Diana M. Murphy, joining Judy Bell as the only women ever to lead the governing body in its nearly 121-year history. Murphy will serve 20 years after Bell held the post.

The more significant new was of course buried:

Sources familiar with the situation tell GolfDigest.com that a change was made in the USGA bylaws so that, going forward, the new president can be anyone on the 15-member Executive Committee.

The sources say the change was made to avoid the embarrassing situation that has happened several times in which the seeming heir-apparent for the president’s post has fallen out of favor with the Nominating Committee and was passed over.

Under the new system, there will be no distinguishable line of succession.

I can't work up a proper rant on this, so I'll just excerpt Shack's:

The majority of golfers could care less if there is a line of succession in place, particularly after the decision last week to annoy their core consituency of handicap-posting golfers.

But add this to the list of trial evidence that (A) the USGA Executive Committee determined to conduct even more business in secrecy, (B) is even more willing than ever to hand power to its nominating committee by leaving open the opportunity to ascend to the presidency with little time on the Executive Committee.

And how about this for your weekly schadenfreude installment:

Sources close to the situation say Murphy, who has business experience and an education in communications, is committed to working intensely with Fox to make the 2016 U.S. Open at Oakmont C.C. in Pennsylvania significantly better.

It was Murphy who made the announcement of the Fox contract, with that back-of-the-hand swipe at NBC. Fox was going to revolutionize golf broadcasting... how's that working out?

Those Crazy Brits - I could have lumped these with the item above, but we do love our former Lords and Masters. First, we've previously discussed the contretemps at Wentworth as the new Chines owner works overtime to cull the membership herd.

Now Wentworth members are not used to being treated so shabbily, and today comes word of an unusual appeal to authority. First this delightful table-setter:

Relations between Reignwood Group, which bought the club last year for £135 million, and its membership have sunk to an all-time low.

In a growing escalation in tensions, Wentworth’s Chinese owners are being accused of a lack of respect after the St George’s flag was lowered to half mast for victims of the Paris atrocity while the Chinese flag that also now stands outside the clubhouse was not.

I'm quite sure that's just an oversight....but here's the gist of the matter:

Philip Hammond, the Foreign Secretary, has waded into the row between members of one of Britain’s most prestigious golf clubs and its new Chinese owners, accusing the Beijing-based conglomerate of “very disappointing” behaviour.

Mr Hammond’s intervention will boost the hopes of Wentworth Club’s golfers that he can succeed in forcing the new owners to backtrack in plans for a massive hike in fees and a drastic cull of members.

Mr Hammond, who is Wentworth’s local MP, will need to use every inch of the diplomatic skills acquired during his tenure as Foreign Secretary.

He must be a first-class diplomat, because his letter to the new owner immediately elicited this profound apology:

It went on: “We lowered the St George’s flag at the entrance to the Club, along with the Union Flag on the roof of the club, as a mark of respect following the devastating terror attacks in Paris earlier this month.

“The inference that there was any disrespect as a result of the Chinese flag not being lowered is deeply upsetting. We are extremely disappointed to think that any of our members would construe this to be the case.”

Translation: We are deeply offended that you took offense at our offensive gesture. Glad we cleared that up...

On Micro-climates - People are often surprised that Scotland does not get much snow. Oh they have some mountains and even a couple of ski areas, but the famed links courses in their seaside environs don't see much of the white stuff.

So it's news when they do, and the Extra Spin gang posted this photo: