Friday Frolics

I'm not sure I have enough time to get up a proper post, but we'll give it the old college try.  Tomorrow is a travel day, so you'll likely have to live without your next fix of random musings until Monday.

His Shot - Go Daddy Founder and boutique golf club manufacturer sits with Guy Yocum for an interesting My Shot interview.  Here's the nut 'graph on PXG:

WHEN MY ENGINEERS asked what I wanted our clubs to look like, I began with "sexy." Sexy is subjective, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I wanted the clubs to beckon to you when you looked at them. I wanted you to fall in love. I wanted the irons to look like a blade but be a little oversized with a sweet spot the size of Texas. I wanted them to go higher and farther without goosing the lofts. They sighed. "Is that all? This might take awhile." After many false starts, they nailed it.

That's what we need more of in golf, wifebeaters with tatoos....

Lots of good stuff on Scottsdale national as well,  and I'll be discussing this golf betting game with the lads when I get home:

WE PLAY A GAME CALLED SWEAT. It's the perfect golf gambling game. It's played one on one or can be played two against two. Here's how it works: Each hole is worth one point. In our case the point is worth $100, but it can be any amount. At any time during the play of a hole, a side can offer to double the bet. If the other side declines, they lose the hole and the point total. But here's the kicker: If an opponent accepts the double, they also receive half a stroke. The half-stroke changes everything. If we're playing a par 3 and I'm on the green, 40 feet from the hole, and you're plugged in the bunker, I'll double you and give you half a stroke. But if, somehow, you hit the sand shot two feet from the hole, and I hit my first putt five feet past the hole, you might want to double me back, which also cancels the half-stroke. So now we're playing for four points—$400—you putting from two feet and me putting from five feet, the half-strokes back to dead even. Other conditions of Sweat: A birdie instantly doubles the bet, an eagle quads it and a hole-in-one pays 10 times. Another rule: If you're up by five points or more, you can't decline the double. Whatever your basic DNA is as a competitor, Sweat will expose it.

Well, I learned Mrs. Murphy from David Owen, so why not give this a go....and also there was this bit which seems quite true:

COMMITTEES MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS when three people are on the committee and two are out of town. At golf clubs or in business, that's the rule. Committees rarely take risks. People thinking in groups can't think eclectically. One clear vision beats a diluted vision, every time.

It's a quick read, so give it a go... My only anecdotal evidence about PXG is that a friend of Kunta Kent's has the irons and doesn't love them.  It seems they'll be up on E-bay soon, unless of course he figures them out.

More PC Nonsense - I understand that folks are a tad miffed at Donald Trump (and your humble blogger is no fan himself), and that there's a great need to show one's moral superiority.  "Virtue Signalling" is the term of art these days....  But, does everything have to be made political these days? 

Apparently, that would be a yes:

The Barry University golf teams can no longer practice at Trump National Doral or any golf course owned by the Republican presidential candidate. 

That decision comes after the university’s president, Sister Linda Bevilacqua, along with the school’s executive committee of the administration, determined that Trump’s campaign rhetoric conflicted with the university’s mission statement. As a result, Barry, an NCAA Division II school in Miami Shores, Fla., has ended all relations with businesses and organizations in which Trump holds a senior leadership position, according to Campus Reform. 

The men’s golf team had been allowed to practice about four times a year, free of charge, at Trump’s course in nearby Doral, site of the PGA Tour’s annual WGC-Cadillac Championship.

Yes, we can't expose the delicate snowflakes to differences of opinion, or is the scare that people will realize that Trump can be, you know, generous.

An Acquired Taste - Mike Bamberger scores some time with the elusive Steiny, known to the ink-stained wretches as Dr. No because....well, you can fill in the rest.

Hmmm. Can you be in Steinberg's position and not use leverage? He'll wage war when he feels Woods has been wronged, as long as he knows the cards are in his favor. Witness his threat of litigation against Brandel Chamblee— really, his successful effort to control the reach of the freewheeling Golf Channel analyst—after Chamblee (in a GOLF.com column) accused Woods of being "a little cavalier with the rules" on three occasions in 2013.

If you're Phil Knight or Michael Jordan or Fred Couples, if you're one of the few people in the world who can actually improve Woods's life, Steinberg can be charming, accessible and pliable. But it's a short list, and to others in golf he can be almost comically aloof. As a sports agent, Steinberg came of age in the era of the Packaged Celebrity Athlete and concluded, I believe, that reporters working the golf beat are pests at best.

OK, that last bit is personally hurtful, but I'll try to suck it up...

I long ago learned not to blame professionals for acting in a manner desired by their clients, as is obviously the case with Tiger.  That acknowledged, I can't help but believe that if Tiger had managed to engage more with those outside his bunker that he might not have tired, as Alan Shipnuck theorized, of being Tiger Woods.

But I'll differ with Bams on the threats of litigation against Brandel, which to me only made Tiger seem incredibly thin-skinned.  And to assert that it constrained Brandel and/or Golf Channel seems dubious, as it's really not much of a threat....just ask John Daly how his suit worked out.

Quick Hits -

If Yhis is Dufnering.....

Wouldn't this be Booing?

Watching Him Chip Gave Me The Yips - Tiger: Watching Masters Would 'Drive Me Nuts'

SB2K16, The Sequel - Perhaps you enjoyed Rickie and Jordan's Excellent Adventure more than I, but there's a chance the the sequel will prove far better than the original.  First, Gary Player came up with the classic photo:

And Jack added this:

Now that will be good fun, and far more interesting...

Memory Lane - This is fun from a far more innocent era:

Doesn't that swing look free and easy, though granted it's a wedge.... Notably a Vokey wedge, but do give a look just for the shot with a left-handed club.

A Star is Born - The name Cameron Hurdus should be kept in mind, as he's just won his third Lido Prize for the design of a golf hole, in this case a Par-5 (H/T Maggot): 

The prize is named for the legendary Macdonald gem from the South shore of Long Island lost forever during the depression.  It's a subject I'd like to write about more in the future, though there's not much left in terms of photos or details.

Hurdus is a great story as he's on the maintenance staff of a golf club, but has been doing this for years.  Even Sir Nick comes off well....

The hole itself looks like an interesting double-dogleg, with no shortage of pin locations on the green.

Did He Check for a Pulse? - Justin Rose Calls U.S. Ryder Cup Team 'A Sleeping Giant'

Thursday Threads

I'm not sure how long we have, but if I disappear suddenly it's likely because a certain precious nine-month old gazes at me longingly....a fellow's got to do what a fellow's got to do.

Rio Loco, An Endless Series - It's T-Minus 100 days and everything seems to be going swimmingly... Or not.  In a non-golf specific CNN item, it turns out there's a couple of loose ends they're focused upon.  But first the big picture:

With 100 days until the Games begin, Brazil is unraveling fast -- largely overshadowing

the impending arrival of sport's greatest showpiece. 

Who needs the staple pre-Olympic media diet of venue delays and security fears when you have a leader facing impeachment, a gigantic corruption scandal and a global public health emergency?

These days a functioning government is more of a luxury than a necessity...  So, about the actual games, there are a few punchlist items: 

Completion of the subway link has long been in mild jeopardy. Should it fail to

materialize, travel during the Olympics may become daunting. In a cost-cutting drive, organizers slashed the number of Games-time transportation vehicles from 5,000 to 4,000 (losing 20,000 of the initial 70,000 volunteers in the process — fewer ways to get there, fewer people to give you directions). 

An International Olympic Committee (IOC) team says the venues are “98% complete” but test events in gymnastics and swimming have been hit by power outages and a number of other minor gripes. 

The issue of water quality in Rio’s Guanabara Bay, home to sailing events and polluted by raw sewage, has been without a clear solution — so to speak — for so long that athletes accept they must come armed with precautions against illness. 

“What we see now is that 60% of the surface is clean,” IOC president Thomas Bach said last week, trying to look at the bay and find a bright side. “Without the Games it would be zero.” 

More seriously still, a newly-built elevated bike path, one of the mayor’s projects aimed transforming the city ahead of the Games, partly collapsed last week, killing two people — on the same day as performers lit the Olympic torch in Greece.

OK, let's see if we can sum up.... the transportation link is only in mild jeopardy, so they're saying there's a chance.  The Athenians put on an Olympics centuries without electricity, so these modern folks seem unnecessarily fussy.  

And as long as the yachting competition only requires 60% of the Bay, and the right 60%, where's the problem?   Though we'll have to hope we don't have a man overboard situation during the Games, as they're eerily silent on what might be under the surface.  But I read "without the games" to be synonymous with "after the games."  And please note, we've not even touched on the "Z" word...

But the more serious point is that our golf majordomos have thrown their lot in with the IOC, a hopelessly corrupt oligarchy for whom golf is a third-tier meal ticket.  While 2020 will be in a functioning city located in a golf-mad country, this adventure still seems to inevitably end in tears....

On the bright side, our golfers don't need to go near Guanabara Bay.

In an unrelated item, you might need a scorecard to pick out a certain Ulsterman:

A Swoosh-Free Zone.

That's the view of Olympic Council of Ireland boss Pat Hickey, who revealed that the US firm was offered the chance to back the Irish Olympic team this year and see the Co Down golf star sport the Nike swoosh in Rio.

Instead the deal went to Boston-based New Balance for what Hickey described as "peanuts" - believed to be less than €2m - compared to the $20m a year that Nike are paying the four-time major champion. 

"Before Rory decided whether he'd declare for Team GB or Ireland we put our team gear out to contract," Hickey said at the '100 days to Rio' presentation in Dublin.

Kind of funny, no?  But I do believe that those "peanuts" reflect how private actors view the promotional opportunity.  They can of course be wrong, but they're putting actual sheckels on the line, so they're less inclined to drink the Kool-Aid.

Golfweek's Jeff Babineau had this colorful way of expressing his frustration:

Are Scott, Oosthuizen and Schwartzel – major champions ranked No. 7, No. 13 and No. 20, respectively, in the world – obligated to show up in Rio and compete? No, not at all. Would it be good for the game if they did? You bet. There are only 60 prized invitations to participate among the men (same number as the women), and you’d think the invitation would be treated as if it came from Buckingham Palace, that all 60 would check the RSVP box that reads, “Yes, with bells on.”

The bells seem optional, but those that go had best have this on. 

Trump Love - I know, it's really depressing on the political front, but on a different front The Donald gave our Shack a bit of a woody....  I'll let Geoff explain:

Some of you may know I find the links golf move toward immaculately manicured jacuzzi bunkers to be a depressing evolution of seaside bunkering. Especially given what the old photographs show and the vitality of naturalness in links golf.

So imagine my shock and joy in seeing the first photos emerging from Trump Turnberryshowing off the finished product. No more bathtub bunkers. Architects Mackenzie and Ebertdeserve most of the credit, especially since they convinced The Donald to go this route. 

Exciting stuff from Turnberry, which reopens soon and will be getting a full inspection from yours truly this July:

The lucky stiff...( Heh, see what I did there?).  Here's what caused the tumescence:

Despite my having fun at Geoff's expense, I quite agree that they look great.  I'd love to find a picture of the new bunker on the second hole of The Old Course to show you the contrast involved, but don't want to get bogged down.

Geoff has additional picks at the link above, including this new image of what I call the Hawaiian Par-3:

As previously discussed, this is a concept about which I have reservations...  Counter-intuitively, links golf seldom involves carries over water, despite being by definition seaside golf.  The combination of high winds and rock-hard turf makes forced carries extremely problematic...  No doubt this will be a spectacularly beautiful golf hole, after all, Trump only hires the best people and we're going to start winning for a change.....sorry, wrong blog.  But I fear for the playability of the hole for resort guests.

We'll have lots to talk about in July, I'm sure.

True That - Alan Shipnuck, straight off his play in The Swallows (I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too), spends a delightful few days with the distaff pros:

Last week I did something we all need to do more often: hang out at an LPGA event. In 

Why shouldn't the gals have groupies?

this case it was the Swinging Skirts, played at Lake Merced Golf Club on the outskirts of San Francisco. The general vibe was summed up by the four dudes in Danielle Kang’s gallery who wore head-to-toe cow onesies, a tribute to the sleepwear their heroine has made semi-famous on social media. Or maybe it was the moment during the second round when reigning U.S. Women’s Open champ In Gee Chun was walking off the 6th tee and an older gent blurted out, “In Gee, you’re so pretty.” Instead of ignoring him—which might have been prudent—she smiled beatifically and said, “Thank you!”

On Sunday there was the rousing rendition of Happy Birthday that Lydia Ko received from the gallery lining the 1st tee, and the hilariously dorky San Francisco Giants ski cap Christina Kim wore…with ear flaps. Afterward, when a pixie in elaborate face-paint asked Kim for her autograph, the player insisted on taking a picture of the fan. “Ohmygawd, I love your face paint so much!” Kim said, and it looked as if it might have been one of the happiest moments of this little girl’s life. Not to be outdone, Kang signed autographs in her socks, because she had given her spikes away to a 10–year-old who asked for them as a souvenir. “On Sundays I give away pretty much everything,” says Kang. “Shoes, jackets, gloves, balls…all they have to do is ask.” During the pro-am, Kang pulled a girl out of the gallery and let her walk with her on the back nine. She even let her putt. If this pipsqueak holed any, did Kang count it toward her team’s pro-am score? “Heck, yeah!” she said.

Well, Duh!  As a wise man once said, necessity is the mother of invention, quite the apt adage in this case.  And their games are. of course, much closer to ours....

You might recall Stacey Lewis' recent nonsense about the ladies being as good as the men, which is nonsense on stilts.  The unfortunate part is that in the same interview she made the case for the better fan experience at LPGA  events, but those common sense points got lost amid her babbling....  

Euro's 1, U. S. Nil - Bob Harig has a good item on the scheduling conflict between Commissioner Ratched and the Euro Tour, that seems to be tilting in the Euros favor:

The PGA Tour showed who is boss when, against the European Tour's wishes, it scheduled the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational two weeks prior to The Open this year -- during a window of actual golf on European soil that includes the 100th playing of the French Open. 

In a rare public display of defiance, the European Tour elected to not sanction the WGC event this year -- it won't count toward the tour minimum, nor will money or Ryder Cup points be accrued. And to show just how much the tour wants its members to play in France, it decreed that the event would count as two toward the five-tournament minimum in 2016. 

There were bound to be repercussions, and sure enough Rory McIlroyannounced this week he'd be in France rather than Akron, Ohio. McIlroy won the Bridgestone tournament two years ago, couldn't defend last year due to injury and would undoubtedly love to play a no-cut, big-money event.

Good for Rory and especially for Keith Pelley for protecting their own interests.  But it's just a perfect example of how the Ponte Vedra suits speak of joint cooperation when it fits their needs, but sacrifices come from other parties.  The Bridgestone captures most of what can be bad about big time golf, combining a senseless money grab for the top fifty players in the world without even a cut, played out on one of the most dreadfully boring golf courses created by the hand of man.

Quick Hits - 

But That Muscle Has Atrophied - Leadbetter: With Michelle Wie, It's 'More Mental Game Than Anything'

As Well as Beer and Cigarettes - Colorful John Daly, 50, will bring jolt of enthusiasm to PGA Tour Champions

Only 50?  That's not even enough for a greatest hits album... - The Definitive Ranking of John Daly's 50 Greatest, Gaudiest and Grisliest Moments

Bug or Feature?  You Make the Call - Greg Norman says he's no longer with China's Olympic golf team.  Alternative Title: Chinese Olympic Team Jumps the Shark.

If It's Wednesday...

... it must be Portland.  All is well and Stella is indeed quite the bewitching vixen, and I'll get a photo up at some point.  But back to bidness...

Fox, the Sequel - The Chambers Bay broadcast were hard to sit through, the more so for the Fox personnel's unearned arrogance.  The perfectly-named Awful Announcing with the lede:

When it was first announced that Fox Sports was taking over USGA rights and televising 

golf, it was met with befuddlement and curiosity. Fox had never televised major championship golf before and as a sport, golf doesn’t really fit in with the network’s attitude. What would golf on Fox bring – giant robots trampling around the course, glowing golf balls, Joe Buck? (Well, at least we got one out of the three.) 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Fox Sports was hammered by critics and golf fans alike for their first attempt at covering the US Open last summer. The unspectacular venue of Chambers Bay didn’t do Fox Sports any favors, but the telecast certainly left a lot to be desired.

Easy there, big fellah, Cletus would have been a welcome addition to the team....In fact, I'd trade Corey Pavin AND Greg Norman for Cletus in a heartbeat.

Here's the restructured team:

Play by Play: Joe Buck and Shane O’Donoghue

Analysts: Paul Azinger, Mark Brooks, Jay Delsing, Brad Faxon, David Fay, Steve Flesch, Natalie Gulbis, Gil Hanse, Juli Inkster, Buddy Marucci and Scott McCarron

On-course reporters: Curtis Strange and Ken Brown

Studio Host: Holly Sonders

Interviews: Shane Bacon

Reporter: Jaime Diaz

A couple of quick reactions....  Jaime Diaz is a great get (I know, you're shocked), but the key will be in how they utilize him.  I'm glad to see Gil Hanse return, as I thought he came off well in an awkward at best situation give the architectural train wreck that served as the venue.

I don't know what they were thinking in hiring Corey, who will mercifully not return, but the same and more could be said about Natalie Gulbis.  OK, she offers two assets with which Corey can't compete that hold up quite well on a 4K screen, but she's not a good fit with a live microphone.

Those are relatively minor carps as compared to Joe Buck, but baby steps.... Zinger and Fax are a huge upgrade at Lead Analyst, as I'm assuming the latter will get far more airtime.  The appeal of Holly Sonders is yet another thing that eludes me, but I'm sure Maggot will be happy to make the case for her.

And when all is said and done, they'll be playing on an actual championship golf course and Fox can't suck more than last year.  

Late To The Party - Welcome Ian, but some of us have been barking at the moon since the initial announcement:

"I don't think people realise that Adam is not letting anyone down. It's his decision and he's entitled to make it. I am disappointed he won't be with us but I totally understand his position." 

Baker-Finch has passed on his thoughts to the International Golf Federation. 

While Gary Player and others fear the pullouts will affect the vote to keep the sport in the Games past 2020, Baker-Finch hopes it will just make them heed format change calls.

"I think it will make them think about making it a team competition. I'd even love to see it as a mixed team even - that would be awesome."

Forget the golf stuff, does anyone know what that thing in the logo is?  It makes my mind go in a direction unsuitable for a family blog.

IBF is a decent sort, but like many others was just so gosh darn happy about the game's inclusion that he sort of forgot that it's an audition.  It's only good to have golf an Olympic sport if a.) It's a good show and, b.) People Watch.

Meanwhile Jason Day is far too reasonable about his countryman's absence:

Day said he doesn’t blame some of his peers for pulling out of the Games because golfers’ careers, for the past century, have been judged based on the number of majors they won, not medals.

“You can’t really get angry at golfers for saying that they’re going to pull out of the Olympics," he said, "because it’s never been on our radar to ever win a gold medal."

The mistake was in announcing it....otherwise no one would notice, since we'll all be glued to Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, et. al.

Big Shoes, Filled -  So big, in fact, that no one pair of feet was up to the task:

David Lancaster and Matt Corker have big shoes to fill. 

The R&A announced on Tuesday that Lancaster and Corker will replace long-time and legendary British Open starter Ivor Robson for the 145th Open at Royal Troon this summer. Robson retired after last year's Open at St. Andrews after serving as the event's official starter for more than 40 years. 

Lancaster, a member of Cumberwell Park Golf Club and a golfer for 30-plus years, will become the official starter, according to the R&A, and Corker will assist Lancaster in a supporting role.

No word on planned fluid consumption and/or potty breaks was provided at press time...

One more time for this gem?

However the search for my great white whale endures, that being the video of Y.E. Yang impersonating Ivor Robson introducing Y.E. Yang.  Trust me, you had to be there....

R.I.P. Manuel de la Torre - We've lost one of the greats, legendary instructor Manuel de la Torre, who graced every list of the 50 Best Teachers published by Golf Digest from its inception (the list, not the mag) in 1999.

See if this is a welcome change from most of what passes fro instruction these days:

He eschewed modern teaching philosophies that focused on specific body positions and movements. Though he could talk in great detail about the geometry and physics of the swing, his method was based on the simple concept of swinging the club toward the target. 

"You don't think about your elbow when you're brushing your teeth," de la Torre said in a 2015 interview with the Journal Sentinel. "And yet, you're very successful at brushing your teeth. But this is what happens with golf. People are not concerned enough with what they have to do with the club. They focus either on the body or the ball, and neither of those things produces consistency.

RIP.

Breaking:  Sun Still Rises in East - The only surprise in this piece is that the membership policies have not yet changed:

TROON, Scotland – The R&A and Royal Troon Golf Club is set to face the same barrage of criticism that took place at Muirfield in 2013 over the issue of female members. 

The all-male club is set to host this year’s British Open but has yet to conclude a review into admitting women for the first time in the club’s 138-year history. The golf club on Scotland’s west coast launched its review on Jan. 27, 2015, but the R&A could not predict when that review will finish. 

“The club is undertaking a review, and we welcome that, “ an R&A spokesman said Tuesday during a media event. “It’s up to the club to deliver that review.”

The funny part about 2013 was the opprobrium heaped on Muirfield, when the R&A itself had the same restrictive policies.

But the funniest part of the article is the description of the process, featuring outside facilittaors and discussion groups and the like.... Gentlemen, it's really quite a simple question.  If you like having Open Championships at your club then find two blue-blood ladies that won't show up very often and the world will move on.

Juxtaposed with the stately membership of Royal Troon, this millennial-friendly announcement is quite the jarring juxtaposition:

THE OPEN CAMPING VILLAGE TO OFFER FREE ACCOMMODATION TO THE NEXT GENERATION OF GOLF FANS

26 April 2016, St Andrews, Scotland: The next generation of golf fans attending The 145TH Open at Royal Troon this summer will be able to book free accommodation at The Open Camping Village. The initiative is part of The R&A’s commitment to ensuring the Championship is open to all.

The Open returns to the historic Ayrshire links from 10-17 July and will see the world’s best players competing to become Champion Golfer of the Year. Now spectators aged 25 and under will be able to take advantage of the new accommodation option free of charge.

The Open Camping Village, which will be run by The R&A’s official accommodation partner, will be located a short walk from Royal Troon at Marr Rugby Club. It will feature two, four and six person pre-pitched tents along with inflatable camping beds for each guest. There will be 500 camping places available each night with the facility set to be open from 10-17 July. There will be food and drink options and shower facilities on-site, as well as free parking. Security will be operating 24 hours a day.

Shack compares it to Coachella in his header, though the reader that brought it to him compared it to Scotland's T In The Park.  See if you think this is a good fit with the venerable Open Championship (and I don't recommend watching it straight through unless, of course, you're not attached to your brain cells:

What could go wrong?

Lastly, here's the Princess:

Tuesday Tastings

Buckle in, as we'll be moving pretty quickly through today's syllabus....

Drip, Drip - The Olympics morphed into an Agatha Christie movie so seamlessly that I hardly noticed:

Just days after Oosthuizen added his name to a lengthening list of golfers who have

opted to give the Rio de Janeiro games a miss, world No 20 Schwartzel has followed suit.

"I am sad and disappointed that several top players have withdrawn from the Olympic Games in Rio," he said. 

"I was sorry to hear that Louis Oosthuizen and Charl Schwartzel have withdrawn their names from consideration. 

"I would have given anything to play in the Olympics. South Africa had a great team, but now obviously, it will not be as good."

Well, Gary, we're sorry for your loss, but Shack might have had a point with this barb:

Charl Schwartzel is telling South African Olympic team captain Gary Player he can take his Olympic dreams and live them out through someone else, joining fellow countryman Louis Oosthuizen in announcing on the eve of more rigorous drug testing that he's skipping the Rio games. His reasons, if you care, were not clear.

If you grow up as a golfer you wouldn't likely have Olympic dreams, for obvious reasons.  And I'd go further, if you grew up as a South African golfer, you might carry a grudge against an organization that excluded your countrymen for so long...

But this seems overly personal:

Yes, but I'm not sure golf could survive another rally-killing major win by the South African. One was enough.

Wow!  Did Charl dis you somehow, Geoff?  And as I recall, that was a pretty exciting Masters... 

Switching gears, golf.com has an item of click-bait titled, "Tour Responds to Criticism of Doping Efforts", but one needs to read halfway through the short piece before reaching this:

Tour spokesman Ty Votaw declined to respond to Pound's comments or speak to the veracity of Pound's account of his conversation with Finchem, but Votaw did defend the Tour's anti-doping efforts.

Well, I'm certainly satisfied with that....OK, there's a trifle more:

"Since 2008, we have had a comprehensive and robust anti-doping policy, have conducted thousands of tests of our athletes since that time and have had a couple of suspensions announced, all of which demonstrates that while we continue to believe we have a clean sport, there have been instances in which players have made mistakes and have been sanctioned," Votaw said.

Hmmmm...a couple of suspensions?  Well, maybe if they're big-time names?

Under the Tour's anti-doping program, three golfers have been suspended for using PEDs — Doug Barron (2009), Bhavik Patel and Scott Stallings (both 2015) — but WADA chief David Howman told GOLF.com in 2015 that "there are gaps in the program, and that means someone might not be tested or might not be detected."

Now, as I reacll, Stallings admirably turned himself in for a petty violation, but suspending Bhavik Patel no doubt requires large, brass-plated ones... Pretty much confirms Commissioner See No Evil's reported comments to Dick Pound.

Oakmont On The Horizon - Shack has some good fun with the mangled transcript from the U.S. Open Media Day at Oakmont, including this:

A transcript of today's program will be available a little bit later this afternoon.

And please see a member of the compromised staff if you have any questions about media service or operations at the U.S. Open proper.

Let he who has not typoed cast the first stone... This was somewhat interesting:

For the 10,000, roughly 10,000 players that are going to try to qualify for this championship, what are they going to expect in terms of golf course setup in June? What's interesting is, a lot of sameness. And I say that because from 2007 we are playing it the same yardage. Every hole is exactly the same yardage as 2007.

The same fairway widths and contours as we played in 2007. In fact, these are the same fairway widths and contours the members here at Oakmont have been playing for years and years. They're the same grass heights from 2007. The same green speeds as 2007. The same general hole locations as 2007. Same bunkering and the same wonderful course conditioning that John Zimmers and his staff have done.

As for the inevitable Fox question, well....

Q. Mike, a year now in with Fox Sports, what are your thoughts about Fox as a partner and presenting the U.S. Open and all of your USGA championships.

DIANA MURPHY: Let me comment on that. Thank you for the question.

[Reports confirm Mike was not treated for any bruises obtained as the President dove for the microphone. Go on...]

We're delighted to have Fox as our partner. We have really had a wonderful experience with them in year one, recognizing it was their first year, and I know how excited they are to get out there beginning next month with our Four‑Ball at Winged Foot and I think many of them are on the course today having a great time with the course and playing it and also doing some video.

But I think that their innovation, their technology, their enthusiasm and energy and bringing golf to the world has been remarkable. And we're looking forward to continuing that partnership nor many years.

But if they were so good, why the major personnel changes?   Oh, never mind... Ryan Herrington has posted five things we learned from media day, including this one of personal note:

You should root for local native Nathan Smith to get through sectional qualifying.

The 37-year-old from Pittsburgh is among the most accomplished career amateurs of the last two decades, winning five USGA titles, including last year’s inaugural U.S. Amateur Four-Ball title. He’s also played on three U.S. Walker Cup teams and competed four times in the Masters. There is, however, a hole on Smith’s resume: He has never qualified to play in a U.S. Open in more than 20 tries.

“I’ve been close a lot, but I’ve never made it,” Smith said. Among the most notable was in 2007, the last time the Open was held at Oakmont. Hopeful to qualify for his hometown event, Smith excitedly took a phone call informing him that, after being an alternative out of local qualifying, there was a spot for him in a sectional qualifier.

For those with long memories, we're big Nathan Smith fans because of this very special day.   

Here's my recollection of my conversation with Kent before the event:

ME: Do you know who you're paired with?

KENT:  Some amateur named Nathan something...

ME:  Smith?  You're playing with Nathan Smith?  Sit down young man, that's not just any amateur.

 Oh, and that Woods guy is registered....

Back to Ryan for this:

The USGA gets cut more slack from players when the U.S. Open comes to Oakmont. 

There’s an old axiom that Oakmont members never tire hearing repeated: When the USGA comes to town, the club has to top off the rough and slow down the greens. It’s an exaggeration—we think—but one that speaks to the reputation that precedes the course.

As Davis noted: “I really do believe this is the one golf course in the United States that, if we had to make a call one to two weeks before the U.S. Open and say, we're in a pinch, can you host the national Open Championship, this place could do it.”

Though strictly speaking, that's not something we needed to learn.  There's an old story froma prior Open at Oakmont in which a player complains about the speed of the greens, to which a club member responds along the lines of, "That's nothing.  You should have seen how fast we had them for the Member-Guest."

How hard is this golf course?  Well, there's the eighth hole:

Famous for playing 300 yards during the 2007 U.S. Open, the 8th hole at Oakmont

Country Club could match that distance again in 2016. USGA Executive Director Mike Davis said as much Monday from U.S. Open Media Day at the course. 

"As we said in 2007, before everybody thinks we have lost our marbles making a par-3 300 yards, when you go back and you read historically about what HC and WC Fownes wanted, they designed that hole to be a driver, 3-wood hole," Davis said. "The only way to get it to that way now days is to get something back there. 

"And what's so neat about that design is, the 8th is one of the largest greens at Oakmont and candidly it's one of the flatter greens there. And you can land, I think there's a cross bunker there the Sahara bunker that if you fly, you got about 43 yards to bounce your [shot], before you even get to the green, where it's nice and firm, slight downhill slope. So, you could play even if you were playing it 300 yards, you might be able to hit it 250, 260 in the air and have it bounce up there. So it's great strategy, but it's nonetheless a tough hole."

I'm a Mike Davis fan, but I'm not sure that that's exactly the correct definition of "strategy".

Short Takes -  

ESPN Mainstay Mike Tirico Leaving To Join NBC - Tirico is an uninspiring, if inoffensive presence on the tube.  But he's versatile, and has grown to love the Open Championship.  With Dan Hicks calling swimming in Rio, he's likely to be tasked with keeping Johnny on point, an unappreciated talent of Hicks.

Sorry: #SB2K16 Is Not Something To Be Lauded - If you're not familiar with Snapchat lingo, that's the moniker for the Fowler/Spieth/Thomas/Smylie sponsored vacation that featured heavy drinking combined with topless and shoeless golf.  It's definitively not my thing, and if it's yours you might be happier reading another blog, but do give Shack's rant a read.  There's been pushback for sure....

The unrestrained joy of this announcer's albatross call will make your Monday - I'm actually more a fan of Hend's non-reaction, but your mileage may vary.  Hend went on to win the event, so for once it really mattered...

I came as close to seeing an albatross as I likely ever will on Sunday.  I went out late in the day with our male professional staff and on our 12th hole the aforementioned Kent St. Charles hit a 4-iron from 232 yards that drew towards the pin and rolled by on the high side by not more than a couple of inches.  Wow!

The man who invented the yardage book - It's actually someone with whom you're already familiar, but it's David Owen, so what are you waiting for?

Note to Readers - This afternoon, Employee No. 2 and I head the Hipster Central, a/k/a Portland OR.  There's an adorable little ten month old to whom we need to pay homage, or at least to let her spit up on us a bit.  The laptop is coming with, but I've no clue as to whether any significant blogging will ensue.  But do check back early and often...

Weekend Wrap

Lots to get to today, so no formalities as we dive in:

Valero Views - The Tour's San Antonio stop has developed a rep as a place where strange things happen, though it seems this year that an actual golf event broke out.  From the game story:

SAN ANTONIO - Charley Hoffman made a 10-foot birdie putt on the final hole to win

the Valero Texas Open on Sunday for his fourth PGA Tour victory. 

The 39-year-old Hoffman closed with a 3-under 69 at TPC San Antonio for a one-stroke victory over Patrick Reed. Hoffman finished at 12-under 276 and earned $1,116,000. 

''This was my hardest one,'' Hoffman said after a vigorous fist-pump and drill-team leg kick when the winning putt fell at 18. ''Grabbing that lead and holding on to it - it's tough to keep the pedal down and give yourself birdie opportunities and win golf tournaments.''

The first thing I saw as I walked into the house late yesterday afternoon was Charley channeling his inner Rockette, and it must be an acquired taste.  Charley leads the league in first round leads (or so it seems), but after a recent missed opportunity heard him speak well of his desire to be back in the hunt to "Show us what he has."  We like good attitudes, so good on ya, Charley.  And, I must say, we like this reaction as well.... Hey, you need that kind of wind-cheater down there.

I should also note that Employee No. 2, pining for the rarely-seen Lumpy and with The Duf sticking to his SlimFast program, has become a big Charley fan.  Happy Days indeed, and while I'm no Lumpy, I'm doing what I can to conform to her idealized body type...

The Ko Killer - The ladies got some prime time love from Lake Merced last night:

DALY CITY, Calif. (AP) Haru Nomura held on in strong wind to win the Swinging Skirts LPGA Classic on Sunday for her second LPGA Tour victory of the year. 

The 23-year-old Japanese player closed with a 1-over 73 in wind gusting to 35 mph at Lake Merced to finish at 9-under 279 and beat South Africa's Lee-Anne Pace by four strokes.

Nomura won the Australian Women's Open in February, pulling away to beat top-ranked Lydia Ko by three strokes for her first LPGA Tour title.

Despite our Lydia fading badly over the weekend, this one was notable for the difficult playing conditions.  It was cold and windy, and by the latter I mean bent flagstick windy....Or, this windy... Note how much green is between the ball and the hole as she approaches it...

Nomura was staggering, having bogeyed four out of five holes, when she made a snake from the back of the green to a front pin.  Had the cup not intervened, that putt might well have finished utside the town limits of Daly City, and on such things turn golf tournaments.

This young lady was serenaded with Happy Birthday on the first tee:

Our little girl is growing up....

The Zealot - Your tolerance for Bryson DeChambeau might be ebbing, as his Magical Mystery Tour has sucked a lot of the air out of the room.  But in a sport where not long ago we were bemoaning the pre-fab nature of your typical Tour rabbit, he really is a pretty interesting fellow.  

So the timing of this profile is sub-optimal, especially in the week of an MC, but the byline most certainly is not... So hover your mouse and click through to this Jaime Diaz profile of The Professor:

DeChambeau knows he has a presence, and he has a mission. His most stated goal is to

influence the game's multitudes and bring more people to golf. He has been inspired by two meetings with Arnold Palmer, whose example of giving back on a large scale he expects to emulate. Because at this point in his life, Bryson DeChambeau is pretty sure he can do anything.

Consider his explanation for being able to write his full name backward with his left hand, which could be taken as the DeChambeau Manifesto. "It's not talent, it's just practice," he says in a voice that sounds like it belongs to an older person. "If I wanted to learn Arabic or Russian, I could. Or tie my shoes in a new way, I could. Why? Dedication. I'm not really smart, but I'm dedicated. I can be good at anything if I love it and dedicate myself. And I love history. I love science. I love music. I love golf. I love learning. I love life. I love trying to be the best at anything and everything." 

Yes, DeChambeau can come on strong, in a way that could easily come off as grandstanding to his peers. But it's telling that he's well-liked by the young amateurs he has long competed against and has been well-received by pros.

Many are finding him arrogant, which I completely get.  But that last graph is notable in that he seems well liked by those competing against him, and they know him far better than we do.  Just go read the whole thing and I'll wait until you get back...

There was also this guy that seems to like the young man:

He must really like Bryson, since it's the first time in ages we've seen him with a shirt on...

How The Other Half Lives - You'll enjoy this Alan Shipnuck feature on something of which we can only dream:

I began working as a cart boy at Pebble Beach Golf Links in the spring of 1991, when I

was a high school senior in Salinas, Calif., a dusty farming town 15 miles east and a world away from Pebble. My first weekend on the job happened to come a few days after something called the Swallows tournament had been played, and the Beach was still buzzing. I had never heard of the Swallows but quickly ascertained that it was a prestigious amateur tournament played annually around Pebble. (Hence the name — the invitees fly in every year for the last full weekend in April, as predictably as the swallows return to San Juan Capistrano.) Finally I asked a fellow cart boy, "Who gets to play in the Swallows?" I've never forgotten his answer: "Masters of the universe."

 What are you waiting for, just read the damn thing and you'll no doubt react as I did....The Bastard!  Any chance they'd like the event to be blogged?

Have You Seen My Shocked Face? - We've been all over the Olympics for sure, but haven't discussed the doping issue for a bit.  Dick Pound, the former head of WADA, called out our little game in a recent speech:

A vocal crusader on the subject of stricter drug testing of all sports people since his days

as vice-president of the International Olympic Committee, dating back to 1987, he said it would be naive to assume that any sport or nation is immune. 

“We have all seen the shape changes in golfers and the distances they are hitting now and we know that the equipment is better and the balls are better but it isn’t just that,” said Pound, who recalled a conversation with the commissioner of the PGA Tour, Tim Finchem, stating that the sport which “has a great reputation for calling faults on yourself” could set an example to others by outing the cheats. But, the reply he received was disappointing. “He said: ‘Ah, but if I do that then they are all going to think my guys are just like those baseball players and football players and I don’t want that’. But if you follow some of the shape changes in the golfers and follow how, at a certain point, if they happen to come off them, you see how many more injuries they get. There’s a problem there.”

First of all, I think it's very hurtful for him to speak of Lumpy that way....

But seriously, chiseled body with multiple injuries?  Hmmmm...does anyone come to mind?  But perhaps he's not aware that golfers call penalties on themselves...  and this has never been fully explained.

But how pitch perfect is that account of Commissioner See No Evil?

And while we're sort of on the Olympics, the reactions to the Olympic no-shows continues unabated.  One of the realities of the Olympics is that the smaller the country the greater the importance.  This Randall Mell piece on the battle to make the South Korean Women's Golf Team is quite compelling:

DALY CITY, Calif. – So Yeon Ryu knows what Olympic fever can do. 

It seems as if every golf fan in her native South Korea is stricken with it. 

She knows the brilliant 9-under-par 63 she shot Thursday to take the early lead at the Swinging Skirts Classic will lead folks back home to begin calculating what a victory Sunday could do for Ryu’s hopes of making the Korean Olympic team, and she dreads the feverish projections. 

It’s like the Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro have become the be all and end all of Korean golf.

“That just makes me crazy,” Ryu said.

It's actually a fascinating look into Korean culture, though you'd have thought that Randall would have at least touched on Ha Na Jang and Beyoncegate and luggagegate.  But here's the gist of the problem:

There are no fewer than ten South Korean women in the top twenty world rankings as of last week, and only four can qualify for Rio.  It's a sixty player field and an individual competition, but we can't accommodate the ninth ranked player in the world.  So, remind me why I should care...

The there's this via Brian Keough from the Irish perspective:

When we spoke about the opposition of high profile golfers such as Scott to golf in the Games, he pulled out his phone to call up a piece he had written for a media outlet. 

"No matter how successful a golfer may be and how many majors he may have won, the majority in the world’s population could not name golf’s four majors. But they know what a gold medal at the Olympics stands for," McGinley read. 

"It is easy to dismiss golf as an Olympic sport and at the same time belittle the value of winning a gold medal compared to winning a major. To do so leaves one open to stand accused of being insular in a sport that is often seen this way. Are we happy with this stereotyping or do we want to be a part of breaking down and demystifying this great game of ours?"

Paul McGinley is a fine fellow and a strong supporter of Irish golf, so we're favorably predisposed to the man, but still... the value of an Olympic Gold Medal in golf remains speculative.  I would argue that the best analogy is tennis, and that doesn't exactly support Paul's premise.

But what in God's name does he mean about "breaking down and demystifying" golf?  The problem is that the players are acutely aware of two rather significant factors that McGinely and Mell ignore:

1. The format is a joke... Not only is 72 holes of stroke play a yawn, but the fields will be the equivalent in strength of the Hero World Challenge; and
2. None of golf's governing bodies was willing to sacrifice a single event to make the summer schedule manageable.

I'm mystified by the abject failure of the governing bodies (what Shack calls the "Five Families") to protect our game in negotiations with the IOC.  We've previously discussed some of the laughable moments in the negotiations, i.e., the IOC not understanding the need for caddies and the like...  But one comes away with the sense that it was more important to have golf in the games than to ensure a minimal level of integrity to the competition.

So, if the governing bodies are happy to stage a glorified exhibition in Rio, why should the players treat it as something more than that?  Discuss among yourselves....

Friday F-Ups

OK, not the most promising start to a day's blogging, discovering that yesterday's post was never published...

So, go read it now and I'll be here when you get back.

The Tiger in Winter - A week to ten days ago we had reports of Tiger stepping up his golf , actual playing holes....(yawn).  The we had this report of the man at a Nike-sponsored junior clinic, including video.

But most of the world's attention is on this long ESPN article provocatively titled The Secret History of Tiger Woods.  I think the fact-checkers would give it One-and-a-half Pinocchios, as there's no doubt new stories though nothing in essence that's new in the piece.

Spoiler Alert: Tiger had Daddy issues, though who among us doesn't?  This bit rings true, and fills in some helpful background on one of his positive relationships:

Sitting at a steakhouse in the Bahamas one night, Begay is quiet for a moment. He's here

for the Golf Channel, forced years ago by his own bad back to make the same admissions that Tiger is making now: The dreams he dreamed as a boy are ending. They met as children -- Tiger was 9 and Notah was 12 -- playing youth golf in California. They saw each other, perhaps the only nonwhite, nonwealthy people around, and Notah walked up to Tiger and told him, "You'll never be alone again." They've been friends ever since, passing together through each stage of life. A few weeks ago, he and Tiger were hanging out at the house in Jupiter when Woods realized they needed to make a carpool run and get his kids at school. They drove over and parked in line with the other parents, about 30 minutes early, and to kill the time, they laughed and talked about Stanford. "Tiger and I do a lot of looking back," Begay says. "He loves to talk about college." 

Tiger told stories about how his daughter likes soccer and is already a prankster, and Begay said how his girl loves gymnastics and drawing, and then they both looked at each other and just started laughing: Can you believe we are sitting in a carpool line? Tiger is facing the reckoning that all young and powerful men face, the end of that youth and power, and a future spent figuring out how those things might be mourned and possibly replaced. This final comeback, if he ever gets healthy, will be his last.

This rift was news to me:

As Tiger got famous, Earl traveled the world with him. The definitive book about Tiger and Earl, Tom Callahan's His Father's Son, details the women in Earl's orbit. There was a "cook" at the 2001 Open Championship, and when Callahan said she must be a good cook, Earl grinned and said, "She sure knows how to keep that potato chip bowl filled up." At another event in South Africa, a stream of escorts made their way to Earl's room. Callahan reports that near the end of Earl's life, Tiger and Earl stopped talking for a while. "Tiger's mad at me," he told the author, and implied that he'd gotten into some sort of woman trouble that his son paid to make go away. Ultimately, Callahan wrote, Tida is the one who persuaded Tiger to make peace, telling her son that he'd regret it if Earl died before he made things right. 

"He's going to be gone and you're going to be sorry," she told him.

The piece tops out at 11,000 words and there are some strange detours, including a strained attempted to attach significance to this book that happened to be in the Escalade:

The title is Get a Grip on Physics, and I'll conceed that someone needs to get a grip.  And who says journalists don't do any shoeleather reporting these days:

The forces kept working until finally his wife found text messages from Rachel Uchitel on his phone and he ran his Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant (that car, incidentally, is owned by a man in rural Arkansas, who bought it used from a local dealer, neither of whom knew its own secret history).

Well, they do now... But while there's lots of damning bits, it's hard to discern a larger purpose to the piece.  There's way more detail on the Navy Seal bit as a for instance, but we all knew that Tiger had a cheap side....

Shack focuses on the Michael Jordan connection, and His Airness' moniker of "rabbit Ear" for Tiger is notable.  You also can exercise the option to read Cam Morfitt Eleven Things We Learned summary and save yourself some time, though this should be stricken from the list:

2. While many celebrities customize the tail numbers of their private planes, Woods had his blocked to thwart tracking websites.

Ummm....he named his yacht Privacy, I think we might have guessed this... 

Another Fine Prediction - This one is notable more for the timing of is denouement than the wrongness of my forecast, at least that's my story...  Remember that post from yesterday that I made you read today when I finally hit the publish icon?

Well, in the immortal words of Emily Litella, never mind:

Louis Oosthuizen of South Africa won't be taking part in golf's return to the Olympics this year, the third major champion to withdraw in the last week as the deadline nears to confirm participation. 

Oosthuizen, who won the 2010 British Open at St. Andrews is No. 12 in the world, said Thursday he was pulling out because of family and scheduling issues.

One example is an anecdote, two a trend.... I still don't see an avalanche of non-attendance, but one can readily see the risk if others follow suit.  No one wants to be the last man to die in a losing cause....

A Fine Bromance - We humans are a curious species, prone to emotional expressions at the most curious times.  But them times don't get much curiouser than here, in which Brandell Chamblee gets weepy over his disagreement with Frank Nobilo over Tiger's drop at the 2013 Masters:

"At noon, (Nobilo) came in and sat down and he brought a perspective that I had not thought of. I remember, he was on the air and he was speaking. And it was ... it was just beautiful. I just thought 'that's a great mind.' And to see someone with that passion ... you know, I remember thinking 'He's doing his job.' ... When I see someone, in anything, that is passionate about what they're doing, it moves me. And he is and that's why I love working with him."

He's doing his job?  Can you give me a sec here, I'm getting a little weepy...

That will have to be sufficient to get you through the weekend.